Philippians 3:13-14 – How to Live with Ourselves – Bible study

Philippians 3:13-14 How Do We Live with Ourselves? \#13\ Forgetting those things which are behind me and reaching forth." From time to time, I am reminded of the difficulty that some have in living with their past. All of us have a past and most likely, everyone has something to feel guilty over. Sometimes, that can be overwhelming. Yet in every case, God will grant us his forgiveness if we ask. He then desires that we forgive ourselves. Paul understood something of this kind of guilt. 1Tim 1:15 This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief. Paul called himself the chief of sinners. Before his conversion, Paul consented to at least one death (Stephen) and probably many more. He was also responsible for the arrest of godly men and women who did nothing more than live for Jesus. How many homes do you suppose he destroyed? How many children did he cast out on the streets? How many good people did he hurt or even kill? I am sure that if Paul had allowed it, his past could have easily conquered and destroyed him. You may or may not realize it but our past (our guilt, our shame) can be one of Satans most powerful tools to hinder us. How do we deal with it? Paul shows us how he dealt with it. I. We must be certain that God has forgiven us. A. We never sin against anyone more than we sin against God. 1. That statement might sound wrong but if you will consider it, I believe you will find it is true. 2. Whatever our wrong was, it was against God first and foremost. 3. If some other human was hurt or even killed, our sin was still against God first and foremost. B. How we make someone else feel, does not determine whether an action is right or wrong. 1. Sometimes we do something wrong and it doesn’t make us feel badly at all. 2. At other times what we are doing may be right, but we feel terrible because of it. 3. We cannot use our feeling to determine what right and wrong is. 4. What do we use? C. I would say two things determine what is right and wrong. 1. What God says determines what right and wrong is. a. All rules of right and wrong behavior are made by God. b. Wrong is only wrong because God said it was wrong. c. Right is only right because God said it was right. 2. How what we do hinders the plan of God determines what right and wrong is. Whatever we did, whoever we injured, it was Gods plan that we messed up and Gods rules that we violated. 3. If fact if neither of those things were done, no matter how someone feels, no wrong was done. D. So if we want forgiveness, we must go to the One whom we have truly sinned against. 1. Good news. God not only wants to forgive us, He will. Acts 5:31 Him hath God exalted with his right hand to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins. Acts 13:38 Be it known unto you therefore, men and brethren, that through this man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins: 2. More good news. a. God is the One who owns the books of right and wrong, guilt and innocence, condemnation and forgiveness. Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. b. I understand that most every human being has their own miniature ledger of right and wrong, guilt and innocence, condemnation and forgiveness. c. However, Gods books are the only books that count. (1) God is the only sinless, perfect One who has never done anything wrong to anyone. (2) That means God is the only One who has the right to keep the books. (3) In addition, Gods books are the only books from which we will be judged. d. In other words, if God forgives you, the wrong you committed is replaced with right, the guilt feelings He produces are replaced with innocence, and the condemnation you deserved is replaced with forgiveness. D. Get Gods forgiveness. 1. If you are not saved, be saved. When we are saved, all of our sins are washed away. 2. If you are saved, confess to God that what you have done is wrong. a. Believe it or not. It is that simple. b. \#1John 1:9\ is real. E. However, there is more we need to do to get forgiveness from others. II. Attempt to reconcile with any person who will allow you to do so. A. After you have received forgiveness from God, you should attempt to reconcile with those you have hurt. 1. The Word of God clearly teaches us that we are to attempt reconciliation: Matt 5:23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. Romans 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 2. Sadly, reconciliation is not always possible; but if we can, we should surely reconcile with others. B. Understand that the Bible is talking about reconciliation not just apologizing. C. I see several aspects to reconciliation. 1. Start by making right whatever you can make right. 2. Go see the wronged person. 3. Tell the wronged what you did to wrong them. 4. Tell the wronged what you have begun to do to fix the wrong. 5. Ask the person what you can do to make the wrong right or righter. 6. Ask for forgiveness. D. You say, "I tried to reconcile, but I was met with bitterness and hatred." Here it gets a bit difficult. 1. Accept it. a. Accept the fact that they are bitter, angry, and unforgiving. b. We have no right to condemn a person who is angry from a seed we planted. c. If we planted a hurt, a betrayal, or a deception; and they harvested a crop of anger and bitterness because of it, we just have to accept it. d. A good part of self-forgiveness is accepting things. (1) When we are asking for forgiveness from someone we wronged, we are asking them to accept that wrong and to live with it. (2) When they refuse to forgive us, they are telling us no. That instead, we are going to have to accept their bitterness and live with it. (3) Either way, someone is going to have to accept something that they didnt want. (4) Their logic is they already have enough to accept, it is time for us to accept that they are not going to get over it. (5) So accept it. e. If we offended them, we must accept their choice to be bitter and continue our life with joy, peace, and happiness, knowing that God has forgiven us and that He is the One who really matters. 2. Now, that is not the outcome we wanted. a. It is not the outcome we wanted for THEM. (1) Their bitterness will hurt them just like it will hurt us if we do not accept and walk in Gods forgiveness. (2) We dont want them to be hurt anymore. b. It is not the outcome we wanted for US. While nothing can remove a wrong that has been done, it is easier to live with what we have done if we know the person we wronged as forgiven us. c. It is not the outcome we wanted for GOD’S PLAN. If a person carries bitterness, it will affect their relationship with God. d. Above all things, we are not going to do anything more to hurt themincluding lecturing them or being angry with them. (1) We are not going to talk about them. (2) We are not going to take their bitterness lightly. (3) We are going to love them every chance we get. (4) If we get an opportunity, we will help them. e. And even above all of that, we are not going to let their bitterness be a weight of guilt, condemnation, or shame to us. (1) We are going to accept the fact that our wrong has caused them hurt, because we gave them the seed of hurt. (2) However, their bitterness is on them. They planted the seed, nurtured it, and now are protecting it. (3) That’s their choice, but if God has forgiven the wrong, there is no condemnation! 3. The sad reality is when it comes to matters of earthly forgiveness, someone must always accept things they do not want to carry. a. On the earthly side of forgiveness, a wrong never goes away. On the heavenly side it does, but not on the earthly side. b. When we ask someone to forgive us, we are acknowledging they we have already forced them to accept a wrong they did not want to carry, but then we are asking them to accept us along with the wrong. c. Some people simply won’t do that. d. Se we will have to carry that. e. Considering we gave them the hurt to carry, we should be able to handle carrying the fact that they are hurt and are not able to forgive us. f. Accept it III. You must forget what you did in the past. A. Now we come back to our text \#Php 3:13\. Phi 3:13 forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, B. Forgetting your past is much easier said than done, 1. However, there are some things that a Christian just cant let himself think about. 2. In fact, the Bible is commanding us NOT to think about them. C. The Bible teaches that we must learn to control our minds. 2Cor 10:3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: 4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) 5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 6 And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled. 1. All believers must learn early in their Christian life that there are some thoughts that pop into their heads which cannot be allowed to stay. a. A man sees an immodestly clad lady. He must dismiss that thought immediately. b. If a man dwells on that thought, he has sinned. c. Hence, we learn how to focus our mind on something else. 2. That is the same tactic we must use when we feel guilt or remorse over our past actions. 3. If we do not, we have sinned. IV. You must reach ahead and press toward the future. Phil 3:14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. A. While there is nothing we can do about our past, there is much we can do about the future. 1. Many people are wasting their future fretting over their past! 2. If you keep doing what you are doing, you are going to have more guilt over wasting your life and hurting those you care about now. B. Instead, believers need to set goals for what they want to accomplish with the remainder of their lives. We all have things to feel guilty over, but we must not let Satan use that as a means to keep us down. Do what you can with whatever of your life that remains. Do something that you can present to Jesus with happiness.