Exegetical and Hermeneutical Commentary of Ephesians 4:32
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
32. be ] Lit., become; shew yourselves, in the actions and developments of life.
kind ] The Gr. word (noun or adj.) occurs in similar contexts, Luk 6:35; Rom 2:4; Rom 11:22 (“ goodness ”); 2Co 6:6; Gal 5:22; Col 3:12. Its primitive meaning is “ useful ”; hence “helpful,” and so “kindly.” It is the original of “easy” in Mat 11:30; the Lord’s “yoke” is a real yoke, but instinct with the lovingkindness of Him who imposes it.
tender-hearted ] The same Gr. word as in 1Pe 3:8 (A.V., “ pitiful ”). It occurs nowhere else in N.T. Kind-hearted may perhaps be a better rendering, as somewhat wider. The word carries the idea of the previous word a little more into life and detail.
forgiving one another ] Lit., “ forgiving yourselves.” Usage and common sense alike fully justify the rendering of A.V. and R.V. (which reads, somewhat needlessly, “ each other”). The “yourselves,” as a grammatical fact, indicates the solidarity of the body within which the reciprocity takes place; though this fine shade of meaning must not be exaggerated.
For a close parallel to the precept see Col 3:13. The holy duty of heartfelt forgiveness, entire and unreserved, is prominent in the Lord’s teaching; cp. especially the Lord’s Prayer (Mat 6:12; Luk 11:4); Mat 18:21, &c. No duty is more readily owned in the abstract, none more repugnant to the will in many a case in the concrete. But the law of Christ knows no exceptions, and grace is able to meet every demand for fulfilment. It is humbling and instructive to see here, as in the Lord’s Prayer, that the abiding need for mutual forgiveness is assumed.
even as ] The Divine pardon is at once supreme example and sacred motive. Cp. just below, ch. Eph 5:2.
God ] The Father, “Fount of Deity,” and as such styled often simply God where Christ is also and distinctively named ( Joh 17:3 ; 2Co 5:19; 2Co 13:13; Judges 21). The Son has also Deity, but as in the Stream, not in the Fountain. See Pearson, On the Creed, Art. 1.
for Christ’s sake ] Lit. and better, in Christ. The reason of pardon, and the process of it, are alike summed up “in Christ,” “in” Whom the Father reveals Himself as God of Peace: “in” Whom resides the immediate atoning reason of Peace; and “in” Whom, by grace and faith, are the human objects of pardon, “very members incorporate” of Him Who is eternally the Accepted One of the Father. Cp. Eph 1:7.
hath forgiven ] Lit., and better, did forgive; ideally and in covenant, “before the world was”; historically, when the Son was accepted and glorified as the perfect Propitiation, raised from the dead; in individual experience, when each person believed (Rom 5:1, &c.) It is important to observe how the Apostle bids them deal with Divine forgiveness not as a hope but as a fact. Cp. 1Jn 2:12.
you ] There is considerable, but not preponderating, evidence for a reading “us”. The question between the two readings is not of practical importance.
Fuente: The Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges
And be ye kind one to another – Benignant, mild, courteous, polite – chrestoi. 1Pe 3:8. Christianity produces true courteousness, or politeness. It does not make one rough, crabby, or sour; nor does it dispose its followers to violate the proper rules of social contact. The secret of true politeness is benevolence, or a desire to make others happy; and a Christian should be the most polite of people. There is no religion in a sour, misanthropic temper; none in rudeness, stiffness, and repulsiveness; none in violating the rules of good breeding. There is a hollow-hearted politeness, indeed, which the Christian is not to aim at or copy. His politeness is to be based on kindness; Col 3:12. His courtesy is to be the result of love, good-will, and a desire of the happiness of all others; and this will prompt to the kind of conduct that will render his conversation. with others agreeable and profitable.
Tender-hearted – Having a heart disposed to pity and compassion, and especially disposed to show kindness to the faults of erring brethren; for so the connection demands.
Forgiving one another – see the notes on Mat 6:12.
As God for Christs sake hath forgiven you – As God, on account of what Christ has suffered and done, has pardoned you. He has done it:
(1) freely – without merit on your part – when we were confessedly in the wrong.
(2) fully; he has forgiven every offence.
(3) Liberally; he has forgiven many offences, for our sins have been innumerable.
This is to be the rule which we are to observe in forgiving others. We are to do it freely, fully, liberally. The forgiveness is to be entire, cordial, constant. We are not to rake up old offences, and charge them again upon them; we are to treat them as though they had not offended, for so God treats us Learn:
(1) That the forgiveness of an offending brother is a duty which we are not at liberty to neglect.
(2) The peace and happiness of the church depend on it. All are liable to offend their brethren, as all are liable to offend God; all need forgiveness of one another, as we all need it of God.
(3) There is no danger of carrying it too far. Let the rule be observed, As God has forgiven you, so do you forgive others. Let a man recollect his own sins and follies; let him look over his life, and see how often he has offended God; let him remember that all has been forgiven; and then, fresh with this feeling, let him go and meet an offending brother, and say, My brother, I forgive you. I do it frankly, fully, wholly. So Christ has forgiven me; so I forgive you. The offence shall be no more remembered. It shall not be referred to in our contact to harrow up your feelings; it shall not diminish my love for you; it shall not prevent my uniting with you in doing good. Christ treats me, a poor sinner, as a friend; and so I will treat you.
Fuente: Albert Barnes’ Notes on the Bible
Verse 32. Be ye kind one to another] . Be kind and obliging to each other; study good breeding and gentleness of manners. A Christian cannot be a savage, and he need not be a boor. Never put any person to needless pain.
Tender-hearted] . Compassionate; having the bowels easily moved (as the word implies) to commiserate the state of the wretched and distressed.
Forgiving one another] Should you receive any injury from a brother, or from any man, be as ready to forgive him, on his repentance and acknowledgment, as God was, for Christ’s sake, to forgive you when you repented of your sins, and took refuge in his mercy.
1. THE exhortations given in this chapter, if properly attended to, have the most direct tendency to secure the peace of the individual, the comfort of every family, and the welfare and unity of every Christian society. That God never prohibits any thing that is useful to us, is an unshaken truth. And that he never commands what has not the most pointed relation to our present and eternal welfare, is not less so. How is it, then, that we do not glory in his commandments and rejoice in his prohibitions? If the gratification of our fleshly propensities could do us good, that gratification had never been forbidden. God plants thorns in the way that would lead us to death and perdition.
2. From the provision which God has made for the soul’s salvation, we may see the nature, and in some sense the extent, of the salvation provided. Much on this subject has been said in the preceding chapter, and the same subject is continued here. God requires that the Church shall be holy, so that it may be a proper habitation for himself; and he requires that each believer should be holy, and that he should, under the influences of his grace, arrive at the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ! Eph 4:13. This is astonishing; but God is able to make all grace abound towards us.
3. It is the will of God that Christians should be well instructed; that they should become wise and intelligent; and have their understandings well cultivated and improved. Sound learning is of great worth, even in religion; the wisest and best instructed Christians are the most steady, and may be the most useful. If a man be a child in knowledge, he is likely to be tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine; and often lies at the mercy of interested, designing men: the more knowledge he has, the more safe is his state. If our circumstances be such that we have few means of improvement, we should turn them to the best account. “Partial knowledge is better than total ignorance; he who cannot get all he may wish, must take heed to acquire all that he can.” If total ignorance be a bad and dangerous thing, every degree of knowledge lessens both the evil and the danger. It must never be forgotten that the Holy Scriptures themselves are capable of making men wise unto salvation, if read and studied with faith in Christ.
4. Union among the followers of Christ is strongly recommended. How can spiritual brethren fall out by the way? Have they not all one Father, all one Head? Do they not form one body, and are they not all members of each other? Would it not be monstrous to see the nails pulling out the eyes, the hands tearing off the flesh from the body, the teeth biting out the tongue, c., c.? And is it less so to see the members of a Christian society bite and devour each other, till they are consumed one of another? Every member of the mystical body of Christ should labour for the comfort and edification of the whole, and the honour of the Head. He that would live a quiet life, and keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, must be as backward to take offence as to give it. Would all act on this plan (and surely it is as rational as it is Christian) we should soon have glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace and good will among men.
5. A roughness of manners is to some unavoidable it is partly owing to the peculiar texture of their mind, and partly to their education. But there are others who glory in, and endeavour to cultivate, this ungentle disposition under this is often concealed a great degree of spiritual pride, and perhaps some malignity; for they think that this roughness gives them a right to say grating, harsh, and severe things. They should be taught another lesson; and if they will not demean themselves as they ought, they should be left to themselves, and no man should associate with them. They are not Christians, and they act beneath the character of men.
Fuente: Adam Clarke’s Commentary and Critical Notes on the Bible
And be ye kind; sweet, amiable, facile in words and conversation, Luk 6:35.
Tender-hearted; merciful, quickly moved to compassion: so we have bowels of mercies, Col 3:12.
Forgiving one another, even as God for Christs sake hath forgiven you; be placable, and ready to forgive, therein resembling God, who for Christs sake hath forgiven you more than you can forgive to one another.
Fuente: English Annotations on the Holy Bible by Matthew Poole
32. (Luk 7:42;Col 3:12).
even asGod hath shownHimself “kind, tender-hearted, and forgiving to you”; it isbut just that you in turn shall be so to your fellow men, who havenot erred against you in the degree that you have erred against God(Mt 18:33).
God for Christ’s sakeratheras Greek, “God in Christ” (2Co5:19). It is in Christ that God vouchsafes forgiveness tous. It cost God the death of His Son, as man, to forgive us. It costsus nothing to forgive our fellow man.
hath forgivenrather asGreek, “forgave you.” God has, once forall, forgiven sin in Christ, as a past historical fact.
Fuente: Jamieson, Fausset and Brown’s Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible
And be ye kind one to another,…. Good, affable, courteous; which appears in looks, words, and actions; by looking pleasantly on each other, speaking kindly to one another, and mutually doing every good office that lies in their way, and in their power:
tender hearted: which is opposed to a being hard hearted to them that are in distress, and close at hand to the needy; to cruelty and severity to such who are subject to them, or have injured them; and to a rigid and censorious spirit to them that are fallen:
forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you; whatever offences are given, or injuries done by the saints one to another, and so far as they are committed against them, they should forgive, and should pray to God for one another, that he would manifest his forgiveness of them, as committed against him; and this should be done in like manner as God forgives in Christ, and for his sake; that is, fully and freely, and from their hearts; and so as to forget the offences, and not to upbraid them with them hereafter; yea, they should forgive them before they repent, and without asking for it, and that for Christ’s sake, and because they are members of his: the Complutensian edition reads, “even as Christ hath forgiven us”: the Arabic version also reads us, and so some copies: the words may be rendered, “giving freely to one another, even as God in Christ has given freely to you”; saints should give freely to one another, for outward support, where it is needful; and should impart spiritual gifts and experience for inward comfort, where it is wanted, and as they have ability; and that from this consideration, that all they have, whether in temporals or spirituals, is freely given by God in Christ, and for his sake; with whom he freely gives them all things; in whom he has given them grace, and blessed them with all spiritual blessings; as peace, pardon, righteousness, and eternal life.
Fuente: John Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible
Be ye kind to one another ( ). Present middle imperative of , “keep on becoming kind (, used of God in Ro 2:4) toward one another.” See Col 3:12f.
Tenderhearted (). Late word (, ) once in Hippocrates, in LXX, here and 1Pe 3:8 in N.T.
Fuente: Robertson’s Word Pictures in the New Testament
Be ye [] . Lit., become, as following the putting away of anger, etc.
Kind [] . See on easy, Mt 11:30; gracious, 1Pe 2:3. Each other [] Lit., yourselves. See on Col 3:13. “Doing as a body for yourselves that which God did once for you all” (Alford).
Fuente: Vincent’s Word Studies in the New Testament
1) “And be ye kind one to another” (ginesthe de eis allelous chrestoi) “And become ye kind one toward another,” of like kind and faith, of your own fellowship, of sweet disposition, Col 3:12-13; 1Pe 3:8-9; or “Show yourselves to each other.”
2) “Tenderhearted” (eusplagchnoi) “Become ye tenderhearted,” There is no better rendering. Col 3:12, to show a feeling of mercy, compassionate care or understanding.
3) “Forgiving one another” (charizomenoi heautois) “Continually forgiving yourselves, or one another among you all,” as in turn each will have to do. The abiding need for mutual forgiveness of brother to brother is always at hand, Mat 6:14-15; Mar 11:25; Mat 18:21-22; Col 3:13.
4) “Even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you
(kathos kai ho theos en christo echarisato humin) “Just as God in Christ forgave you.” Let it be noted that divine forgiveness to the believer is a present fact; an hortative, appealing basis for the redeemed to forgive one another, so very necessary for sweet fellowship in the church, Mat 18:33-35; 1Jn 1:7; 1Jn 1:9. When God forgives, He forgives all, holds in remembrance against us No More; Heb 8:12; Heb 10:17; Psa 103:3; Eph 1:7; Col 1:14.
THE DEEP SEA
The ocean covers seventy-two per cent of the earth’s surface to an average depth of 11,500 feet. Its greatest depths are the Sigsbee’s Deep, 13,200 feet and Nares Deep, 28,200 feet, in the Atlantic; and the Japan Trough, 29,136 feet, Tonga Deep, 30,132 feet, and Nero Deep, 31,614 feet, off the island of Guam, in the Pacific. If Mount Everest were dropped into the Nero Deep, the water would still cover it by half a mile. If God graciously, for Christ’s sake, will pardon our sins and cast them into the depths of the sea (Mic 7:18-19), where even the- penetrating rays discovered by Milliken cannot reach them, then we may rejoice in our freedom.
–J.M., in the Missionary Worker
FORGIVE, HOW OFT?
How oft shalt thou forgive thy brother? That depends:
How often has thy Lord forgiven thee?
Thy debt was great: it could not greater be,
And yet thou art forgiven and set free!!
Wilt thou not then forgive thy brother? Who offends? Or, wilt thou thrust him in the darksome jail And cause him at thy ignominy to quail Until he pays thee all thou doest entail?
–Selected
Fuente: Garner-Howes Baptist Commentary
32. And be ye kind one to another. With bitterness he contrasts kindness, or gentleness of countenance, language, and manners. And as this virtue will never reign in us, unless attended by compassion, ( ουμπάθεια,) he recommends to us to be tender-hearted This will lead us not only to sympathize with the distresses of our brethren, as if they were our own, but to cultivate that true humanity which is affected by everything that happens to them, in the same manner as if we were in their situation. The contrary of this is the cruelty of those iron-hearted, barbarous men, by whom the sufferings of others are beheld without any concern whatever.
Forgiving one another. The Greek word here rendered forgiving, ( χαριζόμενοι ἑαυτοῖς,) is supposed by to mean beneficence. Erasmus, accordingly, renders it ( largientes ) bountiful. Though the word admits of that meaning, yet the context induces me to prefer the other view, that we should be ready to forgive It may sometimes happen, that men are kind and tender-hearted, and yet, when they receive improper treatment, do not so easily forgive injuries. That those whose kindness of heart in other respects disposes them to acts of humanity, may not fail in their duty through the ingratitude of men, he exhorts them to discover a readiness to lay aside resentment. To give his exhortation the greater weight, he holds out the example of God, who has forgiven to us, through Christ, far more than any mortal man can forgive to his brethren. (152)
(152) See Calvin’s Commentary on Philippians, Colossians, etc., page 213.
Fuente: Calvin’s Complete Commentary
(32) Kind . . . tenderhearted.Kindness is gentleness in bearing with wrong (Luk. 6:35; Rom. 11:22; Eph. 2:7; 1Pe. 2:3). Tenderheartedness (see 1Pe. 3:8) is more positive warmth of sympathy and love. Both issue in free forgiveness, after the model of the universal and unfailing forgiveness of God in Christ to usthe only model we dare to follow, suggested by our Saviour Himself in the Lords Prayer, and expressly enjoined in Luk. 6:36. It is a forgiveness which in us, as in Him, does not imply condonation of evil, or even the withholding of needful chastisement, but which absolutely ignores self, conquers mans selfish anger, and knows no limit, even up to seventy times seven.
Fuente: Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers (Old and New Testaments)
32. The and shows that this verse, together with Eph 5:1-2, is the completion of 31, as 30 is of 29. The therefore of the next verse, Eph 5:1, does not imply transition to a new paragraph.
Be ye Rather, become ye. Thisdoes not imply, as Alford and Braune (Schaff’s Lange) imply, any particular late transgression in these respects by the Ephesian Christians, but only that their transition from Gentilism to a perfect Christianity was a perfecting process, a becoming.
Kind The Greek word that so nearly resembled Christ (Chrestos) that pagans confounded it and Christians boasted it. Note on Act 18:2.
As God All in common had been forgiven, and could, therefore, mutually forgive. And in the two following verses St. Paul carries out into striking detail this following our divine model, God.
Fuente: Whedon’s Commentary on the Old and New Testaments
DISCOURSE: 2113
FORGIVENESS OF SINS
Eph 4:32. God, for Christs sake, hath forgiven you.
IF a minister of Christ is bound to preach the Gospel with all plainness and fidelity, he is no less bound to guard it against abuse, and to inculcate on the professors of it the strictest conformity to the commands of God. St. Paul was careful to insist upon even the minutest parts of practical piety; and to shew, that the Gospel not only required, but had a direct tendency to produce, holiness, both in heart and life. In truth, if our religion do not prevail to regulate our tempers, and to correct every evil disposition of the soul, it is not sincere; nor will it ever be approved of God in the day of judgment. Yet, in enforcing practical duties, we should take care to urge them upon right principles; not as a forced obedience to the law, in order to obtain acceptance with God, but as a willing effort to adorn the Gospel, through which we have already been accepted of him. A sense of Gods pardoning love should animate us, rather than a servile fear of his displeasure: and, whilst Gods mercy to us should operate as a motive to obey him, it should also serve us as a pattern for our own conduct towards our offending brethren, whom we should forgive, even as God, for Christs sake, hath forgiven us.
Now, it is a fact, that forgiveness is bestowed on men whilst they are yet in this world. And this truth I shall consider,
I.
As revealed in Scripture
The truth itself is fully declared
[God, in proclaiming his name to Moses, represented himself chiefly under the character of a sin-pardoning God: The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin [Note: Exo 34:6-7.]. And the whole of his dealings with his people, in every age, have borne testimony to him in this view, as a God delighting in mercy, and as accounting judgment a strange act, to which he was utterly averse. The whole of the Scripture declarations may be comprised in that saying of the prophet, Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon [Note: Isa 55:7.]. To cite the New Testament in confirmation of this truth is needless; seeing that, from one end of it to the other, it proclaims God as rich in mercy unto all that call upon him.]
The ground of all his mercies is also declared
[All the favour that God bears to man is for Christs sake. This was shewn from the first moment that his designs of mercy were revealed to fallen man. There can be no doubt but that sacrifices were ordained of God, for the purpose of shadowing forth that great sacrifice which should, in due time, be offered for the sins of the whole world. For Abel offered his sacrifice in faith [Note: Heb 11:4.]: but faith must have respect to the word of God; and, consequently, God must have previously made known to man the way in which alone a sinner should find acceptance with him. Indeed, though we are not expressly told that the animals, with the skins of which God clothed our first parents, were offered in sacrifice, I can scarcely doubt but that the whole mystery of the Gospel was revealed to them in that act; and they were taught, that through the sacrifice of Christ their iniquities should be forgiven, and that through the righteousness of Christ they should stand with acceptance before God. The whole of the Mosaic economy exhibited this truth in the most striking colours, in that no person could come to God but by sacrifice; and without shedding of blood there was no remission of sins [Note: Heb 9:22.]. On this subject the New Testament expatiates in every part; referring our reconciliation with God to the atoning blood of Christ [Note: 2Co 5:19.], and declaring that no man cometh unto the Father but by Christ [Note: Joh 14:6.]. The whole labour of the Apostles was to make this known: Be it known unto you, men and brethren, that through this man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins; and by him all that believe are justified from all things, from which ye could not be justified by the law of Moses [Note: Act 13:38-39.].]
In my text, the Apostle not only asserts this truth, but speaks of it,
II.
As experienced in the soul
Many will not admit that any one can know his sins forgiven. And I readily acknowledge, that it is a point on which a man may easily deceive his own soul, especially if he judge of it by any other criterion than that which God himself has proposed. If the life and conversation bear witness to us that we are the Lords, then may we safely indulge the hope that we are accepted of him.
God has, in former ages, given to men an assurance of his favour
[To Abel this was given by some visible sign, which excited the envy and wrath of his brother Cain [Note: Gen 4:4-5.]. David, on the very first acknowledgment of his transgression, was informed by Nathan that his sin was pardoned [Note: 2Sa 12:13.]; and he himself takes notice of it in a psalm of grateful acknowledgment: I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord: and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin [Note: Psa 32:5.]. To Hezekiah and Isaiah were similar assurances given [Note: Isa 6:7; Isa 38:17.]. And our blessed Lord not only repeatedly vouchsafed this blessing to those who waited on him, but maintained his right to do so against those who questioned his power and authority to pardon sin [Note: Mat 9:2-6. Luk 7:48-50.].]
At present, also, is the same blessing still vouchsafed to his faithful servants
[What can be meant by the Spirit of adoption that is given to the believing soul [Note: Rom 8:15]? What can be meant by the witness of the Spirit [Note: Rom 8:16.], the sealing of the Spirit [Note: Eph 1:13.], the earnest of the Spirit [Note: Eph 1:14.]? What can be meant by the love of God shed abroad in the heart by the Holy Ghost [Note: Rom 5:5.], if God never imparts to his people a sense of his pardoning love? I grant that if these divine sensations be not accompanied with a holy life, they are a mere illusion; but if the whole of our character and deportment be such as becomes the Gospel, then may we assure ourselves that these testimonies are from God, and that our names are indeed written in the book of life [Note: Luk 10:20.]. We may know that we have passed from death unto life [Note: 1Jn 3:14.]. Nor is this the privilege of the adult Christian only: for even the least in the family of Christ may possess it: as St. John says, I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for the sake of Christ [Note: 1Jn 2:12.]. And to the whole Ephesian Church it was proclaimed, God, for Christs sake, hath forgiven you.]
But it is not merely as comforting the soul that I insist on this, but chiefly and principally,
III.
As operating in the life
A sense of Gods pardoning love should operate on us generally
[Nothing but this will ever call forth our energies fully in the service of our God. It is the love of Christ that must constrain us: and that, duly apprehended, will cause us to live altogether unto Him who died for us, and rose again [Note: 2Co 5:15.] ]
More particularly should it produce in us a forgiving temper against our offending brethren
[A spirit of forbearance and forgiveness is insisted on by the inspired writers, as indispensable to the Christian character; insomuch, that a person who is not under its influence has no hope of obtaining mercy at the hands of God. The mercy which we ourselves have received for Christs sake, is proposed in my text as a powerful motive for the exercise of a forgiving disposition on our part, and as a pattern which, in the exercise of it, we should resemble. The same important truth is taught us in the parable of the unforgiving servant; who, when forgiven by his master ten thousand talents, seized a fellow-servant by the throat, and cast him into prison for the trifling debt of one hundred pence. For such merciless conduct his lord was justly incensed against him; as he will be against all who know not how to imitate the goodness of their God [Note: Mat 18:23-35. There was no proportion between the debts, the one being about three pounds, and the other nearly seven millions.]. It is on this principle that our Lord requires us to forgive an offending brother, not seven times in a day, but seventy times seven [Note: Mat 18:21-22.]. For, if we call to remembrance our own offences, and consider for a moment how great and multiplied they have been, we shall see, that no injury which a fellow-creature can do to us can bear any proportion to the offences which we have committed against God: and, consequently, that there should be no disposition in us but to render to our fellow-creatures according to what we ourselves have received at the hands of God.]
Application
1.
Be sensible of your obligations to the Lord Jesus Christ
[It is not for your own sake that God has forgiven you, but for his dear Sons sake. And if Christ had not interposed for you, to reconcile you unto God by his own death upon the cross, you would to all eternity have been in the condition of the fallen angels, who are receiving in hell the due recompence for their sins. Reflect, then, on your desert before God, and on the mercy you are receiving at his hands; and then direct your eyes to the Saviour, and give him the glory due unto his name. Of course, it is here supposed that you have deeply repented of your sins, and fled for refuge to Christ, as to the hope set before you: for, if you have not thus come to Christ, you are yet aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, and without any scriptural hope of salvation But if, indeed, you have believed in Christ, then should every faculty of your soul be called forth in grateful and continual praises for all that you now enjoy, and all that you hope for in a better world ]
2.
Endeavour to requite them in the way that he himself has enjoined
[Look, not to your conduct merely, but to the inmost dispositions of your souls. His love to you should be the model of your love to others. Let his image, then, be seen upon you. And, as men are known by the very form of the characters they write, so be ye epistles of Christ, known and read of all men [Note: 2Co 3:2-3.]. Let the same mind be in you as was in him [Note: Php 2:5.]; and, as he has loved you, see that ye also love one another [Note: Joh 13:34.].]
Fuente: Charles Simeon’s Horae Homileticae (Old and New Testaments)
REFLECTIONS
READER! pause over the very blessed things contained In this Chapter, in setting forth the oneness and unity in Christ, and his Church. And then say, what powerful persuasions are continually arising from thence, that there should be one heart, and one affection, in everything which can contribute to the spiritual union, among the people. If one God and Father, one Lord Jesus Christ, one Holy Ghost, one Church, one faith, one baptism of the Spirit; how can it be otherwise, while under the sweet and gracious influences of those principles, but that oneness of affection, like a golden chain, must link the whole together; and the whole Church of God, be as brethren, dwelling together in unity !
Blessed be the glorious Head of his Church, who hath sent down his ascension-gifts upon his Church, and thereby manifested the fullest assurance, that redemption-work is finished. God the Father hath given assurance unto all men, in that he hath raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand: and sent down, according to his own most sure promise, the Holy Ghost, And God the Holy Ghost hath graciously given his gifts, to every man, severally as he will ! Lord! let the whole manifestations, whether to Apostles, or Prophets, or Evangelists or Pastors, or Preachers, be accompanied with thy blessing! Let the work of the ministry, and the perfecting of the saints, and the edifying of the body of Christ, be carried on in the earth, until the whole Church be brought home to Jesus our perfection ! And do thou, blessed Spirit, for to thee the blessed work belongs, do thou put off the old man, in all the Lord’s redeemed ones, and put on the new man, which after God, is created in righteousness, and true holiness; for then shall we speak every man truth with his neighbor. Then shall we not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, whereby we are sealed unto the day of redemption; but walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us; and forgive one another, as God for Christ’s sake, hath forgiven us.
Fuente: Hawker’s Poor Man’s Commentary (Old and New Testaments)
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Ver. 32. And be ye kind ] . Sweet natured, facile, and fair conditioned; as Cranmer, whose gentleness in pardoning wrongs was such, as it grew to a common proverb, Do my Lord of Canterbury a displeasure, and then you may be sure to have him your friend while he liveth. He never raged so far with any of his household servants, as once to call the meanest of them varlet or knave in anger, much less to reprove a stranger with any reproachful word. Homo , nec minus , saith Tremelius of him, and much more in praise of his courtesy and piety.
Fuente: John Trapp’s Complete Commentary (Old and New Testaments)
32 .] but be ye (it is very difficult to mark the distinction between and in a translation. Become ye (Ellic.) is certainly too far off the time present; be ye , too immediately belonging to it. The difficulty is best seen in such a command as that in Joh 20:27 , ) towards one another kind (see note, Gal 5:22 ), tender-hearted (“ . profanis animosum, fortem, cordatum notat (see Eurip. Rhes. 192). At res ipsa docet h. l. esse, misericordem, benignum (ref.). In testament. xii. patriarch. p. 644, de Deo dicitur: , ibid. paulo post; piis . , ‘ salus et misericordia futura ’ dicitur, ibid. p. 641, .” Kypke. So also in the Man 1:6 , , . ; see also the parallel, Col 3:12 ), forgiving (see Luk 7:42 . Bengel notices that the three, , , , are opposed respectively to , , and ) each other (this idiom is found in classical Greek , Soph. Antig. 145. See Matthi, Gr. 489. See remarks on its especial propriety as distinguished from , on ref. Col.), even as (argument from His example whom we ought to resemble also from the mingled motives of justice and gratitude, as Mat 18:33 , , 😉 God in Christ (not ‘ for Christ’s sake ,’ as E. V., see 2Co 5:19-20 . God IN Christ, manifested in Him, in all He has done, and suffered: Christ is the sphere, the conditional element in which this act took place. Chrys. appears to take as ‘ at the cost of ,’ as (?) Jos 6:26 ; Mat 17:21 : for he says, , ) forgave you (not ‘ has forgiven ’ ( ), as E. V. It is the historical fact of Christ once for all putting away sin by the sacrifice of Himself, which is alluded to. So that we are not 1) to attempt to change the meaning into a future (“even as thou, Lord, for Christ’s sake, hast promised to forgive us.” Family Prayers by Bishop Blomfield, p. 43): nor 2) to render and , with Erasmus, ‘ largientes ’ and ‘ largitus est ,’ a meaning clearly at variance with the context).
Fuente: Henry Alford’s Greek Testament
Eph 4:32 . : but become ye kind one to another . The is omitted by [478] , k , 177, Clem., etc., while is substituted for it in [479] 1 [480] , 114. It is bracketed by WH and by Tr marg., and is omitted by [481] . But it is quite in place, having its combined connecting and opposing force; cf. on Eph 4:15 above. (not ), = “become ye,” or “show yourselves,” rather than “be ye”. The idea is that they had to abandon one mental condition and make their way, beginning there and then, into its opposite. , = kind, benignant , used of God (Luk 6:35 ; Rom 2:4 ; 1Pe 2:3 ), but here (its only occurrence in the Epistles) of : tender-hearted . There could be no better rendering. In Col 3:12 the same disposition is expressed by . It is only in Scripture and in eccles. Greek that the adject. conveys the idea of compassion ( Pray. of Manass., 7; Test. XII. Patr., Test. Zab. , 9). : forgiving each other . Partic. co-ordinate with the , , denoting one special form in which the kindness and tender-heartedness were to show themselves. means either to give graciously (Luk 7:21 ; Rom 8:32 ; Phi 2:9 , etc.), or to forgive (Luk 7:42 ; 2Co 2:7 ; 2Co 2:10 ; 2Co 12:13 ; Col 2:13 ; Col 3:13 ). Some adopt the former sense here (Vulg., donantes ; Eras., largientes ). But the second is more in harmony with the context. For the use of as = in classical Greek ( e.g. , Soph., Antig. , 145) see Khner, Greek Gram. , ii., p. 497; Jelf, Greek Gram. , 54, 2. In the NT the same use prevails (1Co 6:7 ; Col 3:13 ; Col 3:16 , etc.). The two forms are often conjoined in the same paragraph or sentence, both in classical Greek (Xen., Mem. , ii., 7, iii., 5, 16, etc.) and in the NT (as here, Col 3:13 ; 1Pe 4:8 , etc.). If there is any distinction between them, it is that the idea of fellowship or corporate unity is more prominent in ; cf. Blass, Gram. of N. T. Greek , pp. 169, 170; Light. and Ell. on Col 3:13 . : even as also God in Christ forgave you . points to the Divine example; places the two instances, the Divine and the human, over against each other; the reference and the comparison indicate the supreme reason or motive for our fulfilment of the injunction. is not “for Christ’s sake” (AV) or per Christum (Calv.), but “ in Christ” as in 2Co 5:19 ; the God who forgives being the God who manifests Himself and acts in the suffering, reconciling Christ. The aor. should be rendered did forgive with Wicl., Tynd., Gen., Bish., RV (not “hath forgiven” as in AV, etc.), the point being the forgiveness effected when Christ died. The reading , supported by [482] [483] [484] [485] , 37, Sah., Boh., Vulg., Goth., Eth., etc. is to be preferred on the whole to which appears in [486] [487] [488] , 17, 47, Syr., Arm., etc., L gives in text; TrWHRV give it in margin.
[478] Codex Vaticanus (sc. iv.), published in photographic facsimile in 1889 under the care of the Abbate Cozza-Luzi.
[479] Codex Claromontanus (sc. vi.), a Grco-Latin MS. at Paris, edited by Tischendorf in 1852.
[480] Codex Augiensis (sc. ix.), a Grco-Latin MS., at Trinity College, Cambridge, edited by Scrivener in 1859. Its Greek text is almost identical with that of G, and it is therefore not cited save where it differs from that MS. Its Latin version, f, presents the Vulgate text with some modifications.
[481] Codex Angelicus (sc. ix.), at Rome, collated by Tischendorf and others.
[482] Codex Sinaiticus (sc. iv.), now at St. Petersburg, published in facsimile type by its discoverer, Tischendorf, in 1862.
[483] Codex Alexandrinus (sc. v.), at the British Museum, published in photographic facsimile by Sir E. M. Thompson (1879).
[484] Codex Boernerianus (sc. ix.), a Grco-Latin MS., at Dresden, edited by Matthi in 1791. Written by an Irish scribe, it once formed part of the same volume as Codex Sangallensis ( ) of the Gospels. The Latin text, g, is based on the O.L. translation.
[485] Codex Porphyrianus (sc. ix.), at St. Petersburg, collated by Tischendorf. Its text is deficient for chap. Eph 2:13-16 .
[486] Codex Claromontanus (sc. vi.), a Grco-Latin MS. at Paris, edited by Tischendorf in 1852.
[487] Codex Mosquensis (sc. ix.), edited by Matthi in 1782.
[488] Codex Angelicus (sc. ix.), at Rome, collated by Tischendorf and others.
Fuente: The Expositors Greek Testament by Robertson
kind = gracious. Greek. chrestos. App-184.
tenderhearted = tenderly compassionate. Greek. eusplanchnos. Only here and 1Pe 3:8.
forgiving, forgiven. App-184.
one an other = each other.
for Christ’s sake = also in (Greek. en) Christ (App-98. IX).
hath forgiven = forgave.
Fuente: Companion Bible Notes, Appendices and Graphics
32.] but be ye (it is very difficult to mark the distinction between and in a translation. Become ye (Ellic.) is certainly too far off the time present; be ye, too immediately belonging to it. The difficulty is best seen in such a command as that in Joh 20:27, ) towards one another kind (see note, Gal 5:22), tender-hearted (. profanis animosum, fortem, cordatum notat (see Eurip. Rhes. 192). At res ipsa docet h. l. esse, misericordem, benignum (ref.). In testament. xii. patriarch. p. 644, de Deo dicitur: , ibid. paulo post; piis . , salus et misericordia futura dicitur, ibid. p. 641, . Kypke. So also in the Man 1:6, , . ; see also the parallel, Col 3:12), forgiving (see Luk 7:42. Bengel notices that the three, , , , are opposed respectively to , , and ) each other (this idiom is found in classical Greek- , Soph. Antig. 145. See Matthi, Gr. 489. See remarks on its especial propriety as distinguished from , on ref. Col.), even as (argument from His example whom we ought to resemble-also from the mingled motives of justice and gratitude, as Mat 18:33, , 😉 God in Christ (not for Christs sake, as E. V., see 2Co 5:19-20. God IN Christ, manifested in Him, in all He has done, and suffered: Christ is the sphere, the conditional element in which this act took place. Chrys. appears to take as at the cost of, as (?) Jos 6:26; Mat 17:21 : for he says, , ) forgave you (not has forgiven (), as E. V. It is the historical fact of Christ once for all putting away sin by the sacrifice of Himself, which is alluded to. So that we are not 1) to attempt to change the meaning into a future (even as thou, Lord, for Christs sake, hast promised to forgive us. Family Prayers by Bishop Blomfield, p. 43): nor 2) to render and , with Erasmus, largientes and largitus est, a meaning clearly at variance with the context).
Fuente: The Greek Testament
Eph 4:32. , has forgiven) He has shown Himself kind, merciful, forgiving.
Fuente: Gnomon of the New Testament
Eph 4:32
Eph 4:32
and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other,-Be kind and helpful to one another, tenderhearted, compassionate, full of mercy, not cherishing vindictive feelings, ready to forgive, as God has forgiven you. The kindness and mercy of God to man, his readiness and anxiety to forgive is held up as a model to the Christian. We should be ready and anxious to forgive as God is anxious to forgive
even as God also in Christ forgave you.-What lesson does this teach? How does God forgive? To forgive is to hold and treat an offender as though he were not guilty. A man cannot hold one as innocent until he repents of his sin, ceases to sin, and corrects his wrongs so far as possible. God cannot forgive sin in this sense so long as man persists in it. God never forgives sin until it is repented. But while man was a sinner God loved him and was so anxious for him to repent, cease to sin, that he might forgive him, that he gave his own Son to die to lead him to repentance. Man ought to hold himself in a forgiving spirit toward those who sin against him. He ought to be anxious for him to repent that he may forgive him. He should do good to him to bring him to repentance. Man ought at all times to cherish the forgiving spirit and be ready to do good to those who sin against him, that he may bring them to repentance.
Fuente: Old and New Testaments Restoration Commentary
kind: Rth 2:20, Psa 112:4, Psa 112:5, Psa 112:9, Pro 19:22, Isa 57:1, *marg. Luk 6:35, Act 28:2, Rom 12:10, 1Co 13:4, 2Co 2:10, 2Co 6:6, Col 3:12, Col 3:13, 2Pe 1:7
tenderhearted: Psa 145:9, Pro 12:10, Luk 1:78, Jam 5:11
forgiving: Eph 5:1, Gen 50:17, Gen 50:18, Mat 6:12, Mat 6:14, Mat 6:15, Mat 18:21-35, Mar 11:25, Mar 11:26, Luk 6:37, Luk 11:4, Luk 17:4, Rom 12:20, Rom 12:21, 2Co 2:7, 2Co 2:10, Col 3:12, Col 3:13, 1Pe 3:8, 1Pe 3:9, 1Jo 1:9, 1Jo 2:12
Reciprocal: Gen 45:24 – See that Exo 34:7 – forgiving Deu 15:15 – General Jdg 10:16 – his soul Psa 26:3 – For Psa 32:5 – forgavest Pro 19:11 – and Pro 20:3 – an Jer 38:12 – Put Mic 6:8 – love Mat 5:7 – are Mat 5:22 – Whosoever Mat 9:6 – that the Mat 18:22 – but Mat 18:33 – even Mar 9:50 – have peace Luk 7:42 – he Act 13:38 – that 1Co 1:10 – that ye 2Co 12:20 – debates Eph 4:26 – ye Phi 2:14 – disputings Col 1:14 – the Col 3:8 – anger 1Th 5:14 – be Phm 1:12 – thou 1Jo 4:11 – General
Fuente: The Treasury of Scripture Knowledge
(Eph 4:32.) -But become ye kind to one another. The has been excluded by Lachmann, on the authority of B, but rightly retained by Tischendorf. -But-passing to the contrast in his exhortation, he says-become ye kind to one another–full of benign courtesy, distinguished by mutual attachment, the bland and generous interchange of good deeds, and the earnest desire to confer reciprocal obligations. Col 3:12. Rudeness and censoriousness are opposed to this plain injunction. That there should be any allusion in to the sacred name , is wholly incredible.
-(1Pe 3:8; Col 3:12)-tender-hearted-the word being based upon the common and similar use of , H8171, in the Old Testament. The epithet is found, as in Hippocrates, with a literal sense. See Kypke. So far from being churlish or waspish, Christians are to be noted for their tenderness of heart. They are to be full of deep and mellow affection, in opposition to that wrath and anger which they are summoned to abandon. A rich and genial sympathy should ever characterize all their intercourse-
-forgiving one another. is used for . This use of the reflexive for the reciprocal pronoun has sometimes an emphatic significance-forgiving one another, you forgive yourselves-and occurs in Mar 10:26; Joh 12:19; Col 3:13; Col 3:16; and also among classical writers. Khner, 628, 3; Jelf, 654, 3; Bernhardy, p. 273; Matthiae, 489, 6. May not the use of also point, as Stier says, to that peculiar unity which subsists among Christ’s disciples? The meaning of the participle, which is contemporaneous with the previous verb, is plainly determined by the following clause. It does not mean being gracious or agreeable, as Bretschneider thinks, nor yet does it signify, as the Vulgate reads-donantes, but condonantes. Luk 7:42-43; 2Co 2:10; Col 2:13; Col 3:13. Instead of resentment and retaliation, railing and vindictive objurgation, Christians are to pardon offences-to forgive one another in reciprocal generosity. Faults will be committed and offences must come, but believers are to forgive them, are not to exaggerate them, but to cover them up from view, by throwing over them the mantle of universal charity. And the rule, measure, and motive of this universal forgiveness are stated in the last clause-
-as also God in Christ forgave you. Some MSS., as B2, D, E, K, L, the Syriac, and Theodoret read ; others, as A, F, G, I, and Chrysostom in his text, read . The latter appears the better reading, while the other may have been suggested by Eph 5:2. -as also-an example with an implied comparison. Klotz, ad Devar. 2.635. But the presentation of the example contains an argument. It is an example which Christians are bound to imitate. They were to forgive because God had forgiven them, and they were to forgive in resemblance of His procedure. In the exercise of Christian forgiveness, His authority was their rule, and His example their model. They were to obey and also to imitate, nay, their obedience consisted in imitation. is in Christ as the element or sphere, and signifies not on account of, or by means of Christ, but is God revealed in Christ, acting in Him, speaking in Him, and fulfilling His gracious purposes by Him as the one Mediator. 2Co 5:19. For the pardon of human guilt is no summary act of paternal regard, but sin was punished, government vindicated, and the moral interests of the universe were guarded by the atonement which Christ presented. The nature of that forgiveness which God in Christ confers on sinners, has been already illustrated under Eph 1:7. That pardon is full and free and irreversible-all sin forgiven; forgiven, not because we deserve it; forgiven every day of our lives; and, when once forgiven, never again to rise up and condemn us. Now, because God has pardoned us, we should be ready to pardon others. His example at once enjoins imitation, and furnishes the pattern. God is presented, as Theophylact says- . And thus the offences of others are to be pardoned by us fully, without retaining a grudge; and freely, without any exorbitant equivalent; forgiven not only seven times, but seventy and seven times; and when pardoned, they are not to be raked out of oblivion, and again made the theme of collision and quarrel. According to the imagery of our Lord’s parable, our sins toward God are weighty as talents, nay, weighty and numerous as ten thousand talents; while the offences of our fellows toward ourselves are trivial as pence, nay, as trivial and as few as a hundred pence. If the master forgive such an immense amount to the servant so far beneath Him, will not the forgiven servant be prompted, by the generous example, to absolve his own fellow-servant and equal from his smaller debt? Mat 18:23-35.
Fuente: Commentary on the Greek Text of Galatians, Ephesians, Colossians and Phillipians
Eph 4:32. Kind and tenderhearted does not require any compromise of the right, but it means that we should be considerate in our criticism of others in view of our own weaknesses. (See Gal 6:1.) Forgiving one another, even as. The point is that God has given us a divine example of the act of forgiveness, and we should be influenced by that example also to forgive our brethren.
Fuente: Combined Bible Commentary
Eph 4:32. But become ye. But marks the contrast with Eph 4:31; become points to a process, indicating that the preceding warning was needed.
Kind to one another; benignant, of a sweet disposition, the practical manifestation is implied; comp. Gal 5:22.
Tenderhearted; having sympathy, heartfelt compassion, etc.
Forgiving each other; not, one another, as before; possibly the change marks more strongly the fellowship of Christians. The participle shows how the kindness and sympathy should be manifested; opportunities to forgive will not be lacking.
Even as God in Christ forgave you (some authorities read us). The example is introduced as a motive, but even as is not = because. The verb points to a single crowning act of forgiveness in the past, and should not be translated: hath forgiven, or will forgive, a gloss which our feeble faith too frequently puts upon it. In Christ (not, for Christs sake) may be connected with God, or with forgave: either presents an important truth. God in Christ forgave us, and God forgave us in Christ, in giving Him to be a propitiation for our sins. The latter though accords better with the term used and with the emphasis Paul places on the atonement. So nearly all recent commentators. Kindness is well, compassion is better, but forgiveness is God-like. Forgiveness, however, is the result of an inward experience of Gods forgiving love in Christ. Not to believe in Christ is to exclude the strongest motive for pardoning those who injure us.
Fuente: A Popular Commentary on the New Testament
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
No! We can’t lie to one another, we can’t mean mouth one another, and now he wants us to be kind to one another – where will this madness end? Where did Paul gain his education, it certainly wasn’t meant for the two thousands!
Paul continues with the marks of a believer and they aren’t the marks of many Christians today. We are to be:
“Kind one to another” means simply to be kind. One meaning of the word is to be useful. Be useful to one another and be available for the use of others. Treat them as you like to be treated. A kind word, a kind deed, a kind smile – well not one, but that should be our lifestyle – kind words, kind acts, and kind facial features.
In our “If you see them signaling speed up” society this idea of kindness may be something we need to cultivate – something we have to consciously decide to do and then practice it daily for awhile till it becomes our way of life.
“Tenderhearted” is translated pitiful in 1Pe 3:8 “Finally, [be ye] all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, [be] pitiful, [be] courteous:” It can indicate “strong bowels” according to the Lexicons. Having guts would be our version of the word.
How does tenderhearted and having guts relate to one another is the question? In our “Men don’t cry.” mindset, it would take guts to be tenderhearted. I suspect it relates to the thought that to be tenderhearted and to put up with the emotions/feelings of helping those that are in need will take some strong character and fortitude.
Working with one that is on their death bed takes some real emotional investment and cost when the person finally dies. Working with someone in the throws of divorce will take time and emotion as well, and may well end in the gut wrenching end of divorce.
Being tenderhearted would be to be open to hurt with others, open to assist others, and open to share the cost with others. The women that provide a dinner for families at a funeral are tenderhearted. The people that visit the sick in the hospital are tenderhearted (unless they are doing it because they think they are supposed to do it.). The person that helps the lost child find their parent is tenderhearted.
If all believers began treating other believers with a tender heart we would have a church that is ministering to one another rather than a church full of bickering, confusion and turmoil.
“Forgiving one another” is a costly position to be in, but it is the place for every believer. Christ suggested forgiving seventy times seven times, thus this is an ongoing item of life. Any disrespect, any short word, any nasty look, and any wrong should be forgiven.
This isn’t all that easy to accomplish when there are so many wrongs that are never righted. Righting a wrong isn’t your purpose in life however your purpose is to forgive. God will deal with those that wrong us.
The forgiving of the believer is the same word used of God forgiving us, with the minor exception that when God forgave us it was a permanent one time act of forgiveness, while we are called upon to forgive on a continuing basis. God yet forgives us for our personal ongoing sin, but this forgiveness speaks to his salvation forgiveness.
The use of the same word speaks to the completeness of our forgiveness of one another – a hard saying, but one which we are called to accomplish in our lives.
“For Christ’s sake” indicates that because Christ did the work and because He loved us God forgave us. That is true in a sense, but God’s forgiveness was not based on this need/desire of Christ, but rather was founded squarely on His decrees, and His predestination of us. The term “for” and the term “sake” are general prepositions that can be translated a number of ways so the text does not really indicate what the English seems to. The ASV translates it this way: “and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you.” Darby and Young also follow a similar translation.
And to top it off we are to forgive as God has forgiven us – not forgive with a grudge to satisfy us till we get over it – complete – on the spot – forgiveness.
Fuente: Mr. D’s Notes on Selected New Testament Books by Stanley Derickson
4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, {19} even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
(19) An argument taken from the example of Christ, most grave and strong, both for the pardoning of those injuries which have been done to us by our greatest enemies, and much more for having consideration of the miserable, and using moderation and gentle behaviour towards all men.
Fuente: Geneva Bible Notes
We are kind when we say or do what is suitable or fitting to a need with a sweet and generous disposition. We are tenderhearted or compassionate when we feel affection for someone else. We are forgiving when we let offenses and grievances go, freely and graciously. The reason we should be forgiving that underlies all the commands in this verse is that God has forgiven us freely in Jesus Christ.
Demonstrating an attitude of constant forgiveness will greatly enrich a marriage. It enables us to develop transparency and oneness with our mate. To resolve conflict there must be a willingness to forgive. We need to seek forgiveness when we wrong our mate and to communicate understanding to that person. Try restating how your mate feels to him or her and ask for forgiveness. Say, "I was wrong; I’m sorry; will you forgive me?" It is important to be specific in this process.