Exegetical and Hermeneutical Commentary of Colossians 3:18

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

18 4:1. Universal Holiness: relative duties

18. Wives ] Cp. 1Pe 3:1-6 and the close parallel, with its large expansion, Eph 5:22, &c.

The Christian Home, the masterpiece of living Christianity, is now presented as the special field for the practice of the holy principles just stated.

submit yourselves ] with the noble loyalty of “the weaker vessel” to the husband who, in the order of nature (i.e. of God its Orderer), is the leader in the marriage union. No submission as of a vassal is meant; the man is (1Pe 3:7) to “ give honour to the wife.” Her relative attitude is to be that of every Christian to every other (Eph 5:21; 1Pe 5:5), the attitude of unselfish service, only emphasized by the special fact of man’s ordained leadership.

own ] The word is probably to be omitted; a natural and obvious gloss upon the text. Cp. 1Co 7:2 for the apostolic prohibition of polygamy.

fit in the Lord ] The order of nature is thus affirmed by grace. Wifely loyalty is not only a human but a Christian law; it has relation to union with Christ. See at large Eph 5:22-24.

“ Is fit ” : lit., “ was fit.” Lightfoot compares our past tense in “ I ought,” and says that in such phrases is perhaps implied an essential a priori obligation.

Fuente: The Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges

Wives, submit yourselves … – Notes on the parallel passage in Eph 5:21-24.

Fuente: Albert Barnes’ Notes on the Bible

Col 3:18

Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands.

The Christian family

1. In the family, Christianity has signally displayed its power of refining, ennobling and sanctifying earthly relationships. Domestic life as seen in Christian homes is a purely Christian creation, and would have been a new revelation at Colossae as it is in many a mission field to-day.

2. Domestic happiness and family Christianity are made up of very homely elements. One duty is prescribed here for one member of each of the three family groups, and varying forms of another for the other. The wife, child, servant, are to obey; the husband to love, the father to show his love in gentle considerateness, the master to yield his servants their dues. Like some perfume distilled from common flowers which grow on every bank, the domestic piety which makes home a house of God and a gate of heaven, is prepared from these two simples–obedience and love.

I. The reciprocal duties of wives and husbands.

1. The Christian ideal of the wifes duty has for its centre subjection.

(1) Some will smile at that as a survival of a barbarous theory of marriage; but turn to Eph 5:22-33, and you will find that marriage is regarded from a high and sacred point of view. To Paul all earthly relationships were moulded after patterns of things in the heavens. What the Churchs subjection to Christ is, such is the wifes to the husband, a subjection of which love is the very soul. As in the loving obedience of the believing soul to Christ, the wife submits not because she has found a master, but because her heart has found its rest. Thus everything harsh and degrading disappears. It is a joy to serve where the heart is engaged, and that is eminently true of the feminine nature. For its full satisfaction a womans heart needs to look up, and to serve where it loves. In this nobler, purer, more unselfish love, as much as in physicial constitution, is laid the foundation of the Divine ideal of marriage.

(2) The subjection is limited by We must obey God rather than man, and there are cases in which on the principle of Tools to those who can use them, the rule falls to the wife as the stronger character. Popular sarcasm, however, shows this to be contrary to the true ideal. And then womans intellectual and moral qualities render it wise for a man to take her counsel. But all such considerations are consistent with apostolic teaching.

2. What of the husbands duty? He is to love.

(1) Because he loves he is not to be harsh. He is to be as patient and self-sacrificing as Christ, that he may bless and help. That solemn example lifts the whole emotion and carries the lesson that mans love is to evoke the womans subjection, just as in the heavenly pattern Christs love melts and moves human wills to glad obedience which is liberty.

(2) Where there is such love there will be no tenacious adherence to rights. Love uttering a wish speaks music to love listening, and love obeying the wish is free and a queen.

3. The young are to remember that the nobleness and heart repose of their whole lives may be made or marred by marriage, and to take heed where they fix their affections. If a man and woman love and marry in the Lord, He will be in the midst, a third who will make them one, and that threefold cord will not be quickly broken.

II. The reciprocal duties of children and parents–Obedience and gentle authority.

1. The injunction to children is laconic and universal.

(1) The only limitation is when Gods command is contradicted.

(2) The enforcement is that it is well pleasing in the Lord. To all who can appreciate the beauty of goodness is filial obedience beautiful. In Ephesians it is regarded as right appealing to the natural conscience.

(3) The idea of a fathers power and a childs obedience has been much softened by Christianity, but rather from the greater prominence given to love, than from the limitation given to obedience. There is now great laxity in reaction from the tee great severity of past times. Many causes lead to this. Children are better educated than their parents, and a sense of inferiority often makes a parent hesitate to command, as well as a misplaced tenderness makes him hesitate to forbid. But it is unkind to place on young shoulders the weight of too much liberty. Consult your children less, command them more.

(4) And as to children, here is the one thing God would have you do, and which is moreover pleasing to those whose approbation is worth having, and will save many a sting of conscience now which may tingle again when all too late. Remember Dr. Johnson standing bareheaded in Lichfield market-place, in remorseful remembrance of boyish disobedience.

2. The law for parents is addressed to fathers, partly because mothers have less need of it and partly because fathers are the head of the household.

(1).How do parents provoke their children? By unreasonable commands, by capricious jerks at the bridle alternating with capricious dropping of the reins altogether, ungovernable tempers, frequent rebukes and sparing praise. And what follows? Wrath, as Ephesians has it, and then apathy. I cannot please, whatever I do, leads to a rankling sense of unjustice and then to recklessness, it is useless to try. Pauls theory of the training of children is connected with his central doctrine, that love is the life of service, and faith the parent of righteousness. When a child loves and trusts, he will obey. Childrens obedience must be fed on love and praise.

(2) So parents are to let the sunshine of their smile ripen their childrens love to fruit of obedience, and remember that frost in spring scatters the blossoms on the grass. Many a father drives his child into evil by keeping him at a distance. He should make his boy a companion and a playmate, and try to keep him nearer to himself than to any one else; then his opinions will be an oracle, and his lightest wish a law.

(3) Parents would do well, too, to remember Eph 6:4, and Deu 6:6-7, and not relegate religious instruction to others. Children drift away from a faith which their parents do not care enough about to teach.

III. The reciprocal duties of masters and servants. Obedience and justice.

1. These servants are slaves. Paul recognized that sum of all villainies, but his gospel had principles which cut up slavery by the roots. Christ and His apostles did not war against it nor against any existing institutions–First make the tree good, etc. Mould men, and the men will mould institutions. And so slavery has died in all Christian lands now. But the principles laid down here are applicable to all forms of service.

2. Note the extent of the servants obedience.

(1) In all things, the limit again being Gods command, but inward completeness is insisted on, not with eye service, etc. We have a proverb about the worth of the masters eye, which bears witness that the same fault clings to hired service, and thus darkens into theft. All scamped work, all productions which are got up to look better than they are, all fussy parade of diligence when under inspection and slackness afterwards are transfixed here, But in singleness of heart, etc., with undivided motive, which is the antithesis and cure for eye service–and fearing God, which is opposed to pleasing men.

(2) Then follows the positive injunction, lifting obedience to an earthly master into a religious duty, and transfiguring the slaves lot. This evokes new powers, and renewed consecration.

(3) The stimulus of a great hope is added. Whatever their earthly masters failed to give them, if they are Christs they will be treated as sons and receive the sons portion. Christ remains in no mans debt.

(4) The last word is a warning against neglect of duty. The wrongdoer will receive retribution, but it does not warrant an inferiors breach of moral law. Two blacks do not make a white–a lesson to oppressed peoples and their champions.

3. Masters are bidden to give their slaves what is equitable. A start ling injunction respecting those who were chattels and not persons.

(1) The apostle does not define what is just and equal. The main thing was to drive home the conviction that there are duties owing to slaves and employes. We are far from: a satisfactory discharge of these yet, but everybody admits the principle–and we have mainly to thank Christianity for that. Paul does not say, Give them what is kind and patronizing. Charity likes to come in and supplies wants which would never have been felt had there been equity.

(2) The duty of masters is enforced by the fact that they have a Master who is to be their pattern. Give your servants what you expect and need to get from Christ. (A. Maclaren, D. D.)

Husbands and wives

The duty of the latter is put first, because obedience is more difficult and distasteful than love, and because the love of the husband largely depends on the subjection of the wife.

I. As to wives.

1. The proposition that wives ought to be subject to their husbands.

(1) In general this subjection is a Divine disposition whereby the more imperfect are subordinate to the more perfect, in order to their government and preservation. Without this, neither natural affairs, nor political societies, nor even the world could subsist. From whence follow–

(a) The author of creatures would not have them confounded through disorder (1Co 14:13).

(b) It is not the mark of a base but of a generous mind to be subject to his superiors. Every man in proportion to his depravity bears a ruler with rude impatience.

(c) Those who shake off the yoke of due subjection are blind to their own interests. Obedience is the mother of prosperity.

(2) In particular this subjection consists in–

(a) The internal act of the heart and the acknowledgment of the mind (Eph 5:33; 1Pe 3:6).

(b) Conformity of manners and affections. As a mirror adorned with gems and skilfully polished is nothing unless it express a true likeness of the person looking into it; so a wife, however endowed and beautiful, is nothing un less she render herself conformable to the manners of her husband (1Co 7:37).

(c) Performance of wifely duties–conjugal love (Gen 2:18; Tit 2:4; Pro 31:12)–care of the children and the house (Tit 2:4-5). The Egyptian women had no shoes, that they might learn to keep at home.

(3) The reasons for this subjection.

(a) The Divine appointment (Gen 3:16).

(b) The natural imperfection of the woman (1Pe 3:7).

(c) The order of creation. Woman was created after, out of, and for man (1Co 11:8-9).

(d) The transgression of the woman (1Ti 2:14).

(2) The disadvantage of refusing this subjection. The violation of natural order every where is productive of disastrous disturbances.

(4) The hindrances to this subjection.

(a) Pride, which makes the wife disesteem her husband as unworthy to command her. To obviate this evil let her remember that her husbands dignity and her own inferiority are not to be estimated from virtues, figure, nobility, or riches; but from Divine ordination; that pride is of the devil, who, as he incited Eve, instills the same poison into her daughters.

(b) Defect of love. She studies not to please her husband who is displeased with him. This evil will be avoided if parents would not compel their daughters to odious nuptials (Gen 24:57-58); if women would beware of marrying for honour and riches; and if after marriage they would avoid all occasions of offence.

(c) Foolish vanities, such as an immoderate desire of appearing in public, extravagance in dress, etc.

2. The limitation of the proposition–As it is fit in the Lord; as far as God permits, and as far as it is befitting women who are in the Lord. The occasion of this arose from the circumstance that many believing women were united to unbelieving husbands. If their husbands should strive to compel them to idolatrous worship they must resist (Act 5:29). The foundation for this is that all authority is derived from God and subordinate to Him. From whence it follows–

(1) That thus wives render a sub mission grateful to God Himself.

(2) That the wife is bound to be a companion of her husband in everything but sin.

(3) That it is impious to choose a husband who is likely to persuade his wife to do such things as are not fit in the Lord.

II. As to husbands.

1. The precept enjoining love.

(1) The affection of love itself is required. This gives the heart to the thing loved, which is the most precious gift, and that in which all else is given.

(2) This affection will express itself

(a) In living at home, delighted with the wifes presence and company, and not seeking others in preference (Pro 5:18-19). This effect we see in Christs love toward His Church (Mat 28:20).

(b) In direction and instruction in all those things which relate to this life and the next (1Co 14:35), because both are partners in earthly things and heirs together of the grace of life (1Pe 3:7).

(c) Provision of all necessary things, in imitation of Christs care of His Church. He who neglects this, subjects himself to heavy censure (1Ti 5:8).

(3) In order to perform this duty let a man beware of marrying–

(a) By the eyes alone, i.e., choosing for mere external beauty. Love which rests on such an unstable foundation cannot be firm and constant.

(b) By the fingers, i.e., choosing for money. The man who does this seeks not a wife but a money porter, and after he has laid his claws on the money, he regards not of a straw the porter.

2. The injunction forbidding bitterness. Plutarch says, They who sacrificed at the rites of Juno, took out the gall of the victim, signifying by the ceremony that it was not fit that bile and bitterness should enter into the married state. The bitterness here prohibited shows itself–

(1) In the affections. Without saying or doing anything injurious a husband embittered against his wife can make her life exceedingly bitter. That this is to be avoided we gather

(a) from the precept itself, which admits of no exception. As a wife is bound to obey her husband in spite of his many imperfections, so the husband is bound to love the wife notwithstanding hers.

(b) From the example of Christ (Eph 5:29).

(2) In words. A tender mind is wounded no less by bitter words, than the body is by sharp weapons.

(3) In actions. God gave not Eve to Adam as a slave but as a companion and helpmeet. This tyranny is exercised

(a) when the wife is removed from domestic rule and degraded to the rank of a maid, even perhaps subjected to one of them, (Pro 31:27; Tit 2:5).

(b) When things pertaining to her dignity or necessity are denied.

(c) When she is treated with cruelty. (Bp. Davenant.)

Relative duties–husbands and wives

The root of all society is the family. (Gen 2:18; Psa 68:6). The real strength and virtue of a nation consist to a great extent in the purity of family ties; and in this, more than anything else socially, has the religion of Christ blessed the world. Of the domestic institution, conjugal life and love are the very element and fountain (Eph 5:25-33; Tit 2:4-5; 1Pe 3:1-7).

I. The duty of the wife.

1. The subjection is not that of a drudge or slave, to be ruled by force. It means that in the home, as everywhere else, order is heavens first law. If there is to be peace and happiness in the home there must not be two co-ordinate authorities. The husband is to be the house-band–the strength and bond of the family. The submission required of a wife involves–

(1) A sense of dependence. In many things this is unavoidable, she being the weaker vessel, and created in a condition of dependence (1Co 11:8-9). When she tried to lead her husband and undertook to govern, the issue was disastrous for both. This dependence is touchingly illustrated in the social sympathy for, and Divine promises to widows, because she is deprived of her earthly prop and stay.

(2) A feeling of deference. Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. Many husbands, it may be said, do not deserve this, and the wife may sometimes take advantage of a husbands weakness for his good. If a woman has married a man she cannot respect, she may have herself to blame; but his weakness does not exempt her from the duty of honouring him as her husband. If he abdicate hie position, she may be obliged to take the lead, yet the true wife will strive to do it in such a way as not to wound him.

(3) A spirit of devotedness. It is beautiful to see a loving wife clinging hopefully and prayerfully to a bad husband. Just as forbidding is it to hear a wife complaining all round the parish. A good wife will care for her husbands comfort and character as her own; and when he is harassed will do her best to make him forget his anxieties (Pro 31:10-12).

2. The reason for this injunction–as it is fit in the Lord. It is God s will that it should be so, and also the dictate of common sense. Where there are two wills seeking for mastery there will be wrangling and bitterness. But the wife is not a slave to do the bidding of a taskmaster, losing in a mechanical obedience the sense of responsibility. No! she may not do wrong to please her husband. Her own relation to God will determine the standard of right and limit of duty. How much has a Christian wife in her power I By submission she may gain conquests for Christ, and commend the Lord whom she supremely loves.

II. The duty of the husband. The sum and fountain of all other duties is love.

1. Positively–love your wives.

1. Paul does not say as the complement of submission, Rule your wives wisely, keep them in their position. The rule of love is sweet and easily borne. Either side is, perhaps, apt to forget its own special obligation: the wife is not so likely to forget her love as her subjection, nor the husband his authority as his love. But he will most surely and fully receive the acknowledgment due to him who truly loves; and she will be most tenderly loved who shows most heartily deference. Let the love which won the youthful bride be continued and augmented.

2. This love must be manifested. It is too often taken as a matter of course. Contact with the world often deadens the susceptibilities, and love is left to care for itself and struggle for a precarious existence. But the wife craves for love, and a tone of tenderness will make her soul brighten for days amid the manifold cares of home. It is one thing to be silly in the expression of a rapturous fondness and quite another to be manly in the exhibition of a sincere affection. If a man is not ashamed of being married he ought not to be ashamed of showing his love, in, e.g., preferring his wifes society, in seeking to please her, in taking an interest in those things which specially occupy her thought. And she has a right to expect it amidst the monotony of her household cares.

2. Negatively–Be not bitter against them. It is possible to have a general sentiment of affection and yet to be bitter. This spirit is grossly wrong in a Christian man to the woman who has given up all for him. It may be exhibited in surly silence as well as in sharp words. There will be need of forbearance on both sides. Some homes, alas, are in a state of chronic conflict. He commands imperiously; she resists proudly. Some men are pleasant and genial abroad, but churlish at home. Marriage is left us as a wreck saved from Paradise; according to our spirit and conduct it will be either a reminder of paradise lost, or a help towards paradise regained. (J. Spence, D. D.)

Wife: meaning of the word

It literally means a weaver. The wife is the person who weaves. Before our great factories arose, one of the great employments in every house was the fabrication of clothing; every family made its own. The wool was spun into thread by the girls, who were therefore called spinsters; the thread was woven by their mother, who was accordingly called the weaver or the wife; and another remnant of this old truth we discover in the word heirloom, applied to any old piece of furniture which has come down to us from our ancestors, and which, though it may be a chair or bed, shows that a loom was once the most important piece of furniture in the house. Thus in the word wife is wrapped up a hint of earnest, indoor, stay-at-home occupations, as being fitted for her who bears this name.

Qualities of a wife

A good wife should be like three things; which three things she should not be like.

1. She should be like a snail, to keep within her own house; but she should not be like the snail to carry all she has upon her back.

2. She should be like an echo, to speak when spoken to; but she should not be like an echo, always to have the last word.

3. She should be like a town clock, always to keep time and regularity; but she should not be like a town clock, speak so loud that all the town may hear her. (Old writer.)

The value of submissiveness in wives

A pleasure-loving husband boasted of the good temper of his wife; and a wager was laid that she would rise at midnight and give the company a supper with perfect cheerfulness. It was put to the test, and the boast of the husband was: found true. One of the company thus addressed the lady, Madam, your civility fills us with surprise. Our unreasonable visit is in consequence of a wager which we have certainly lost. As you cannot approve of our conduct, give me leave to ask what can possibly induce you to behave with so much kindness to us? Sir, she replied, When I married, my husband and myself were both unconverted. It has pleased God to call me out of that dangerous condition. My husband continues in it. I tremble for his future, and therefore try to make his: present as comfortable as possible. I thank you for the warning, my dear, said her husband, by the grace of God I will change my conduct. From that time he became another man. (E. Foster.)

A considerate wife

When Mr. Disraeli retired from office he was offered an earldom. He declined it with the intimation that if there was any reward thought to be deserved, he wished it to be conferred upon his wife, to whom he attributed all his success. His wife therefore became Viscountess Beaconsfield. On the day, long before this, when he was to unfold the Budget, he entered the carriage absorbed in thought, his wife quietly taking her seat beside him. In getting in, her finger was caught by the door, which shutting upon it held it so fast that she could not withdraw it. Fearful of driving figures and arguments from his head, she uttered no cry nor made any movement until they reached the House; nor did Disraeli hear of it till long after. All that evening the faithful wife sat in the gallery, that her husbands quick eye might not miss her from it, bearing her pain like a martyr, and like a woman who loves. (E. Foster.)

Husband: meaning of the word

It means literally the band of the house, the support of it, the person who keeps it together, as a band keeps together a sheaf of corn. There are many married men who are not husbands, because they are not bands of the house. In many cases the wife is the husband, who by her prudence and economy keeps the house together. The man who by his dissolute habits strips his house of all comfort, is only a husband in a legal sense. He is not a houseband; instead of keeping things together he scatters them. (E. Foster.)

Husbands love

Tiberius Gracchus, the Roman, finding two snakes in his bed, and consulting with the soothsayers, was told that one of them must be killed; yet, if he killed the male, he himself would die shortly; if the female, his wife would die. His love to his wife, Cornelia, was so great, that he killed the male, saith Plutarch, and died quickly. (G. Swinnock, M. A.)

A wife not loved too much

Rowland Hill often felt much grieved at the false reports which were circulated of many of his sayings, especially those respecting his publicly mentioning Mrs. Bill. His attentions to her till the close of life were of the most gentlemanly and affectionate kind. The high view he entertained of her may be seen from the following fact:—A friend having informed Mr. Hill of the sudden death of a lady, the wife of a minister, remarked, I am afraid our dear minister loved his wife too well, and the Lord in wisdom has removed her. What, Air? replied Mr. Hill, with the deepest feeling, can a man love a good wife too much? Impossible, sir, unless he can love her better than Christ loves the Church. (C. H. Spurgeon.)

Husbands love reciprocated

Xenophon relates, that when Cyrus had taken captive a young prince of Armenia, together with his beautiful and blooming wife, of whom he was remarkably fond, they were brought before the tribunal of Cyrus to receive their sentence. The warrior inquired of the prince what he would give to be reinstated in his kingdom, and he replied that he valued his crown and his liberty at a very low rate; but if the noble conqueror would restore his beloved wife to her former dignity and possessions, he would willingly pay his life for the purchase. The prisoners were dismissed, to enjoy their freedom and former honours; and each was lavish in praises of the conqueror. And you, said the prince, addressing his wife, what think you of Cyrus? I did not observe him, she replied. Not observe him! exclaimed her husband; upon whom, then, was your attention fixed? Upon that dear and generous man, she replied, who declared his readiness to purchase my liberty at the expense of his life. (Christian Age.)

The influence of a wife

The tear of a loving girl, says an old book, is like a dewdrop on a rose; but one on the cheek of a wife is a drop of poison to her husband. Try to appear cheerful and contented, and your husband will be so, and when you have made him happy, you will become so, not in appearance but in reality. The skill required is not so great. Nothing flatters a man so much as the happiness of his wife: he is always proud of himself as the source of it. (J. Moser.)

A wifes influence

As I was conversing with a pious old man, I inquired what were the means of his conversion. For a moment he paused. I perceived I had touched a tender string. Tears gushed from his eyes, while, with deep emotion, he replied, My wife was brought to God some years before myself. I persecuted and abused her because of her religion. She, however, returned nothing but kindness, constantly manifesting an anxiety to promote my comfort and happiness; and it was her amiable conduct, when suffering ill treatment from me, that first sent the arrows of conviction to my soul. (N. Y. Observer.)

Fuente: Biblical Illustrator Edited by Joseph S. Exell

Verse 18. Wives, submit yourselves] Having done with general directions, the apostle comes to particular duties, which are commonly called relative; because they only belong to persons in certain situations; and are not incumbent on all. No woman has the duty of a wife to perform but she who is one, and no man has the duty of a husband to perform but he who is married.

The directions here to wives, husbands, children, parents, servants, and masters, are so exactly the same in substance with those in Eph 5:22-33(note); Eph 6:1-9 (note), that there is no need to repeat what has been said on those passages; and to the notes there the reader is requested to refer.

As it is fit in the Lord.] God commands it; and it is both proper and decent.

Fuente: Adam Clarke’s Commentary and Critical Notes on the Bible

The apostle, entering upon an exhortation to relative duties, begins first with that which wives owe to their husbands to whom they are married, by reason this relation is the first in nature, and the fountain whence the rest do flow, Gen 2:22; Psa 127:3; 128:3; Pro 5:15,16. That which he requires is self-submission in every thing, see Eph 5:22, expressing a subjection with reverence, Eph 5:24,33; 1Pe 3:1. The God of order made the woman inferior, Gen 2:18,22; 3:16; 1Co 11:7-9; 1Ti 2:13; Tit 2:5; yet her submission is not to be servile, as that of a handmaid, but conjugal, as of a meet companion.

As it is fit in the Lord; suitable to Gods institution, in a becoming manner, agreeable to the mind of Christ, Act 5:29; 1Pe 3:7.

Fuente: English Annotations on the Holy Bible by Matthew Poole

18. unto your own husbandsTheoldest manuscripts omit “own,” which crept in from Eph5:22.

as it is fit in theLordGreek, “was fit,” implying thatthere was at Colosse some degree of failure in fulfilling this duty,”as it was your duty to have done as disciples of the Lord.”

Fuente: Jamieson, Fausset and Brown’s Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,…. The apostle proceeds from those duties which related to them as church members one towards another, for their mutual good and edification, and the glory of God, to such as concerned them in their own houses and families, as in a natural relation to each other; as husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and servants; showing hereby, that the Gospel does not at all break in upon, but establishes the duties of common and civil life. Concerning the duty wives to their husbands, here exhorted to, [See comments on Eph 5:22]. The reason urging to a regard to it is,

as it is fit in the Lord; that is, Christ, as the Syriac version reads it. Subjection of wives to their own husbands is “fit” and proper in its own nature, by reason of the original creation of man, and of the woman from him: man was made first, and then the woman; and the woman was made out of the man, out of one of his ribs; and so, though not to be trampled under his feet, but to be by his side, and an help meet to him, yet not to be head, or to rule over him. Moreover, the woman was made for the man, and not the man for the woman; add to this, that the woman was in the transgression, and the means of the fall of man, which gave a fresh reason for, and made the obligation to subjection to him the stronger: and it is also a “decent” and becoming thing for wives to be subject to their husbands; for as it is giving honour to them, it is a real ornament to themselves, and is one of those good works which women professing godliness should adorn themselves with; and makes more comely and beautiful than broidered hair; gold, pearls, or costly array, yea, than their natural favour and beauty: it is what is fitting “in the Lord”: it is what he requires, not only what the law of God requires, see 1Co 14:34 and which was enjoined originally, see Ge 3:16 and was charged as a duty under the legal dispensation; but is what is commanded by Christ under the Gospel dispensation, and is to be observed by all those that are “in” him, that profess to be new creatures, converted persons, that so the word of God be not blasphemed, and the enemy have no occasion to reproach, see Tit 2:5 though this phrase may also be considered as a restriction and limitation of this subjection; that though it reaches to all things, yet only to such as are agreeable to the will of the Lord, and not contrary to the Gospel of Christ; for in these they are not to be subject to them, but to Christ the Lord; but in all other things they are, even as the church is subject to Christ: and when this is the case, such subjection is regarded by Christ as if it was done to himself; and indeed his honour and glory should be the governing view in it; see Eph 5:22.

Fuente: John Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible

Relative Duties.

A. D. 62.

      18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.   19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.   20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.   21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.   22 Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God:   23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;   24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.   25 But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.

      The apostle concludes the chapter with exhortations to relative duties, as before in the epistle to the Ephesians. The epistles which are most taken up in displaying the glory of divine grace, and magnifying the Lord Jesus, are the most particular and distinct in pressing the duties of the several relations. We must never separate the privileges and duties of the gospel religion.

      I. He begins with the duties of wives and husbands (v. 18): Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Submission is the duty of wives, hypotassesthe. It is the same word which is used to express our duty to magistrates (Rom. xiii. 1, Let every soul be subject to the higher powers), and is expressed by subjection and reverence, Eph 5:24; Eph 5:33. The reason is that Adam was first formed, then Eve: and Adam was not deceived, but the woman, being deceived, was in the transgression,1Ti 2:13; 1Ti 2:14. He was first in the creation and last in the transgression. The head of the woman is the man; and the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man; neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man,1Co 11:3; 1Co 11:8; 1Co 11:9. It is agreeable to the order of nature and the reason of things, as well as the appointment and will of God. But then it is submission, not to a rigorous lord or absolute tyrant, who may do his will and is without restraints, but to a husband, and to her own husband, who stands in the nearest relation, and is under strict engagements to proper duty too. And this is fit in the Lord, it is becoming the relation, and what they are bound in duty to do, as an instance of obedience to the authority and law of Christ. On the other hand, husbands must love their wives, and not be bitter against them, v. 19. They must love them with tender and faithful affection, as Christ loved the church, and as their own bodies, and even as themselves (Eph 5:25; Eph 5:28; Eph 5:33), with a love peculiar to the nearest relation and the greatest comfort and blessing of life. And they must not be bitter against them, not use them unkindly, with harsh language or severe treatment, but be kind and obliging to them in all things; for the woman was made for the man, neither is the man without the woman, and the man also is by the woman,1Co 11:9; 1Co 11:11; 1Co 11:12.

      II. The duties of children and parents: Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord, v. 20. They must be willing to do all their lawful commands, and be at their direction and disposal; as those who have a natural right and are fitter to direct them than themselves. The apostle (Eph. vi. 2) requires them to honour as well as obey their parents; they must esteem them and think honourably of them, as the obedience of their lives must proceed from the esteem and opinion of their minds. And this is well-pleasing to God, or acceptable to him; for it is the first commandment with promise (Eph. vi. 2), with an explicit promise annexed to it, namely, That it shall be well with them, and they shall live long on the earth. Dutiful children are the most likely to prosper in the world and enjoy long life. And parents must be tender, as well as children obedient (v. 21): “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Let not your authority over them be exercised with rigour and severity, but with kindness and gentleness, lest you raise their passions and discourage them in their duty, and by holding the reins too tight make them fly out with greater fierceness.” The bad temper and example of imprudent parents often prove a great hindrance to their children and a stumbling-block in their way; see Eph. vi. 4. And it is by the tenderness of parents, and dutifulness of children, that God ordinarily furnishes his church with a seed to serve him, and propagates religion from age to age.

      III. Servants and masters: Servants, obey your masters in all things according to the flesh, v. 22. Servants must do the duty of the relation in which they stand, and obey their master’s commands in all things which are consistent with their duty to God their heavenly Master. Not with eye-service, as men-pleasers–not only when their master’s eye is upon them, but when they are from under their master’s eye. They must be both just and diligent. In singleness of heart, fearing God–without selfish designs, or hypocrisy and disguise, as those who fear God and stand in awe of him. Observe, The fear of God ruling in the heart will make people good in every relation. Servants who fear God will be just and faithful when they are from under their master’s eye, because they know they are under the eye of God. See Gen. xx. 11, Because I thought, Surely the fear of God is not in this place. Neh. v. 15, But so did not I, because of the fear of God. “And whatsoever you do, do it heartily (v. 23), with diligence, not idly and slothfully:” or, “Do it cheerfully, not discontented at the providence of God which put you in that relation.”–As to the Lord, and not as to men. It sanctifies a servant’s work when it is done as unto God–with an eye to his glory and in obedience to his command, and not merely as unto men, or with regard to them only. Observe, We are really doing our duty to God when we are faithful in our duty to men. And, for servants’ encouragement, let them know that a good and faithful servant is never the further from heaven for his being a servant: “Knowing that of the Lord you shall receive the reward of the inheritance, for you serve the Lord Christ, v. 24. Serving your masters according to the command of Christ, you serve Christ, and he will be your paymaster: you will have a glorious reward at last. Though you are now servants, you will receive the inheritance of sons. But, on the other hand, He who does wrong will receive for the wrong which he has done,” v. 25. There is a righteous God, who, if servants wrong their masters, will reckon with them for it, though they may conceal it from their master’s notice. And he will be sure to punish the unjust as well as reward the faithful servant: and so if masters wrong their servants.–And there is no respect of persons with him. The righteous Judge of the earth will be impartial, and carry it with an equal hand towards the master and servant; not swayed by any regard to men’s outward circumstances and condition of life. The one and the other will stand upon a level at his tribunal.

      It is probable that the apostle has a particular respect, in all these instances of duty, to the case mentioned 1 Cor. vii. of relations of a different religion, as a Christian and heathen, a Jewish convert and an uncircumcised Gentile, where there was room to doubt whether they were bound to fulfil the proper duties of their several relations to such persons. And, if it hold in such cases, it is much stronger upon Christians one towards another, and where both are of the same religion. And how happy would the gospel religion make the world, if it every where prevailed; and how much would it influence every state of things and every relation of life!

Fuente: Matthew Henry’s Whole Bible Commentary

Wives ( ). The article here distinguishes class from class and with the vocative case can be best rendered “Ye wives.” So with each group.

Be in subjection to your husbands ( ). “Own” () is genuine in Eph 5:22, but not here. The verb has a military air, common in the Koine for such obedience. Obedience in government is essential as the same word shows in Rom 13:1; Rom 13:5.

As is fitting in the Lord ( ). This is an idiomatic use of the imperfect indicative with verbs of propriety in present time (Robertson, Grammar, p. 919). Wives have rights and privileges, but recognition of the husband’s leadership is essential to a well-ordered home, only the assumption is that the husband has a head and a wise one.

Fuente: Robertson’s Word Pictures in the New Testament

Wives, etc. Compare the parallel passages, Eph 5:22 – vi. 9. See also 1Pe 2:18 – iii. 7; Tit 2:1 – 5.

Is fit [] . See on Phl 1:8. The imperfect tense, was fitting, or became fitting, points to the time of their entrance upon the christian life. Not necessarily presupposing that the duty remained unperformed.

Lightfoot illustrates by ought, the past tense of owed, and says, “the past tense perhaps implies an essential a priori obligation.”

In the Lord. Connect with is fitting, and compare well – pleasing in the Lord, ver. 20.

Fuente: Vincent’s Word Studies in the New Testament

1) “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands” (hai gunaikes, hupotassesthe tois andrasin) be ye subject to the (your) husbands” as ordained of God in Eden, for domestic tranquillity and proper service and honor to God, Gen 3:16; In following this Divine injunction the wife realizes the greatest degree of usefulness and finds the greatest possible honor in life, Eph 5:22-24; 1Co 11:3; 1Pe 3:1-5.

2) “As it is fit in the Lord” (hos aneken en kurio) “as (it) is befitting in the Lord-,” in the will and provided order of the Lord for the family unit of society. This is God’s order and any other order is out of order. This submission is not that of a vassal-slave, but of a surrendered Christian.

Fuente: Garner-Howes Baptist Commentary

18 Wives, be subject. Now follow particular duties, as they are called, (456) which depend on the calling of individuals. In handling these it were superfluous to take up many words, inasmuch as I have already stated in the Epistle to the Ephesians (457) almost everything that was necessary. Here I shall only add briefly such things as are more particularly suited to an exposition of the passage before us.

He commands wives to be subject. This is clear, but what follows is of doubtful signification — as it is fit in the Lord. For some connect it thus — “Be subject in the Lord, as it is fit.” I, however, view it rather differently, — As it is fit in the Lord, that is, according to the appointment of the Lord, so that he confirms the subjection of wives by the authority of God. He requires love on the part of husbands, and that they be not bitter, because there is a danger lest they should abuse their authority in the way of tyranny.

(456) “ Les enseignemens concernans le deuoir particulier d’vn chacun;” — “Instructions relating to the particular duty of each individual.”

(457) I believe Calvin is referring to his commentary on Eph 5:21, — v.41 p. 317. — fj.

Fuente: Calvin’s Complete Commentary

CRITICAL AND EXPLANATORY NOTES

Col. 3:18. As it is fit in the Lord.See Eph. 5:22. The feeling of propriety St. Paul emphasises here, and limits it in the Lord.

Col. 3:19. Be not bitter against them.As love in its most degraded form might alternate with paroxysms of anger, St. Paul uses the nobler word for Christian love which casts out hatred as well as fear.

MAIN HOMILETICS OF THE PARAGRAGH.Col. 3:18-19

Duties of Husbands and Wives.

After the apostle has laid down the law of duty for the government of all Christians in the general conduct of life, he proceeds to show the application of the same law to the domestic relationships. Obedience to the law in the general is an excellent preparation for observing it in the particular: the best Christian will make the best husband or wife. The morality of Christianity is one of its brightest glories and most beneficent influences; it provides for the purity and happiness of domestic life, and where it rules all is peace, love, and contentment. Where polygamy prevails, as in heathen and Mahometan countries, the most lamentable domestic complications occur, and all is distraction and misery. The family is the source and pattern of society. If the family is corrupt and disorganised, society suffers. A holy, well-regulated household is a regenerative force in society. It is in the home that the social principle finds its highest development. There the tenderest feelings are roused, the deepest and most permanent impressions made, the foundation and first rough outlines of what we may become laid down and indicated, the first principle of good or evil imbibed, and the mightiest moral forces brought into play. Much, therefore, depends upon the understanding that exists between the husband and wife, and the way in which they discharge their mutual duties, as to what shall be the character of the household government. The apostle, in enforcing these relative duties, mentions the three classes which divide the domestic circlehusbands and wives, parents and children, masters and servants. He begins with the inferior relation in each classwife, child, servantperhaps, because the difficulty of obedience is greater, because in disputes it is the duty of the humbler party to submit, and because the discharge of duty by that party is the surest method of securing it in the other.
I. The duty of the wife is submission to the husband.Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands (Col. 3:18).

1. This implies dependence.It is the divine order that the husband is the head of the wife. In point of nature, and of their relation to God, they are both equal; but when brought into the married relation the husband has the first place, and the wife, as the weaker vessel, and under a sense of dependence, is called to submit. Where the order is reversed, and the wife takes the lead, mischief is sure to ensue. Not that woman is to be the slave and drudge of her husband; but the relationship between the two ought to be so adjusted by the power of religion that the wife is never rudely reminded of her state of dependence.

2. Implies respect.It is difficult to respect some men, and still more difficult to love where we cannot respect. But the apostolic injunction is emphatic: Let the wife see that she reverence her husband. Though the husband be a reckless, incapable neer-do-well, the wife is to respect the position of her husband and show him deference as the head of the family. Alas! how many a noble woman has had her life embittered by a worthless husband, but who, with a heroism, truly sublime, and a love truly angelical, has bravely done her duty and striven to screen the faults of the man who caused her misery.

3. Implies obedience in all things lawful.St. Peter refers to the holy women in the old time, being in subjection unto their own husbands, even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord (1Pe. 3:5-6). A true wife is wholly devoted to her husband. She will care for his person, property, health, character, and reputation, as for her own. In all things reasonable and lawful she will rejoice to meet the requests of her husband and follow his counsel.

II. The submission of the wife to the husband is governed by religious principle.As it is fit in the Lord (Col. 3:18). The wife is first to submit herself fully to Christ, and, from love to Him, to submit herself to her own husband, and to look upon her subjection as service done to Christ. This will be a consolation and strength to her in many an unkind word from a cruel, apathetic, and unappreciative husband. It would never do for two wills to be ruling a family. There would be endless clashing and confusion. It is the divine arrangement that the husband is the head of the house, and it is fit in the Lord that the wife should be in subjection. She is not to forget her responsibility to God in a slavish, unreasoning, and sinful obedience to her husband. Governed by a pure and lofty religious principle, she may so fulfil her duty as to win, or at least disarm, her unreasonable partner. A wise submission may sometimes work wonders. She stoops to conquer. An old writer has said: A wife is ordained for man, like a little Zoara city of refuge to fly to in all his troubles.

III. The duty of the husband is to show affection towards the wife.

1. This affection is to be genuinely manifested. Husbands, love your wives (Col. 3:19). Obligation is not all on one side. The husband is not less bound to discharge his duty to his wife than the wife to him. Love is the sum of the husbands duty, and that which will regulate every other. Where love rules, the family circle becomes a tranquil and cherished haven of rest, peace, harmony, and joy. Nor is it enough that this affection should be recognised as a matter of courselet it be manifested. That woman is a strange, heartless shrew who is unaffected by the gentle evidences of a devoted and manly love. The true wife needs, craves for, and knows how to appreciate a genuine and evident affection. Let the husband show the same tender and considerate regard to his wife as life advances and cares multiply as when he stood by her side at the altar, a lovely and confiding bride.

2. This affection is to be free from harshness.And be not bitter against them (Col. 3:19). It is evidently implied that the love of a Christian heart may be marred by a sour and morose temper. It is ungenerous and cruel to vent upon his wife and family the anger which the man had not the courage to display before those who roused it when mixing among them in the world. Bitterness may be manifested as much by a cold, repulsive silence as by the most stinging words of sharp and angry reproof, or by the irritating actions of a wilful and tantalising conduct. It is a species of savage and fiendish brutality for a husband to study how he can inflict the keenest torture on a loving and submissive nature. It sometimes requires the most assiduous art of the tenderest affection to repair the damage done by a single word. Amid the perplexities and trials of married life many occasions will arise in which mutual patience and forbearance will need to be exercised. Let love reign supreme, and banish the first symptoms of a harsh and churlish disposition.

Lessons.

1. Be careful whom you marry.

2. Beware of the first quarrel.

3. Bear with Christian resignation the life-consequences of an unfortunate choice.

4. Connubial bliss is attained only by the faithful exercise of mutual duties.

Fuente: The Preacher’s Complete Homiletical Commentary Edited by Joseph S. Exell

18. Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Translation and Paraphrase

18. (You) women, be in subjection to (your) husbands, as is proper in (the) Lord (Jesus). (Arrange yourselves in the proper relationships with your husbands.)
19. (You) men, love (your) wives, and do not be embittered toward them. (Do not allow bitterness to build up within you, or to issue from your mouth.)

Notes

1.

Col. 3:18-25; Col. 4:1 is a new section in our outline. Instructions for special groups of people. It deals with interpersonal relationships between Christians. Note that all of our interpersonal relationships are to be done in the Lord. (Col. 3:18; Col. 3:20; Col. 3:22). If the Lord does not guide all of your life, he probably is not Lord at all.

2.

Colossians and Ephesians alone of all of Pauls writings give a detailed treatment of the home and the duties of husbands and wives. (Eph. 5:22-33; Compare 1Pe. 3:1-7.)

The fact that Colossians and Ephesians both contain this material that is unique in all of Pauls letters tends to confirm the close relationship between the two letters. We believe that they were written within a few days of one another, and sent out together.

3.

Let us not forget that the remarks in the preceding passages apply to Pauls discussion about the home. In our homes we must seek the things that are above, not the things on the earth. (Col. 3:1-2). In our homes we must put to death the members of the flesh. (Col. 3:5). In our homes we must put on the new man. (Col. 3:10). In our homes we must do everything in Christs name. (Col. 3:17).

4.

In one way husbands and wives are perfectly equal. (Gal. 3:28). But in another way the wife is to be in subjection to the husband, as the church is subject unto Christ.

The wifes subjection is not a state of slavery to the husband. Nowhere in scripture is the wife commanded to obey her husband. He has no right to order her about. Her subjection consists in her recognition that she was created as a helper for him, and that he is the head of the home. It is her responsibility to help him, and go with him in fulfillment of his lifes work. She will find her happiness and fulfillment in her joyful acceptance of this role.

If the husband is as kind a head over his house, as Christ is kind as head over the church, no woman could possibly resent her husbands headship.

5.

It is fitting, or proper, in the Lord that the wife thus be in subjection. It is fitting both in the eyes of men and of God

6.

The Roman world gave very little honor and few rights to women and children. Christianity gives rights to them as well as to husbands and fathers.

7.

The command for husbands to love their wives is always needed. Love will wipe suspicions away, produce gratitude and kindness, and keep a multitude of small misunderstandings from eroding away the happiness of a basically blessed marriage.

The command to husbands to love their wives would be especially needed in a society where marriages were arranged by the parents on the basis of social and financial considerations, and not by the couple themselves on the basis of love.

8.

Husbands must be careful not to be bitter or irritated against their wives, and careful not to speak bitterly. The husband may soon forget what he said, but such words may burn more deeply into the feelings of the wife than the husband ever knows.

9.

In Tit. 2:4 the wife also is instructed to love her husband. Thus love is not solely a responsibility that the husband must take care to cultivate in marriage; the wife must be loving too.

Study and Review

53.

What does it mean for a wife to be in subjection to her husband? (Col. 3:18)

54.

Why is it fitting in the Lord for a wife to be in subjection?

55.

Why should the husband be told to love his wife, when the wife is not told to love her husband? (Col. 3:19; Compare Tit. 2:4)

56.

Is the command against bitterness in husbands greatly needed? (Col. 3:19)

Fuente: College Press Bible Study Textbook Series

(18) As it is fit in the Lord.For the explanation of this special fitness in the Lord, i.e., in virtue of Christian unity, see the grand description of Eph. 5:23-24; Eph. 5:32-33.

Fuente: Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers (Old and New Testaments)

[6.

Special Exhortation as to the relations of life.

(1)

THE DUTY OF WIVES AND HUSBANDS (Col. 3:18-19).

(2)

THE DUTY OF CHILDREN AND PARENTS (Col. 3:20-21).

(3)

THE DUTY OF SLAVES AND MASTERS (Col. 3:22 to Col. 4:1).]

Fuente: Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers (Old and New Testaments)

3. Special social duties, Col 3:18 to Col 4:1.

a. Wives and husbands, Col 3:18 , Col 3:19 .

18. Wives This and the following verses have their parallels nearly verbatim, though often expanded by argument or illustration, in Eph 5:22, etc., where see the notes.

Fit in the Lord In their relation as Christians, for in a Christian marriage the husband is the divinely ordained head of the wife.

Fuente: Whedon’s Commentary on the Old and New Testaments

‘Wives be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.’

The position of wives as being ‘under their husbands’ is not only taught but elsewhere stressed theologically in Scripture (1Co 11:3; 1Co 11:7-9; Eph 5:23; 1Ti 2:11-14; Gen 2:18; Gen 2:21-23). Marriage should be a partnership, as it was from the very beginning, for Eve was a helper of like kind with Adam, and the two are made one so that the man should look on his wife as himself (Eph 5:28; Eph 5:33). But the man is in the final analysis to have the last word, with her best concerns in mind, and as a loving husband and not as a tyrant (Eph 5:19).

‘Be in subjection.’ Not quite as strong as it sounds, but nevertheless to be obeyed, just as Christians are also to be subject to one another (Eph 5:21; 1Pe 5:5) . It is a subjection of love not of tyrrany. In the same way Christ was subject to His parents (Luk 2:51), and the Son will be subject to the Father (1Co 15:28). In all these cases it is a benevolent subjection. However, the final headship of the man has to be acknowledged.

‘As is fitting in the Lord.’ The relationship is defined in terms of a higher plane. Both the husband and wife may be ‘in the Lord’ where there is neither male nor female (Gal 3:28), and yet in that high state it is ‘fitting’, recognised as right and suitable, that the wife graciously submit to her husband.

Fuente: Commentary Series on the Bible by Peter Pett

3). Instructions to Wives, Husbands, Children, Servants and Masters ( Col 3:18 to Col 4:1 ).

Here Paul is following the pattern of some Jewish and pagan writers with respect to domestic behaviour, but he Christianises the instructions and makes them specifically applicable. This is a making sacred of these day to day relationships.

Fuente: Commentary Series on the Bible by Peter Pett

Submission Between Husbands and Wives – Col 3:18-19 discusses the role of submission in marriage between a husband and a wife in the fear of the Lord.

Col 3:18 “as it is fit in the Lord” Illustration – I once met an elderly Christian couple who told me this story. In the years past, the wife would go to church despite the husband’s protests. He had not yet been saved, so he did not want his wife to be around Christians and their way of thinking. One day, the wife returned home from church to find herself locked out of the house by her angry husband. Yet, this bit of persecution did not discourage her in her faith in God. Was she being disobedient to this passage of Scripture? Col 3:18 gives qualifications to the wife’s submissive position in a marriage. This means that commandment to be submissive is not all-inclusive to every situation in her life. If her submission is proper in the eyes of the Lord, she is doing well. If her submission is not fitting to the Lord, she must obey what the Lord has ordained in His Word, despite persecution from the world, including her husband.

Col 3:18 Comments – Now, if I were writing this epistle as an American born in a culture where marriage was consummated by to people who mutually loved each other, I would begin this passage by saying, “Wives, love your husbands.” However, Paul does not ask once in this passage for the wives to love their husbands. Why would this be so?

One reason might be the fact that in this culture, as in many cultures today, the fathers chose the husband for the bride. A wedding was not consummated out of love, but out of a mutual arrangement by a father and a daughter’s obedience to a father. The wife was to learn to love her husband. Perhaps Uriah and Bathsheba were newly married and therefore, she had not yet developed a deep love for her husband. Therefore, her heart was not as torn apart as a person who had lost one who was dearly loved.

Fuente: Everett’s Study Notes on the Holy Scriptures

Submission At Home: Domestic Duties Col 3:18 to Col 4:1 places emphasis upon our domestic duties at home as we learn to submit to one another.

Outline Here is a proposed outline:

1. Husbands and Wives Col 3:18-19

2. Children and Parents Col 3:20-21

3. Masters and Slaves Col 3:22 to Col 4:1

Also:

Col 3:18 – Wives to husbands (vs. 19 – Husband love wives)

Col 3:20 – Children to parents (vs. 21 – Fathers love children)

Col 3:22-25 – Servants to masters (Col 4:1 – Masters honor servants)

Fuente: Everett’s Study Notes on the Holy Scriptures

His Preeminence in our Conduct (Physical Transformation) In Col 3:18 to Col 4:6 Paul gives them specific charges so that they will be challenged to begin to walk in this new life. This passage is about submitting to one another (5:21), because we have a Master in Heaven (Col 4:1). They are to learn how to allow Christ to rule their homes, in all of their relationships as wives, as husbands, as children, as fathers, as slaves and as masters (Col 3:18 to Col 4:1). Thus, we can see in this passage of Scripture the manifestation of Christ ruling our lives by how we behave in our social relationships. They are also exhorted to learn how to let Christ rule their prayer time and church time (Col 4:2-4), to be careful how they conduct themselves with those outside the church as they learn to bring their words into obedience to Christ (Col 4:5-6). When a man learns to bring his words in submission, he has reached the state of maturity that God has called him to (Jas 3:2).

Jas 3:2, “For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.”

Outline – Note the proposed outline:

1. At Home (Domestic Duties) Col 3:18 to Col 4:1

i. Husbands and Wives Col 3:18-19

ii. Children and Parents Col 3:20-21

iii. Masters and Slaves Col 3:22 to Col 4:1

2. At Church (Religious Duties) Col 4:2-4

3. In the World (Civil Duties) Col 4:5-6

Fuente: Everett’s Study Notes on the Holy Scriptures

The conduct of Christians in various stations in life:

v. 18. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

v. 19. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

v. 20. Children, obey your parents in all things; for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord.

v. 21. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

v. 22. Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eye-service, as men-pleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing God.

v. 23. And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men,

v. 24. knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance; for ye serve the Lord Christ.

v. 25. For he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done; and there is no respect of persons.

See Eph 5:22-33; Eph 6:1-8. In giving specific instructions to individual classes of Christians the apostle addresses himself first to the wives: Wives, be subject to your husbands, as it should be in the Lord. The submission of the wife to the husband is in agreement with the order of God in creation, 1Ti 2:13, not an absolute obedience, but one which every Christian wife cheerfully yields in the Lord, as it should be. As all Christians willingly acknowledge the headship of Christ and gladly obey Him according to His revealed Word, so Christian wives acknowledge the headship of their husbands and permit them to be the leaders in all matters which do not oppose the Word of God. That nevertheless an ideal marriage can and should be a partnership goes without saying.

But the husband, as the responsible head, also has a specific duty: Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. The leadership, the headship, of the husband should be exercised in love, not merely the conjugal love, which would at best be subject to great fluctuations, but with the steady, unwavering affection, of which he has an example in the love of Christ for the Church, Eph 5:25-33. This love cannot permit bitterness to creep in and spoil the relationship which the will of God demands. The man is neither master of his wife nor slaveholder with respect to her, but the husband, who will never cause bitterness to arise in her heart by irritable harshness on his part. Indifference and neglect on the part of the husband, whether that be due to the cares and worries of his work or business or to the changing moods of the flesh, cannot be excused.

To the children the apostle says: Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing in the Lord. The phrase “in all things” is synonymous with the “in the Lord” of the parallel passage, Eph 6:1. The statement is purposely general; for parents are the representatives of God over against their children, and their authority is that of the Lord. An unwilling, grumbling obedience on the part of the children is just as directly against the letter and spirit of this admonition as outright disobedience. The Lord wants willing hearts, a service on the part of the children which flows from faith and a grateful heart toward God, whose gifts the parents are.

But no less urgent is the apostle’s admonition to the parents: Fathers, provoke not your children, lest they be disheartened. This requires a great deal of wisdom and patience. For if parents are over severe, unjust, capricious in the treatment of their children, if they irritate them by exacting, harsh commands and perpetual faultfinding, such a foolish exercise of parental authority may easily discourage the children, may break their spirit, may cause them to lose all affection and confidence, all pleasure and power for good and against evil.

The longest admonition of the series is addressed by Paul to the servants, in this case the slaves, probably on account of the incident in which Onesimus was involved. He writes: Servants, obey in all things those that are your masters according to the flesh, not in eye-service as men-pleasers, but in singleness of the heart, fearing the Lord. The statement “in all things” is naturally modified by the limitation set by God Himself, Act 5:29. Slaves are bound to yield obedience to their earthly lords; that is the will of God. Their work should not be done with acts of eye-service, namely, that they show all eagerness while the eye of the master rests upon them, and afterwards idle and loaf away the time. In that case they would be mere men-pleasers, they would consider the performance of their duty to consist only in gaining the approval of their masters. A Christian servant will remember that his first duty is toward the Lord, that he should strive to please Him, and that he should therefore perform his work in singleness of heart and purpose, not with the double-dealing which accompanies mere eye-service. A Christian servant is always conscious of the presence of God, for whom he has the highest feeling of respectful regard. His aim is, above all, to gain the approbation of his heavenly Father.

It follows, then: Whatever you do, do it from the heart as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. Although Christian servants are in the immediate service of men, as far as appearances go, they should know that in reality they are in the service of God. All their labor, therefore, must be done heartily and with a right good will. And all this should be their willing obedience all the more because they should know that the Lord would give them the reward, or recompense, of mercy. The Lord will look upon the faithful labor of every servant and every workman as a continuous good work for Christ’s sake and will reward him accordingly. In the inheritance which is promised to them as the children of God the slaves would have the full recompense for all their hard labor in the service of their masters here on earth.

They must never forget, therefore: Serve the Lord Christ, for he that does wrong will bear what he has done wrong, and there is no respect of persons This is a warning from the Law: Every person reaps what he sows. For although the Christians, and also the Christian slaves, are no longer under the Law as believers, they are always in danger, on account of the weakness and perversity of their old flesh and evil nature, to yield to sin in some form. In that case they must remember that the evildoer must bear the curse and punishment of his evil. At the same time, the terrible part of the warning is contained in the fact that the wrong done here on earth and enduring for only a few moments will be punished with eternal destruction. Obedience and faithfulness is required of Christian servants, and those that deliberately transgress in this respect, probably with the plea that they have become partakers of the true Christian liberty, will find that God will not overlook misdeeds or idleness. It makes no difference to Him whether the sinner occupies a high social position in the world or is reckoned with the very lowliest of men; He judges the heart.

On the other hand, therefore, the masters should also heed the warning, Col 4:1. Masters, give unto your servants that which is just and equal, knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven.

The treatment which any master accords to those under his authority, and especially to slaves, should be determined by justice and equity, not by caprice. Masters should regard their slaves, OR their side, as far as they are concerned, as human beings with themselves, like themselves. On the social, historical side there may be a wide difference in their stations, but by creation all men are equal before God, and that fact must never be forgotten. The almighty and just Lord in heaven will call every master to account for the treatment accorded those entrusted to his authority.

Summary

The apostle directs the thoughts of his readers heavenward, admonishes them to put off the old man, the sinful members on earth, and to put on the new man with all the Christian virtues, sustained by a rich use of the Word of God; he gives brief regulations to wives and husbands, to children and parents, to slaves and masters.

Fuente: The Popular Commentary on the Bible by Kretzmann

Col 3:18 to Col 4:1 . [164] Instructions for the different portions of the household . Why Paul should have given to the churches such a table of household rules only in this Epistle and in that to the Ephesians (comp. also 1 Tim. and Tit.), must be left wholly undecided (Chrysostom exhausts himself in conjectures). They are not polemical; but possibly, in the presence of a theosophico-ascetic atmosphere, the practical rules of healthy domestic life seemed to him the more seasonable. They do not contain traces of a later development of church-life (Holtzmann). The circumstance that the precepts for the several forms of domestic society uniformly (Col 3:18 ; Col 3:20 ; Col 3:22 ff.) begin with the subordinate party, as also at Eph 5:21 ff., is to be regarded as having occurred without any set purpose; the idea of obedience was primarily present to the writer’s mind. If Paul’s aim had been to counteract the abuse of Christian freedom and equality , or in other words, perverse desires for emancipation, he would not have considered so weighty a purpose sufficiently met by the mere mode of arrangement, but would have entered upon the matter itself (in opposition to Huther and de Wette); and this we should have to assume that he would have done also in the event of his having had in view an attitude of resistance on the part of those bound to obedience as the thing most to be feared (in opposition to Hofmann). Just as much might such an attitude be a thing to be feared from the stronger party. Respecting the nominatives in the address, see especially Stallbaum, ad Plat. Symp . p. 172 A.

] not the perfect (with present signification), as Huther thinks and Bleek does not disapprove, but the imperfect , which has its logical reference in the to be connected with it: as was fitting in the Lord, i.e . as was becoming in the relation of the (Phm 1:8 ), as was appropriate to the Christian state, but had not yet been in this way realized. The imperfect (comp. Act 22:22 ) denotes, therefore, as also in and , the incomplete condition, which extends even into the present. See Khner, II. 1, p. 176 f.; Bernhardy, p. 373. Similarly, Winer, p. 254 [E. T. 338]. Comp. also Buttmann, p. 187 [E. T. 216]. We are not to think of an omission of ; see Khner, l.c . The connection of with (Chrysostom, Theophylact, Estius, Rosenmller, Hofmann, and others) in which case Hofmann imparts into the abstract idea: as was already in itself fitting is opposed by the position of the words themselves, as well as by the parallel in Col 3:20 : .

[164] This domestic code is held by Holtzmann to be an insertion of the interpolator from Eph 5:21 to Eph 6:9 . He groundlessly questions the genuineness of the expressions , , , , , , and even appeals to the use of , , and the formula as direct evidence against its Pauline origin. Might not, however, the word have been sufficiently familiar to Paul from the LXX. (Psa 53:5 ) and otherwise (Lobeck, ad Phryn. p. 621), and have been used by him in the two parallel epistles? Is not a term in general use since Thucydides? Is not “to serve the Lord Christ” a Pauline idea, and even (comp. Rom 16:18 ) literal expression? The danger of a petitio principii only too easily steals upon even the cautious and sober critic in such points of detail. He finds what he seeks.

Fuente: Heinrich August Wilhelm Meyer’s New Testament Commentary

3. Specific exhortations

Col 3:18 to Col 4:1

a) To wives and husbands

(Col 3:18-19)

18Wives, submit yourselves unto your own [omit own]29 husbands, as it is fit [or as it 19should be]30 Husbands, love your31 wives, and be not bitter [or embittered] against them.

EXEGETICAL AND CRITICAL

Col 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands.See on Eph 5:22. is found there also, while instead of , must there be supplied from the verse preceding. does not refer to men as a category but the given, proper men [i. e., husbands, as in E. V.R.].

As it should be in the Lord.The imperfect denotes this pre-supposition: that what was exhorted, was not as yet attended to (as Eph 5:4. Winers Gram. p. 254); hence it means: as it should be, corresponding with the fellowship which has in Christ its life-sphere. This is applied somewhat differently in Eph 5:22 : as unto the Lord. There the dignity of the man is made more prominent, by comparing the husband to Christ and the wife to the Church. It is incorrect to join in the Lord to submit (Chrysostom and others), or to take as a perfect with a present signification (Huther, Bleek also).

Husbands, love your wives.See Eph 5:25.And be not bitter against them.[Ellicott renders , be not embitteredreferring it to a state of mind, rather than to specific acts.R.] This special warning concerns a foul blot in married life, when the husband, as head of the house, not as head of the wife, not in love to her, but ruled by the old man, either shows bitterness in word or deed, or in tone, to the wife, should she be wanting in humility and submission, or have violated or disregarded the household right of the husband; or treats her with indifference, neglect or harshness, without any fault of hers, from the cares and weariness of business, or the changing moods of the flesh, or mere habit. The preposition against, denotes the direction only; it does not necessarily imply hostility towards the wife; she need only learn from his conduct, that in his false self-love he does not love her as himself, but as one unregenerate might do. Bengel: odium amori mixtum; multi, quiforis erga omnes humani sunt, tamen domi in uxorem ac liberos, quos videlicet non tement, occulta facile acerbitate utuntur, qu ubi vincelur, specimen est magn mansuetudinis.

[Steiger would account for this special exhortation here and in Eph. by the supposition that the doctrine of the false teachers had developed a dangerous licentiousness. But had there been a polemic reference, the Apostle would have entered into the subject more fully, and not been content with these simple exhortations (Meyer). The social morality of these Asiatic cities was undoubtedly debased, but this was the case throughout the whole Roman empire. From this briefer form of the exhortation, Ellicott infers that our Epistle was written before that to the Ephesians.R.]

DOCTRINAL AND ETHICAL

Compare notes on Eph 5:22-23.

HOMILETICAL AND PRACTICAL

Starke :That there are so few wedlocks which are properly regulated and rightly enjoyed on both sides, arises usually from the fact of the wifes avoiding submission, or of the husbands not knowing how to govern properly.The male sex has usually more fire than the female, so that it can easily happen that a man in his power goes too far and deals too hardly with his wife.

Rieger:Most of the mistakes of married life are consequences of the sins of youth, especially of those seductive blandishments under which the marriages were formed.Even that which is polluted, should any one in a time of ignorance be betrayed into a dubious union, may be washed away, cleansed and sanctified.He who knows and considers his loveless heart, as Gods word discloses to men their natural evil disposition, and by these two words especially: hard-heartedness and anger, will dig deeply and lay well the foundation in his love.Negligence in affection is itself the first rupture of the marriage tie. But in love we have a fortress that can stand many an assault.

Passavant:It is exceedingly painful and saddening, to be forced by the reports of missionaries, to see at what a low grade of intelligence and in what a sorrowful condition in general, woman is kept among heathen nationsthe Birmese perhaps and the Karens exceptedwith what neglect and contempt and abuse she is treated.Over the grave of many a great man, of many a sleeping saint, often too of one snatched as a brand from the burning, stands in lines, that angels read: he had a pious mother!The man is the head; a high vocation, a higher power and strength, and a great responsibility! It pre-supposes quiet wisdom, earnest character, rational sway with benevolencebearing, forbearing, patience, with mildness and friendliness;and this cannot exist with a firm, faithful, ever equal love, without holy love toward the wifes soul, before the Lord.This exhortation of the Apostle pre-supposes also, that there will be many an opportunity of becoming embittered, and that the wifes nature will be the occasion of it. Yet the husband should not allow himself to be overcome by the weaker vessel; but here there must be humility and bowing of heart before God every day.

Heubner:Bitterness steals upon us at the very first in the closest unions, as we discover the weaknesses of another, or where there are many hastinesses. The husband can be easily led into this, if the wife does not-gratify his wish.

[Schenkel :Why Christian morality requires the submission of the wife in the household.The dangers of bitterness in married life: 1) Its extent; 2) Its causes; 3) Its results.

Schleiermacher:The regulation of household life. It should be so regulated, that 1) all that is done, is done in the name of Jesus; 2) that thanks are in every way given to God, through the conduct of our household life.R.]

Footnotes:

[29]Col 3:18.Some MSS. have inserted, probably from the parallel passage [Eph 5:22], , omitted in . A. B. C. and others.

[30]Col 3:18.[, imperfect, Ellicott renders as above.R.]

[31]Col 3:19.. A. B. and others omit after . [Retained by Lachmann, Meyer and others. In any case, your is required by our English idiom.R.]

Fuente: A Commentary on the Holy Scriptures, Critical, Doctrinal, and Homiletical by Lange

DISCOURSE: 2189
THE RELATIVE DUTIES EXPLAINED

Col 3:18 to Col 4:1. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eye-service, as men-pleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing God: and whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons. Masters, give unto your servants that which is just and equal; knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven.

IT is often a matter of complaint with some, that many who have been ordained to preach the Gospel leave the great and mysterious doctrines of the Gospel on the back ground, and bring forward little else than dry morality. But, whatever ground there may be for that complaint, it may be well to inquire, Whether there be not too much reason to complain of another class, who pay such exclusive attention to the doctrines, as almost entirely to overlook the duties, of the Gospel? Amongst some it would be almost thought superfluous, and even wrong, to devote an entire discourse to the subject of moral duties; since, according to their views, the discharge of them may well be left to the simple operation of faith, without any distinct statement of them from the teachers of Christianity. But so thought not the Apostle Paul On the contrary, in those two epistles (to the Ephesians, and Colossians) in which he enters most deeply into the mysteries of Christianity, he enlarges most fully on the relative duties. We are persuaded that a similar plan ought to be adopted by every minister of Christ. We should have no exclusive preference for doctrines or duties, but should put each in their place, and bring them both forward in their proper season. Convinced of this, we enter with great pleasure on the consideration of our relative duties; that is, of the duties,

I.

Of husbands and wives

It is worthy of observation, that, not in this place only, but in all other places where the Apostles speak of the relative duties, they mention those of the inferior first. The reason of this seems to be, that the duties of the inferior arise solely from the command of God, and are totally independent of the conduct of the superior; so that no neglect of duty on the one part can justify any neglect of it on the other. Agreeably therefore to the Apostolic plan, we shall notice the duty,

1.

Of wives

[To you are assigned obedience and subjection; partly, because you were created after man, and for the sake of man; and partly because you were first in the transgression, and were the means of bringing ruin upon man and upon all his posterity [Note: 1Ti 2:11-14. with Gen 3:16.]. The extent to which obedience to your husband is required of you is indeed exceeding great: it reaches to every thing that is not contrary to the will of God: it is, if I may so speak, co-extensive with the obedience which the Church owes to the Lord Jesus Christ; and your obedience is due to your husband, as to the Lord himself. I am aware that this expression is very strong; but I conceive it is not at all stronger than the declarations of St. Paul. True, in the text it is only said, Submit yourselves, as it is fit in the Lord: but in the Epistle to the Ephesians he draws the very parallel that I have drawn, and shews that your duty to your husband corresponds exactly with the Churchs duty to the Lord Jesus Christ: Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as unto the Lord: for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church: and he is the Saviour of the body. Therefore, as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing [Note: Eph 5:22-24.]. (Of course, this will be understood of obedience only, and not of dependence; for that were absurd and impious in the extreme.) In the whole of this obedience, she must feel that it is due to him by Gods special appointment: that he is her head, and her lord, whom she is bound, not only to obey, but to obey with reverence [Note: Eph 5:33.], even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord [Note: 1Pe 3:1; 1Pe 3:5-6.].

This may be thought to sound harsh by those who are not accustomed to consider what the Scripture speaks on this subject: but it will not be thought so, if we contemplate what God has required,]

2.

Of husbands

[Your duty, is to love your wives, and never on any occasion to entertain an unkind feeling towards them. A proud, haughty, imperious carriage towards them is most offensive to God, who will regard every harsh, bitter, or contemptuous expression towards them as an abuse of your authority and a violation of his commands. Though he has constituted you lords, he has not authorized you to be tyrants; but requires you to be precisely such lords over your wives, as Christ is over his Church. You are to govern, it is true; but you are to govern only for the good of the wife: you are to seek only, and at all times, her best interests, and to promote to the utmost of your power her real happiness. You must not require any thing unreasonable at her hands, nor ever fail to recompense with testimonies of your love the efforts which she makes to please you. Nor must you merely endeavour to render her happy, but you must be ready to make great sacrifices for this end. What the Lord Jesus Christ has done for his Church, is set forth as the proper model and pattern of your duty towards your wife: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave himself for it. O! what an example is here! Methinks, no wife would complain of the obedience that is required of her, if the authority of her husband were exercised in such a way as this: on the contrary, obedience on her part would be her chief delight. Know then, ye husbands, that this is the duty assigned to you: if your wives are to be obedient, as the Church is to Christ, ye also on your part are to be loving, even as Christ is to the Church. Your wives should be to you as your own flesh. Now no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord does the Church [Note: Eph 5:28-29; Eph 5:33.]: and precisely in the same way should you exercise all imaginable tenderness towards your wives, and be as careful of paining them as you would be of suffering any thing to wound the apple of your eye.]

Next to the duties of husbands and wives will naturally follow those,

II.

Of parents and children

Here again we are called, in the first place, to notice those of the inferior:

1.

Of children

[Obedience is your duty also: nor is there any limit to the exercise of this duty, except where you are required to violate a command of God. Reason indeed is sufficient to teach you this: for your own ignorance and inexperience must of necessity direct you to look up to your parents for instruction and guidance. But revelation teaches you to regard the authority of your parents as Gods authority, and to consider obedience to them as obedience to him. In fulfilling the commands of parents, there should be no reluctance: on the contrary, to please, and serve, and honour his parents should be the desire and delight of every child. He should have no wish to shake off their yoke; no desire to act independently of them. Nor let this be thought hard: for God has annexed a special promise to the fulfilment of this duty: the command relating to it is said to be the first commandment with promise [Note: Eph 6:1-3.]; and it is generally to be observed, that the blessing of God does rest in a more especial manner, throughout the whole of their lives, on those who have honoured and obeyed their earthly parents. This may be accounted for on natural principles; for the dispositions which are exercised in filial obedience argue a degree of sell-government, which will go far to render a man both amiable and prosperous in every situation and condition of life. But besides this, the blessing of God will assuredly rest on such characters; and He, as the universal Parent, will recompense into their bosom their compliance with this command.]

2.

Of parents

[Both in the text, and in the parallel passage in the Epistle to the Ephesians, there is a restraint laid on parents with regard to the exercise of their authority: it is not to be attended with harshness or severity, lest they provoke their children to anger, and discourage them from attempting to fulfil their duty, under the idea, that, whatever efforts they may use to please their parents, it will he a hopeless task. Parents have much to answer for, when they produce such an effect as this on their childrens minds. If on the one hand it be said, that there is much folly in the heart of a child, and that the rod of correction must drive it out, it must be remembered, on the other hand, that the mind of a child may soon be cast down, and that we may by harsh restrictions and undue severity augment that very rebellion which we endeavour to subdue. There can be no doubt but that many parents harden their childrens hearts against their authority in the first instance, and ultimately against the authority of God himself, purely by the tyranny which they exercise, and by the continual irritations which they occasion [Note: That is an humiliating view which the Apostle gives of parents, but, alas! how true in too many instances! Heb 12:10.]: and in the last day they will be found, in too many instances, the prime movers, and the real causes of their childrens eternal ruin. Fathers, be upon your guard respecting this; and instead of thus driving your children to despondency, endeavour to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord [Note: Eph 6:4.]. See in what way God dealeth with his children, how he bears with their infirmities, and consults their best interests [Note: Psa 103:8-13.]: so should you do [Note: 1Th 2:11.], and, like Abraham of old, be solicitous only for their eternal welfare [Note: Gen 18:19.].]

There is yet one other relation specified in the text, namely, that,

III.

Of masters and servants

It has pleased God that there should be different ranks and orders of society, and that to each should be assigned appropriate duties. We notice those,

1.

Of servants

[Your rank in society is ordered of the Lord: nor, when you hear in what light you are viewed by him, will you see any reason to repine at it. By virtue of your office you are required to obey those who are your masters according to the flesh: and to obey them cheerfully too, and without reserve. Nor in the discharge of this duty are you to act in the absence of your master any otherwise than you would in his immediate presence: you are to render obedience in singleness of heart, as unto Christ; not with eye-service, as men-pleasers, but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart [Note: Eph 6:5-6.]. What an elevated view does this give of your situation and employments! You appear to be servants of men: and so indeed you are: but you are servants of the Lord Jesus Christ: and it is your privilege to consider yourselves as living in his service, as much as if he were to come down to sojourn again on earth, and to admit you into the number of his domestics. Whatever your particular office be, you are privileged, so to speak, as altogether to forget your servitude to man, and to consider yourselves as performing the office of angels in the service of your God and Saviour. It is your privilege also to expect your wages from him. What you receive from man, is for your body only: but you shall have wages for your soul also, even the reward of an eternal inheritance [Note: See the text.]. This is represented as the state even of slaves, and of those who were called to serve Jewish or Heathen masters: how much more then is it the happy state of you who live in Christian families, and especially where God in Christ Jesus is loved and feared! Yes, whether ye be bond or free, your Master, your work, your wages are the same [Note: Eph 6:8.]. Act then agreeably to this exalted view of your station. Even though you should have froward and unkind masters, still act the same: and, if your work is thereby rendered the more difficult, your reward shall be proportionably advanced [Note: 1Pe 2:18-20.].]

2.

Of masters

[As your servants are to put you in the place of Christ, so are you to be as in the place of Christ to them: and exactly such a muster as he, if in your place, would be, such are ye to be to those who are under your command. Would he never be unreasonable in his expectations or commands? So neither are ye to be. Would he be kind and indulgent? So must ye be. Would he delight to make his servants happy; and would he consult in all things their eternal welfare? So are you to act, doing in your station the same thing tn them, as they in theirs are required to do to you [Note: Eph 6:9.]. Especially must you forbear all threatening words or looks; remembering that you also have a Master in heaven, with whom there is no respect of persons, and who, as their avenger, will call you to an account for all acts of unkindness or oppression towards the meanest of mankind. In a word, see how your God directs and governs you; and let him be your model for your government of those whom he has graciously committed to your care.]

We may see here,
1.

The extent and excellence of true religion

[Religion enters into every situation and relation of life. It finds the whole world disordered like a body, every joint of which from head to foot is dislocated: but by its operation on the hearts of men it sets every joint in its place, and diffuses through the whole a divine unction, whereby every joint is set at liberty, and performs with ease its proper functions. Those in a higher and more honourable station despise not those which are lower and less honourable; neither are they envied by them: but each occupies with content and satisfaction the place assigned it by its Maker, and finds its own happiness in contributing, according to its ability, to the good of the whole. If it be said, that these effects are not visible in the world, even amongst those who profess religion; I answer, that this only shews how little there is of true religion in the world. The first ages of the Church display in all its beauty the native tendency of Christianity: and, if the same effects are nut alike visible now, it is not owing to any want of efficiency in religion itself, but to the low state of religion in the world. In proportion as vital godliness prevails, it does, and ever must, manifest its practical influence upon the heart and life.]

2.

The importance of studying the character of Christ

[Christ ought to be well known to us in his work and offices as the Saviour of the world. But we must not confine our attention to his mediatorial work: we must also contemplate him as an example which we are to follow in every part of our conduct both towards God and man. Behold him as a son and a servant; what an entire devotion was there in him to his Fathers will! It was his meat and drink to do it. View him also as the Husband and Lord of his Church; what inconceivable love and kindness does he exercise towards her at all times, notwithstanding her innumerable defects! Let us then study his character; and whether we move in the higher or inferior relation, let it be the one aim of our lives to walk in his steps, and to follow his example.]

3.

The way in which to judge of our spiritual attainments

[Religion is a practical thing, and is intended, as we have shewn, to make us fill to advantage every relation in life. Now I grant that there are many who discharge in a most commendable manner their relative duties, whilst yet they have no regard for God in their hearts. Consequently, I cannot exactly say, that the fulfilment of relative duties will stamp you as religious characters: but this I must say, that the not discharging of these aright will prove to demonstration, either that your religion is altogether vain, or that it is at a very low ebb indeed. But supposing that there be no manifest neglect of these duties, I would ask, How much is there of God in them? Is the authority which you either obey or exercise, regarded as Gods? Is his will considered as the rule of all that you do, and his glory as the end? Here is the point to be inquired into: it is this which makes your actions pleasing and acceptable to him: and I may add, that it is this which will make obedience easy and delightful to yourselves. Habituate yourselves then to realize the thought, that it is Christ whom you serve, or in whose place you stand whilst others are serving you. So shall your whole deportment become exquisitely pure, and holy, and refined; and you will adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things.]

Fuente: Charles Simeon’s Horae Homileticae (Old and New Testaments)

(18) Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. (19) Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. (20) Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. (21) Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. (22) Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: (23) And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; (24) Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance; for ye serve the Lord Christ. (25) But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done; and there is no respect of persons.

I do not think it necessary to swell our pages, with enlarging on what is so evidently plain in these verses. Paul having spoken to the Church in a general way; now addresseth himself personally to the individual members, in their relative situations. Wives, and Husbands, and Children, and Fathers, and Servants; are each called upon, to adorn the doctrine of God our Savior, in all things. And the elect of God, who are truly, and savingly called, are and must be, living instances of such things, wherever they are found. Look round every neighborhood, in every house, and family, and see if there be any, who are regenerated by the Holy Ghost; (and it is of such only Paul speaks, and to such as elect of God, he enjoins those things;) and sure I am, they are, and must be, eminent examples of believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity, 1Ti 4:12 . And the Apostle in the close of this chapter, gives the reason, or foundation of it: because whatsoever is done, in word, or deed, is done heartily as to the Lord, and not unto men. It is done, not from labors without, but grace within. Not in man’s strength, but the Lord’s. Oh! the blessedness of that sure, unerring principle, when God worketh in his elect, to whom he enjoins bowels of mercies, and in whom he new creates them; both to will, and to do, of his good pleasure. Then the child of God can say, and none but the child of God can ever say, I can do nothing by myself, but I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me, Phi 4:13 .

Fuente: Hawker’s Poor Man’s Commentary (Old and New Testaments)

VI

PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS ON COLOSSIANS

Col 3:18-4:18 .

In this chapter we take up the practical application of this letter. From Col 3:18-4:1 the exhortations relate to the family or home and are based on reciprocal relations. From relation arises obligation. These relations are husband and wife, parent and child, master and servant. The first two relations are natural, the third artificial.

God himself created the relation between husband and wife. He made them one in the beginning, himself performing the marriage ceremony. Adam was first made. Eve was derived from his body and soul. Hence the name, “woman,” meaning derived from man. This marriage relation is the basis of the home, the family. It was intended to be indissoluble. The New Testament permits only one ground for divorce. The sanctity of the bond cannot be maintained without regard to the reciprocal duties. There can be but one head to a family. The husband is that head. This involves subjection on the part of the wife. She must honor and obey, but it is not a slavish obedience. Her realm is the home. She lives in her husband and children. The husband must love his wife and be not bitter toward her. This thought is elaborated and illustrated in the accompanying letter to the Ephesians. As Christ loved the church and gave himself for it, so must husbands love their wives. Where this great love is extended by the husband it is easy for the wife to honor and obey, and the children born of the marriage will be a heritage of the Lord.

Children, too, are in subjection. They must honor and obey; that is the first commandment with a promise. This honor and obedience must be in letter, spirit, and form. A look or a gesture may disobey. Dr. Adam Clarke, the great Methodist commentator, says that his mother was a Scotch Presbyterian, famous for teaching and enforcing family discipline that on one occasion when commanded by her to do an unpleasant service, he obeyed, but looked disobedient. His mother caught the meaning of disrespect in his eye, and, shaking her finger in his face, quoted the proverb: “The eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young eagles shall eat it.” Her solemn denunciation impressed him much. Her words rang in his ears. Walking out alone in the woods, he was startled by the cry of a raven overhead, “Caw! Caw! Caw!” His mother’s words burned in his mind like fire, and, placing his hands over his face, he ran back home, crying out: “Oh, my eyes, my eyes, let not the ravens pick out my eyes!” But the law binds not the child alone. The parent must not provoke the child. Many a child has become discouraged in honoring and obeying parents by their provocations.

These exhortations on the sanctity of family ties were very pertinent to the matter in hand. The false philosophy prevalent at Colosse discountenanced marriage and the raising of children, as tending to sin. Their selfish delusion was that the escape from sin was to be found in abstinence from marriage and retreat from social claims to the solitude of a cave. While a few free lovers have denounced what they call the bondage of marriage, and while the trend of modern society is to multiply causes for divorce, yet, on the whole, the common sense of mankind honors both the sacred institution of marriage and the mutual laws governing marriage and children. They respect the New Testament declaration that “He that provideth not for his own hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.”

But some over pious people have taken great offense at the gospel because it does not peremptorily inculcate the abolition of slavery, and incite to servile insurrection. They greatly mistake the purpose of the gospel. It did not undertake to be a political and revolutionary force. It came to serve religious ends. It would have perished in the beginning if it had pronounced on forms of political government or the legality of social conditions. Whenever its legislation touched a social or political evil, it was to ameliorate its harshness, but it relied mainly on the leavening power of its great principles. Slavery abounded everywhere. It taught the slave God’s care for him and led him into spiritual freedom. It taught him to be honest, industrious, conscientious, as living unto his Lord. It revealed to him that God, unlike man, is no respecter of persons, and held out for his patient hope the heritage of the world to come. It laid a restraining hand upon the Christian master, curbing his passions, enjoying justice and mercy in the treatment of the slave, and called upon him to remember, first, that he was Christ’s bondman, and, second, that in Christ there were no distinctions between the bond and the free. Thus indirectly, by the leavening power of its principles, it is reforming all evils of government and society, and will ultimately purge the earth of all wickedness of whatever kind.

The exhortations pass from these social relations to inculcate the habit of thankful prayer, suggesting as a special object of petition his own case. But he solicits on his behalf no selfish gain, only “that God may open to him a door for the word” and that when it is open he may unveil the mystery of the gospel “as he ought to speak.” These two objects of prayer, repeated in the letter to the Ephesians, are very suggestive. He conceives of prayer as able to influence the workings of Providence, and to influence the Spirit’s power on his own heart. In view of them, let us take heed that we fall into no infidel attitude concerning prayer, nor raise in our minds the doubt, “What profits shall we have if we Pray unto him?” They also suggest that if an inspired apostle deeply felt the need and longed for the power of the prayers of his brethren, how foolish in us to discount so valuable a service.

From devotions we pass to outward walk and speech. “Walk in wisdom before them that are without.” How little are Christians sensible of the fact that they all, as well as the apostles, are “a spectacle to the angels,” to demons, and to men. What a text for preachers! “Them that are without.” Note the frequency of the phrase and its several contexts, for example, Mar 4:11 ; 1Co 5:13 ; 1Ti 3:7 . Indeed it is a qualification of the preacher that “he have a good report of them that are without.” Apart from the exact form of the phrase are many passages embodying the thought in other words. Moreover, as words count as much as conduct with “them that are without,” “let your speech be always with grace seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer each one.” The outside world bristles with interrogation points toward Christians and Christianity. How often we injure the cause by injudicious answers. How closely Peter follows Paul’s lead in this exhortation: “Ready always to give answer to every man that asketh you a reason concerning the hope that is in you, yet with meekness and fear” (1Pe 3:15 ).

Concerning these exhortations on family duties, devotions, outward walk and speech, observe, first, how close the connection between Colossians and Ephesians, and, second, how uniform the teaching by all the New Testament writers and speakers on all these grave matters. Compare, for example, on husbands and wives, Paul’s teaching in these prison letters (Col 3:18-19 ; Eph 5:22-23 ) with Peter’s (1Pe 3:7 ) writing later to the same people in part. The letter refers them to its bearers, Tychicus and Onesimus, for detailed information of his state and work.

In the salutation he distinguished between his Jewish and Gentile companions in labor. Aristarchus, Mark, and Justus are Jewish Christians, while Luke, Demas, and Epaphras are Gentiles. It is gratifying to note that he takes pleasure in the association and cooperation of Mark. Evidently in some way his mind toward Mark is changed since his refusal to let him be a companion on his second missionary tour (Act 15:37-40 ). We have no evidence of the ground of the reconciliation, and so cannot say whether Paul revised his original judgment, or Mark evinced repentance for his former abandonment.

In the first letter from Peter, written a few years later from Babylon to these same Colossians, he reports that both Silas and Mark, with others, are with him. In the separation Barnabas took Mark and Paul took Silas. Peter has fallen heir to both of the companions on that divided second missionary tour. We learn in these salutations that Luke was a physician, which many terms of his writings indicate, and that Epaphras was an evangelist who probably planted the three churches of the Lycus valley Colosse, Hierapolis, and Laodicea.

In his second imprisonment at Rome we find Paul complaining that the Demas he here commends had forsaken him, having loved this present world (2Ti 4:10 ). And what a difference in his own salutation when 2 Timothy is written! Only Luke is with him. He urges Timothy to come and bring Mark. Tychicus had been sent to Ephesus.

In his directions we find a household church in Hierapolis as well as in Colosse. We find more than one of these churches in Rome. Doubtless these churches in private homes came about from the fact that they had no public meetinghouse for all the churches in a city, and services were held in the home of some leading brother or sister who could afford the most room.

The number of these churches in one city is a disproof of the now current theory that in apostolic times all Christians of a metropolis were in one church organization, presided over by a leading bishop, with subordinate bishops supplying the various sub-congregations, assembling in different parts of the city.

As bearing upon this point Rev. W. T. Whitley, in delivering the “Gay Lectures” before the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary on the topic, “The Story of Missions in Five Continents,” special topic, “Expansion in America and Australia,” has this to say, as reported in The Review and Expositor, January, Colossians 1908:

Look next at church organization. To these shores were transplanted from Britain three patterns, monarchical, aristocratic, democratic. Already a Methodist Episcopal has been produced an ingenious crossing of two of these. Always in Tasmania the Baptist leaders examined their Bibles to see if Baptist traditions were absolutely in harmony with New Testament principle; whether a few baptized believers who build a house for prayer and praise, paying a few men and women to conduct it, with one pastor at the head, form a “church” on divine right, on a necessary pattern. They decide not, and all the Baptists in the island form really one community, with the ministers the ministers of the whole body. Church extension and matters of general interest are decided by the whole, and selfish isolation is discouraged. The same question occurs to a minister in this town, and he asked whether New Testament precedent did not point to a single church of Louisville, like the church of Ephesus or Corinth. American conservatism frowned down the heretic, and he sought refuge at Rome. But the same question has again been raised in Britain, the president of the Baptist Union stating as his New Year’s message that our usual plan is at best of human origin, and not ordered in scripture, while many of its developments are absolutely anti-scriptural. For the next few years English Baptists are likely to inquire diligently whether the congregational system blindly adopted by Robert Browne is the last word in organization, or whether the New Testament does not show us all the baptized believers in a town forming one church, with a plurality of elders both to teach and to administer business, and probably many houses for worship. Indeed, in one great town this system is just being tried, and the question has been ventilated by papers at our last session of the Baptist Union.

As further illustration of the dangerous trend, I cite a letter from The Argus . The title of the letter is: “The Baptist Outlook in Great Britain,” by J. H. Shakespeare. Under the head of “Ministerial Recognition” the writer gives as news:

The regular door into the Baptist ministry is through one of our recognized theological colleges. Hitherto as soon as a student left college and became the pastor of a church, his name was placed on the list of “accredited ministers” in The Baptist Handbook. This recognition, as it was called, carried with it the right to share in the Annuity Fund, and other privileges of membership with the Baptist Union. The pastors who entered the ministry without first passing through one of the recognized colleges were required to pass two examinations before being placed upon the accredited list of the Baptist Union. At our last spring assembly, however, a new scheme of ministerial recognition was all but unanimously adopted, and our pastors are henceforth to be divided into two sections, probationers and recognized ministers. Collegiates who receive satisfactory certificates from their college principals will be at once placed upon the probationers’ list, and noncollegiates will have the same privilege on passing one examination. All ministers on the probationers’ list, whether collegiate or noncollegiate, will be required to pass a Baptist Union examination, and to submit satisfactory proof as to their pastoral efficiency before their names can be transferred to the accredited list, and they then become recognized ministers. It is hoped that these new regulations will, to some extent, guard the portals to the ministry, and make it more possible to infer that if a man is a Baptist minister he shall not only be spiritually qualified, but also be an educated person.

These two extracts indicate a most dangerous trend. The first surrenders the old-time definition of a church, not only advocating the metropolitan idea but the provincial idea of a church. The second goes to a greater extreme. An association of purely human origin assumes to “guard the portals of the ministry” to divide them into classes of probationers and accredited into collegiates and noncollegiates, usurps the church prerogative of subjecting to its examination, and seeks to limit the ministry to “educated persons.”

The stupendous folly of the whole business, its suicidal unscripturalness, becomes apparent by applying the rule to New Testament apostles, evangelists, and pastors, and to past Baptist history. God forbid that we should follow the English Baptists!

The direction about exchange of letters between Colosse and Laodicea (Col 4:16 ) throws light on two points: (1) That m all probability the letter from Laodicea was the letter which we call Ephesians. (2) We learn how New Testament manuscripts were passed around before there was a collection of them into one book or library. And how some lists, after collections were formed, and even some earlier versions, did not have all the New Testament books. We note also in the directions that Archippus, son of Philemon, was a minister, and one, too that need to be stirred up somewhat in the line of duty. The reader will note the usual attestation of Paul’s letters by his autograph signature, a habit adopted since he wrote his first letter, caused by report of forged letters in his name.

QUESTIONS

1. Where does the practical part of this letter commence, and what reciprocal relations expressed in Col 3:18-4:1 ?

2. What is the character of these relations, and what arises from them?

3. Who is the author of the relation between husband and wife, what the history and nature of this relation?

4. How may the sanctity of the marriage relation be maintained, and what does this involve?

5. Where do we find the subject of the marriage relation elaborated and illustrated, and what the essential points in the discussion there?

6. What injunction here for children, and what, in detail, the striking illustration given?

7. What is the special application of the exhortations on the sanctity of family ties to the Colossians?

8. What are the gospel’s attitude toward the institution of slavery, and what special precepts here touching this subject?

9. What are the lessons here on prayer?

10. What are the lessons on outward walk and speech?

11. How does this teaching harmonize with other New Testament teaching on the same subject, and what the proof?

12. Who were the bearers of this letter, and what trust did Paul commit to them besides this letter?

13. What distinction does Paul here make in his salutation, what gratifying bit of information here relative to Mark, and what the probable ground of this reconciliation?

14. What information touching these brethren from Peter, and what information about Luke and Epaphras found in this closing salutation?

15. What is here said of Demas, what is said of him in a later letter, and what the lesson?

16. What are some modern ideas of the church, and what the bearing of the household churches referred to here and in Romans on such ideas?

17. What is Rev. W. T. Whitley’s position on this and kindred questions J. H. Shakespeare’s idea of the ministry?

18. What is the fault with each of these positions, respectively?

19. What light here on important matters from Col 4:16-18 ?

Fuente: B.H. Carroll’s An Interpretation of the English Bible

18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

Ver. 18. Wives, submit yourselves ] Inferiors are ordered before superiors to teach them to do duty before they expect it. Love descendeth, duty ascendeth. Submit is a short word, but of large extent. It comprehendeth, 1. Reverence; “Let the wife see that she reverence her husband,” Eph 5:33 , as Sarah did, and is chronicled for it,1Pe 3:61Pe 3:6 . But God hath a barren womb for mocking Michal. 2. Obedience to all his lawful commands and restraints, as the Shunammite, 2Ki 4:22 , and the Shulamite, who lives by Christ’s laws, and yields to his will, direction, and discretion.

As it is fit ] Ut decet, as it is comely; and women love comeliness, delight to be neat. Hereby shall appear comely, first, to God, 1Pe 3:4 . Next, to men in the gate, Pro 31:23 ; Pro 31:31 . Thirdly, to their husbands and children, Pro 31:28 . Fourthly, to all, even opposites, as being an ornament to sincerity and holiness, Tit 2:3 .

In the Lord ] Though the husband’s will be crooked (so it be not wicked), the wife’s will is not straight in God’s sight, if not pliable to his. Sed liberum arbitrium, pro quo tantopere contenditur, viri amiserunt, uxores arripuerunt, saith an author.

Fuente: John Trapp’s Complete Commentary (Old and New Testaments)

18 . ] The verb is in the imperfect as and , conveying always in its form a slight degree of blame, as implying the non-realization of the duty pointed out just as when we say, ‘It was your duty to,’ &c. See Winer, 40. 3, end. The words belong to , not to ; as is shewn by the parallel expression in Col 3:20 ; was fitting, in that element of life designated by .

Fuente: Henry Alford’s Greek Testament

18 4:1 .] SPECIAL EXHORTATIONS TO RELATIVE SOCIAL DUTIES: Col 3:18-19 , to the married : Col 3:20-21 , to children and parents : Col 3:22 to Col 4:1 , to slaves and masters . Seeing that such exhortations occur in Ephesians also in terms so very similar, we are not justified, with Chrys., al., in assuming that there was any thing in the peculiar circumstances of the Colossian church, which required more than common exhortation of this kind. It has been said, that it is only in Epistles addressed to the Asiatic churches, that such exhortations are found: but in this remark the entirely general character of the Epistle to the Ephesians is forgotten. Besides, the exhortations of the Epistle to Titus cannot be so completely severed from these as to be set down in another category, as Eadie has endeavoured to do. See throughout the section, for such matters as are not remarked on, the notes to Eph 5:22 to Eph 6:9 .

Fuente: Henry Alford’s Greek Testament

Col 3:18 . has been taken as a perfect in sense of present (Luther, Bleek, Ol.), a view said by Winer to be “as unnecessary as it is grammatically inadmissible” (Winer-Moulton, 9 p. 338). Usually it is taken as an imperfect, “as was fitting,” and is thought (but this is very dubious) to imply a reproach. Probably . is to be joined to it, not to . ( cf. Col 3:20 ).

Fuente: The Expositors Greek Testament by Robertson

Col 3:18 to Col 4:1 . ENFORCEMENT OF THE RECIPROCAL DUTIES OF WIVES AND HUSBANDS, CHILDREN AND PARENTS, SLAVES AND MASTERS, WITH FREQUENT REFERENCE TO THESE DUTIES AS INVOLVED IN THEIR DUTY TO CHRIST. In this section the reference to the subject precedes that to the ruling parties, and the duty of obedience is emphasised to prevent false inferences from the doctrine that natural distinctions are done away in Christ. Holtzmann, Oltramare and Weiss think these precepts are added in protest against the false teachers’ asceticism. The fact that we have similar, and fuller, injunctions in Ephesians tells against this. Eph 5:22 sq. and 1Pe 3:6 may be compared.

Fuente: The Expositors Greek Testament by Robertson

NASB (UPDATED) TEXT: Col 3:18-21

18Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them. 20Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. 21Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.

Col 3:18 “Wives, be subject to your husbands” This is a present middle imperative. When the word of Christ (i.e., the Spirit-filled life, cf. Eph 5:18) indwells a believer it impacts every area of life! The parallels are Eph 5:21-22; Tit 2:5; 1Pe 3:1, but remember Colossians was written first. Ephesians expresses the universal principle of submission for all believers in Eph 5:21 (present middle participle) and uses the Christian home as a three-fold domestic example of how the “Spirit-filled” life works in daily life: (1) husbands-wives, Eph 5:22-31; (2) parents-children, epg 6:1-4 and (3) masters-slaves, Eph 6:5-9. This discussion seems negative to us today, but in its day it was strikingly positive. The three groups that had total cultural control (husbands, parents, and slave masters) are equally admonished as were those with no civic power or rights (wives, children, and slaves). This selfless mandate is an example of the reversal of the Fall. What a difference Christ makes. See Special Topic: Submission (hupotass) at Eph 5:21.

Col 3:18-19 In this context and its parallels, submission was between married couples, not men and women in general. The principle of male headship is stated throughout the Bible, from Genesis 3 onward. However, Christian male headship is characterized by, and commanded (present active imperative) to be, sacrificial, self-giving, Christlike love (cf. Eph 5:25; Eph 5:28-29). Headship in the NT is servanthood (cf. Mat 20:25-27; Mat 23:11) with Christ as the model.

In our day “submission” is a negative, sexist term. Originally it was a military term that related to obedience based on the chain of command. In the NT, however, it was often used of Jesus’ attitude toward His earthly parents (cf. Luk 2:51) and His heavenly Father (cf. 1Co 15:28). Paul was fond of this term and used it 23 times. Eph 5:21 shows it is a universal spiritual principle connected to the Spirit-filled life. Submission goes against our cultural, western, individual focused mind-set. Selfishness is so ingrained (cf. Rom 12:10; Gal 5:13; Php 2:3; 1Jn 4:11)! See Special Topic: Submission at Eph 5:21.

“as is fitting in the Lord” The Ephesian parallel has “as to the Lord.” The TEV translates the phrase as “for that is what you should do as Christians” (cf. Col 3:20). Believers should treat others in loving, submitting ways not because others deserve it, but because they are Christians (cf. Col 3:23-23). The Spirit allows fallen mankind to redirect his self-centeredness into others-centeredness, as Jesus did (cf. 2Co 5:14-15; 1Jn 3:16).

Col 3:19

NASB”and do not be embittered against them”

NKJV”and do not be bitter toward them”

NRSV”and never treat them harshly”

TEV”and do not be harsh with them”

NJB”and do not be sharp with them”

This is a present middle imperative with a negative particle, which usually means to stop an act in process. “You, yourselves, stop being bitter.” There is no direct parallel to the phrase in Ephesians 5, but 3:28-29 express the same truth in a positive sense. In the biblical context of “one flesh” (cf. Genesis 2) marriages in which husbands treat their wives in loving ways, they bless themselves and vise versa. Loving one’s spouse is, in one sense, loving oneself. In the Christian home our love for family reflects our love for God and is a powerful witness to a confused and hurting lost world.

Col 3:20 “Children, be obedient” This is a present active imperative, “continue to be obedient.” In Eph 6:1-4, this mandate is expanded to relate to Exo 20:12 and Deu 5:16, “Honor your father and mother.” In this context, “for this is well pleasing to the Lord” relates the command to Christian children.

Notice that children are commanded to be obedient, but wives are commanded to submit. In both cases it is Christian families that are addressed. One issue that is difficult to reconcile between this and our day is “How old are children?” In Jewish culture a boy became responsible to the Law and was marriageable at age thirteen, a girl at twelve. In Roman culture a boy became a man at age fourteen and in Greek culture at age eighteen.

Col 3:21 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children” This is a present active imperative with a negative particle which means stop an act in process, “stop exasperating your children.” The reciprocal responsibility is clear (cf. Eph 6:4).

There has always been a generational barrier. Christians (both parents and children) should handle relationships differently because of their ultimate commitment to Christ. Paul’s discussion of the appropriate relationships in the home were radically different from the cultural norm of his day. Paul directly addressed the person with cultural power and authority (husbands, parents, and slave masters) and admonished them to treat those under them (wives, children, and domestic servants) with dignity and Christian love (much like Philemon). Believers are stewards of God, not owners! How we treat each other is meant to demonstrate the new age to a lost world.

Fuente: You Can Understand the Bible: Study Guide Commentary Series by Bob Utley

submit.See Eph 5:22.

husbands. App-123.

fit. See Eph 5:4.

Fuente: Companion Bible Notes, Appendices and Graphics

18. ] The verb is in the imperfect-as and , conveying always in its form a slight degree of blame, as implying the non-realization of the duty pointed out-just as when we say, It was your duty to, &c. See Winer, 40. 3, end. The words belong to , not to ; as is shewn by the parallel expression in Col 3:20; was fitting, in that element of life designated by .

Fuente: The Greek Testament

Col 3:18 to Col 4:1. , …, wives, etc.) Eph 5:22 to Eph 6:9.- , in the Lord) These words are construed with , submit yourselves; comp. Eph 6:1 : or else with , as it is fit; comp. in this view Col 3:20, unless , obey, Col 3:20, be there likewise construed with . It may be construed either way.

Fuente: Gnomon of the New Testament

Col 3:18

Col 3:18

Wives, be in subjection to your husbands-It is fit or proper that the wife submit herself to her husband so far as she can do it in the Lord, or without disobedience to God. God ordained from the beginning that the husband should be the head of the household. The Holy Spirit says: In like manner, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, even if any obey not the word, they may without the word be gained by the behavior of their wives; beholding your chaste behavior coupled with fear. (1Pe 3:1-2). It is proper for the wife to show what she regards as right, then to submit to his decisions. She may influence, but not control him.

as is fitting in the Lord.-This is what God has ordained, and it is fitting that those who are in the Lord should observe his order. [The holy and mysterious union of man and woman in marriage is fashioned in the likeness of the only union which is closer and more mysterious than itself-that between Christ and the church. (Eph 5:32-33). Such then as is the subjection of the church to Christ, such will be the nature of the wifes subjection to the husband-a subjection of which love is the very soul and animating principle. In a true marriage, as in loving obedience to a loving soul to Christ, the wife submits not because she has found a master, but because her heart has found its rest. For its full satisfaction, a womans heart needs to look up where it loves. Since then a womans love is in general nobler, purer, more unselfish than a mans and therein quite as much as in physical constitution, is laid the foundation of the divine ideal of marriage, which places the wifes delight and dignity in sweet loving subjection. Of course the subjection has its limitations, for it is bound by: We must obey God rather than men. (Act 5:29).]

Where the husband and wife are both earnest Christians seeking to do the will of God, in whose hearts there is real mutual affection and esteem, there will be no difficulty whatever in regard to such an admonition as this; but it will require grace to yield loving obedience when perhaps the husband is a carnal, worldly, and unreasonable man, and yet we need to remember that the marriage relationship is divinely ordained, and for the Christian woman, this relation once formed, there is no other position in conformity with the will of God than that of godly submission to the husband whom she herself has chosen. The present loose ideas in regard to easy divorce and remarriage to another are bearing fearful fruit which will increase unto more ungodliness, until there will be duplicated the corruption and vileness of the days before the flood and the unspeakable vileness and immoralities of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. Of all this the Lord Jesus has warned us most solemnly. For one to seek to dissolve the marriage relationship because of incompatibility of temperament is to trample under foot the instructions of the Lord Jesus Christ. Death, or what is equivalent to it, adultery of husband or wife, is the only scriptural ground for the termination of the marriage contract, leaving the innocent party free to remarry. (Mat 19:9).

Fuente: Old and New Testaments Restoration Commentary

Home and Business Relations

Col 3:18-25; Col 4:1

From these high flights into the eternal and divine, Paul turns to the daily duties of the home, and demands that in the simplest domestic concerns the disciple should ever keep in mind the high claims of Christ. No act of life can be left outside the sacred enclosure of His everlasting love. As the moon affects the tides around the world, even in the smallest indentations of the coast, so must the power of Christs resurrection make itself felt in the behavior of the servant and the child.

It is especially beautiful to notice the Apostles constant reference to the bond-slaves who formed so important an element in the early Church. There they learned that in Christ all souls were free, and that in Him also master and slave were brethren. Stealing out at night from the arduous labors of his lot, many a poor slave would return with new conceptions of his daily tasks, to be applied to the service rendered to his Lord. No angel in heavens high temple has more definite service to the King than any honest and industrious servant may daily render to Jesus. Here is the dignity of labor indeed! And, masters, remember your Master.

Fuente: F.B. Meyer’s Through the Bible Commentary

Chapter 14 The Earthly Relationships of the New Man

Col 3:18-25; Col 4:1

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: and whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons. Masters, give unto your servants that which is just and equal; knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven. (3:18-4:1)

In these verses the Holy Spirit, who, as we have seen, is Himself not mentioned in this epistle save incidentally in verse 8 of chapter 1, gives us instruction in regard to the sanctification of the natural, or earthly, relationships of the new man. It would be a great mistake to suppose, as some have done, that because we are members of the new creation we need no longer consider ordinary human ties or responsibilities. While it is quite true that in the new creation there is neither male nor female, bond nor free, but all are one in Christ Jesus, it is important to remember that our bodies belong to the old creation still. It will not be until the redemption of the body at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our gathering together unto Him that we shall be above the natural relationships in which we stand to one another as men and women here in the world.

Even in the church of God these human distinctions hold good as we are reminded in the epistles to the Corinthians and to Timothy and Titus. To say as some do that because there is neither male nor female in the new creation, we are to pay no attention to the divinely given order pertaining to the respective places of man and woman in the church of God on earth is not only to go beyond Scripture but is positive disobedience to the Word of God. As long as we are subject to human limitations, so long must we recognize our human responsibilities and seek to maintain these in a scriptural way in order that we may commend the gospel of Christ.

There is no condition in which the new life is more blessedly manifested than in circumstances sometimes hard for flesh and blood to endure, but where grace enables, brings triumph. A comparison of the instruction given in Colossians in the verses quoted above, with similar instruction in the epistle to the Ephesians, will show us that the apostle deals very briefly here with what he has taken up at much greater length there. The one epistle should be compared with the other, and both with similar teaching given in 1 Peter, in order that we may get the mind of God as fully revealed in regard to the great and important principles that govern our behavior.

It will be noticed that in each of the Scripture passages referred to the weaker is dealt with first, and then the stronger; or the one subject first, and then the one in authority. So here we have wives and husbands, then children and fathers, and lastly, servants and masters. Let us examine with some degree of care what the Holy Spirit says to each one.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Where husband and wife are both Christians seeking to do the will of God, in whose hearts there is real mutual affection and esteem, there will be no difficulty whatsoever in regard to such an admonition as this. But it will require true grace to yield loving obedience when perhaps the husband is a carnal, worldly, and unreasonable man. Yet we need to remember the marriage relationship is divinely ordained, and as the old wedding ceremony puts it, not to be lightly entered into and according to the Word of God not easily to be terminated. For better, for worse, until death do us part, are words often flippantly uttered with no real conception of their seriousness.

For the Christian woman this relationship once entered into there is no other position in conformity with the will of God than that of godly submission to the husband whom she herself has chosen. The present loose ideas in regard to easy divorce are bearing fearful fruit which will increase unto more ungodliness as the end draws near, until there will be duplicated in Christendom the corruption and vileness of the days before the flood and the unspeakable immoralities of the cities of the plain. Of all this our blessed Lord has warned us most solemnly. For one to seek to dissolve the marriage relationship because of incompatibility of temperament is to fly in the face of the Word of the living God. Death, or what is equivalent to it, the infidelity of husband or wife, is the only scriptural ground for termination of the marriage contract, leaving the other party free to remarry.

It is true that 1Co 7:11 would imply that there may be circumstances in which no self-respecting woman could continue to live in this relationship, because of unspeakable cruelty or abominable conditions which would be ruinous to soul and body alike. But if she departs she is to remain unmarried, and if conditions change, she may be reconciled to her husband. But so long as she remains with him she is responsible to recognize his headship as the one appointed by God to provide for the family, and even though conditions may sometimes be very distressing, she is to seek to win her wayward spouse by manifesting the grace of Christ.

As it is fit in the Lord, suggests that gracious demeanor which ever characterized Him while He was in this scene, and also that her submission and obedience will never be such as to injure conscience or dishonor the Lord. In this she must act as before God, for after all, hers is the submission of a wife and not of a slave. It is loyalty to him who is her head that is enjoined.

In verse 19 we read, Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. And, right here, how many husbands fail! Imperiously demanding submission from the wife, how little do they show the love of Christ in their dealings with those thus dependent upon them! The Christian husband is to accept his place of headship as a sacred responsibility put upon him by God Himself and is to exercise his authority for the blessing of his home in the love of Christ. And just as some wives may be united to tyrannical and unreasonable men, so there are husbands who, after marriage, find that one who in days of courtship seemed so docile and affectionate is a veritable termagant and as unreasonable as it is possible to be. But still the husband is to love and care for her, showing all consideration, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, as Peter puts it, without indulging in wrath or anger. How much is involved in the exhortation, Be not bitter against them. God knew how petty and trying some womens ways would be when He said to good men, Be not bitter against them. In the power of the new life one may manifest patience and grace under the most trying circumstances.

Now we come to the injunction to children: Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. In childhood days parents stand in relation to their children as God Himself in relation to the parent. Children who do not obey their parents when young will not obey God when older. The natural heart is ever rebellious against authority, and perhaps never more strikingly has this been manifested than in these democratic days in which we live. But Christian children should be examples of godly submission to father and mother or whoever may be in authority over them, and parents are responsible to instill into their hearts the divine requirement of obedience. For young people professing piety, to ignore this principle of obedience is to manifest utter insubjection to the One they own as Lord.

But again we notice how carefully the Spirit of God guards all this when He says, Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Parental rule may be of such a character as to fill the growing boy or girl with indignation and contempt instead of drawing out the young heart in love and obedience. How easy it is, when come to manhood, to forget the feelings of a child, and so to implant in the hearts of the little ones resentment instead of tender affection. Surely this is contrary to every instinct of the new man. The Christian father is to imitate Him who is our Father-God.

It is when He addresses the servants that he goes into the greatest details. These, in the days when this epistle was written, were slaves and not free men who served for wages, but if such instruction as we have here was applicable to bondmen, how much more does it apply to those who have the privilege of selling their services and of terminating engagements at will. There is no excuse whatsoever for surly, dishonest service because perhaps the master or mistress may be exasperating and unappreciative. Notice the exhortation, Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God. How this glorifies the servants lowly path in whatsoever capacity he is called upon to labor for others. He is privileged to look at all his service as done unto the Lord Himself.

Thus he labors faithfully, not only under the masters eye, but when unseen by man. He carries on his appointed task conscientiously in singleness of heart, having the fear of God before his soul, according as it is written, And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men: knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: [because] ye serve the Lord Christ.

What a cheer was this to the Roman or Grecian slave, toiling on day after day with the most faithful ministrations taken perhaps but as a matter of course. Yet if all were done as to the Lord one could be sure that in the coming day, the day of manifestation, He Himself would reward accordingly, accepting all the service as done unto Him. On the other hand, if treated cruelly, and perhaps overreached and cheated out of the due reward of his labor, the Christian servant does well to remember that God is taking note of all, and a day is coming when every wrong will be put right. Things that can never be settled here in righteousness will have a full settlement then, for, He that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons. Whether it be the servant who is unfaithful or the master who is unappreciative, the Lord Himself will bring everything to light at His judgment seat, or in the case of the unsaved, at the Great White Throne, when every man shall be judged according to his works.

Fuente: Commentaries on the New Testament and Prophets

submit: Gen 3:16, Est 1:20, 1Co 11:3, 1Co 14:34, Eph 5:22-24, Eph 5:33, 1Ti 2:12, Tit 2:4, Tit 2:5, 1Pe 3:1-6

as: Act 5:29, Eph 5:3, Eph 6:1

Reciprocal: Rth 1:8 – the dead 1Ti 2:11 – General

Fuente: The Treasury of Scripture Knowledge

(Col 3:18.) , -Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands. The of the Received Text has no good authority, and some manuscripts, such as D1, E1, F, G, add , an evident gloss. The injunction has been fully considered under Eph 5:25-33, where it is enforced by a special argument, and a tender analogy derived from the conjugal relation of Christ and His church. The submission which is inculcated on the part of the wife is wholly different in source and form from that slavery which is found in heathen lands, for it is the willing acquiescence which springs out of social position and wedded love, and is dictated at once by a wife’s affection, and by her instinctive tendency to lean on her husband for support. The very satire which is heaped upon a wife who governs, or who attempts it, is a proof that society expects that fitting harmony of the hearth which the gospel recommends. The early and biblical idea of a wife as that of a help meet, implies that she was to be auxiliary-second, and not principal in the household. Thus unity of domestic administration was to be secured by oneness of headship.

The apostle subjoins as a reason- . Adopting a different punctuation, many, from Chrysostom to Winer and Schrader, join to the verb , as if the meaning were-be submissive in the Lord. The order of the words seems to forbid such an exegesis, and is united by its position to -as is fitting in the Lord. In the imperfect form or time of the verb is implied, according to Winer, an appropriate hint that it had not been so with them at all times. 40, 3; Bernhardy, 373. The translation then is-as it should be in the Lord. This obligation of submission commenced with their union to the Lord, sprang out of it, and had not yet been fully discharged. It is therefore not a duty which had only newly devolved upon them, but its propriety reached back to the point of their conversion. Their union with the Lord not only expounded the obligation, but also enforced it. Though the general strain of these exhortations be the same as in the Epistle to the Ephesians, there is usually some specific difference. In the other epistle he says, wives, be obedient to your own husbands as to the Lord, where points out the nature, and not simply, as Ellicott thinks, the aspect of the obedience enjoined. The spirit of the obedience is referred to in Ephesians, and the becomingness of that spirit in the clause before us. How different from heathen principles, either that of Aristotle-mores viri lex vitae; or that of Cato, as repeated by Livy, that wives are simply in manu virorum.

Fuente: Commentary on the Greek Text of Galatians, Ephesians, Colossians and Phillipians

Col 3:18. The relationship between God and Christians is a religious and spiritual one, yet He gives certain regulations regarding conduct of the disciples, in all of their relations and dealings with each other, in their various connections with social, political and industrial activities. The general law that should always prevail when a question is raised as to right and wrong in the cases to be mentioned soon, is stated in Act 5:29 as follows: “We ought to obey God rather than men.” That is why our present verse instructs wives to submit themselves unto their husbands as it is fit in the Lord. As long as a wife can obey her husband without violating any law of the Lord, it is her duty to do so.

Fuente: Combined Bible Commentary

Col 3:18. Wives, submit yourselves, etc. (The word own is to be omitted; it was inserted to conform with the parallel passage.) Comp. the similar exhortation, with the basis of it, in Eph 5:22-24 : The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church. The Bible everywhere recognizes the relation as of this character (from Gen 2:18-24 to Rev 22:17). Hence the submission is to be a loving one, with a Christian motive: As if fitting (as it should be) in the Lord. This means: as should be the case, in consequence of the fellowship with Jesus Christ.

Fuente: A Popular Commentary on the New Testament

Section 2. (Col 3:18-25; Col 4:1-6.)

The Relationships of life.

We have had the character of the new man put before us with a completeness which might make us think that the whole range of Christian duty was contained in it. What are we called to recognize or “put on,” but this new man?

But the new man is the man in Christ, and the place in Christ takes one outside of human distinctions; for “in Christ there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female” (Gal 3:28). And thus the most fundamental natural distinction seems to be set aside.

We have, however, to learn that Scripture is larger than our thoughts, and that the God of creation is that of redemption also. As long, therefore, as we are in the unchanged body of the old creation, we are subject to the ordinances which He has made for it. Doubtless also, there are higher purposes to be worked out in this way; but our point is now, the steadfast way in which God maintains His own thoughts, and will have us maintain and honor them. Husbands, wives, parents, children, are thus natural relationships established of God, and honorable in all, as the apostle says of marriage (Heb 13:4).

But there are other relations here which are not established of God, but have come in through sin, as that of master and slave: here one might expect that there could be nothing but (as among Christians at least) the prohibition absolutely of such. This is a matter important enough to be in effect (though not formally) the subject of a distinct epistle, which finds place as supplementary to this; we shall examine it, therefore, in that connection. Here, however, we see that the slave or bondman is addressed as such, and (what is more to the purpose) the master also.

After this there is insisted on the duty to those who are without, outside of Christian claim, but not of the all-embracing love which in Christ came after the lost, -a love to which we owe our every blessing also, who were all once outside, and among the lost. In this review of relationships, therefore, the apostle will not omit one that is so real as this, however different from, and indeed in contrast with all others,

1. Relationships ordained by the Creator come here first, and are indeed the shadow of higher and spiritual ones. This, however, which Ephesians develops so fully as to marriage, is not in any way referred to here. We have but brief exhortations, which are for the most part repetitions of those in Ephesians; we shall not do more, therefore, than point out how these repetitions emphasize what is the main responsibility in each case. Those who are in authority are to exercise it in love -a love that seeketh not its own; while it is for those under authority to yield obedience as to the Lord: a thing which gives it at once a needed guard from any weak sufferance of evil, while making the hardest task that in which “thy God hath commanded thy strength;” so that His strength may be reckoned on for its accomplishment.

2. This principle is carried out in application to the poor slave, who is now Christ’s servant, and thus truly free. If the Lord has appointed him a lowly and trying service, it will not be counted a dishonor to him in the day of final recompense, when servant and master will stand before their common Master, to receive, not according to the place they may have filled, but according to the faithfulness with which they have filled it. The Master then will be One who has filled Himself the very lowest place to serve us all.

3. This naturally leads on to what in this day and world is truest service, and as to which Paul had a special commission, the manifestation of the mystery of Christ, against which all the world is, and he who is the usurping “prince of this world;” so that, if it is to have way, God must open a door for it. For this, therefore, the apostle seeks the prayers of the disciples, and in general that they persevere in prayer, watching, as in expectation of answer, and with thanksgiving, which implies the tender and encouraging remembrance of abundant mercy. But indeed the very fact of having such a gospel to pray for may well be the greatest encouragement: how could He, who at such a cost has provided salvation, fail to answer the desire of heart which is so completely in sympathy with His own heart? Here is that as to which we may pray therefore with boldness and confident expectation; and here is the secret of confidence, when we have learned to identify ourselves with Christ’s interests upon the earth as our real concern. With Paul himself there certainly was no other, as we well know.

4. Finally, apart from the direct preaching of the gospel, we are to “walk in wisdom towards those that are without, redeeming opportunities:” for in a world under Satan’s power there will not be always such. For this reason one must be ready when the time comes. At all times, also, the speech is to be characterized by grace, the “salt” of divine holiness preserving this from passing over into mere laxity and inability to stand for God. This in fact alone is grace; but the holiness of grace is as far as possible from that of law, though law is holy. A Christian, as one who owes all to grace, falsifies his testimony if he shows a spirit of legality; nor will there be wisdom found in this way to “answer,” or meet according to their need, the various conditions of those around. We must be in the spirit of Christ (which grace is) in order to do His work.

Fuente: Grant’s Numerical Bible Notes and Commentary

Observe here, 1. That St. Paul, in the former part of this chapter, having laid down general exhortations, to live suitably to the gospel which the Colossians had received, comes now, in the close of the chapter, to exhort them to the practice fo particular duties in their respective places and relations, as husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and servants.

Learn hence, That the doctrine of the gospel lays the highest and strictest obligations upon all those to whom it is revealed, to perform every personal and relative duty in an holy and acceptable manner, both to God and man.

Observe, 2. The wives duty of subjection here required; Submit yourselves to your own husbands. This implies and comprehends in it, a reverend esteem of them, an affectionate love unto them, speaking respectfully of them, and to them, and yielding obedience to their commands.

Observe also, The qualification and manner of this subjection, as it is fit in the Lord, that is, in all lawful things, and in obedience to the Lord’s commands, and not in anything contrary to his will. Thus obeying, the woman’s subjection is service done to Christ; which may comfort her, in case of any unkind returns from her husband to her.

Fuente: Expository Notes with Practical Observations on the New Testament

The Christian’s Home

It appears to this writer that Paul’s words on the family are a special application of doing all in the Lord’s name. In even the smallest of tasks, when two people work together someone must be in charge or direct the work. God ordained that the wife should yield to the authority of her husband ( Gen 3:16 ). Subjection is fitting under God’s law, but not if the husband directs his wife to do something unfit in God’s sight ( Act 5:29 ). While the wife is to be in subjection, the husband cannot be a thoughtless dictator. A man’s wife is to be his special love and she should receive the tender attention one would give to his own fragile, sensitive body parts ( Gen 2:24 ; Eph 5:28-29 ; 1Pe 3:7 ).

Children should submit themselves to their parents in obedience. Such teaches them appropriate submission to authority and will help them be prepared to yield to God. Again, submission is limited to doing those things which are right in God’s sight, for the Christian’s ultimate goal is to please Him. A father’s goal should be to encourage his children to do good. He should carefully direct and discipline so as to keep them on the path of righteousness ( Col 3:18-21 ).

Fuente: Gary Hampton Commentary on Selected Books

Col 3:18-25. Wives, submit yourselves Or be subject; to your own husbands Whether they be Christians or heathen. See on Eph 5:22. As it is fit Both in regard of Gods command, and the evil that would arise from the neglect of this duty; in the Lord In obedience to the Lord, and in all lawful things. Husbands, love your wives As yourselves, and as Christ loved the church: see Eph 5:25; Eph 5:28. And be not bitter Harsh and rigorous, either in spirit, word, or deed; against them(Which may be the case without any manifest appearance of anger,)

but kind and obliging. Children, obey your parents See on Eph 6:1; in all things Namely, lawful; for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord The Lord Christ, who, when he dwelt in flesh, was a constant example of filial piety, not only to his real mother, but to him who was only his supposed father, Luk 2:51. Fathers, provoke not your children Deal not harshly or severely with them, so as to alienate their affections from you; lest they be discouraged From attempting to please you, when it shall seem to be an impossible task. See on Eph 6:4. Rigorous treatment may also occasion their becoming stupid. Servants, obey in all things That are lawful, 1Pe 2:18; your masters according to the flesh See on Eph 6:5 : Obey even their rigorous commands; not with eye-service Being more attentive to their orders, and diligent, when under their eye, than at other times; as men- pleasers As persons who are solicitous only to please men; but in singleness of heart With a simple intention of pleasing God by doing right, without looking any further; fearing God That is, acting from this principle. And whatsoever ye do Whatever ye are employed in; do it heartily Cheerfully, diligently; as to the Lord Whose eye, you know, is upon you. Men-pleasers are soon dejected and made angry; the single- hearted are never displeased or disappointed, because they have another aim, which the good or evil treatment of those they serve cannot disappoint. Knowing that of the Lord (see on Eph 6:8) ye shall receive the reward, &c. Be rewarded with the inheritance of eternal life. For ye serve the Lord Christ Namely, in serving your masters according to his command. But he that doeth wrong Whether master or servant; shall receive for the wrong, &c. A just punishment. The greatness of the temptations to which rich men are exposed, by their opulence and high station, will be no excuse for their tyranny and oppression; and, on the other hand, the temptations which the insolence and severity of a tyrannical master hath laid in the way of his servant, will be no excuse for his idleness and unfaithfulness; and there is no respect of persons With him: that is, in passing sentence, and distributing rewards and punishments, God does not consider men according to their outward condition, nation, descent, wealth, temporal dignity, &c, but only according to their spirit and conduct. Though the word , here and elsewhere used by St. Paul, properly signifies a slave, our English translators, in all places, when the duties of slaves are inculcated, have justly translated it servant; because, anciently, the Greeks and Romans had scarce any servants but slaves, and because the duties of the hired servant, during the time of his service, are the same with those of the slave. So that what the apostle said to the slave, was in effect said to the hired servant. Upon these principles, in translations of the Scriptures designed for countries where slavery is abolished, and servants are free men, the word may with truth be translated a servant. In this, and the parallel passage, (Eph 6:5,) the apostle is very particular in his precepts to slaves and lords, because in all the countries where slavery was established, many of the slaves were exceedingly addicted to fraud, lying, and stealing; and many of the masters were tyrannical and cruel to their slaves. Macknight.

Fuente: Joseph Bensons Commentary on the Old and New Testaments

ARGUMENT 16

DOMESTIC GOVERNMENT

18. Wives, submit to your husbands, as it becometh you in the Lord. Out of Gods will, you are not to obey; but take a thrashing, if he gives it, for Jesus sake.

The whole problem of family government is to be in the Lord. When the commandment is out of harmony with the Word, Spirit, and providence of God, you are not to obey, but meekly suffer abuse and even flagellation for Christs sake, esteeming it a great blessing to endure contumely, insult, and persecution in Jesus name.

19. Ye husbands, love your wives with Divine love, and be not bitter toward them. No sinner can obey this commandment. Hence, God requires every man to get religion before he takes a wife. It is the privilege of every sinner to receive a wife; but Gods order is to get converted first, as no man can love his wife with Divine love until the Holy Ghost pours it out in his heart. Hence, all domestic trouble arises from the deficiency of grace in the heart.

20. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing in the Lord. Here we see that filial obedience, like that of the wife, is to be in the Lord. If your parents order you to commit sin, disobedience, for Christs sake, becomes your duty, never resisting, but patiently suffering for Christs sake.

21. Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, lest they may be discouraged. Your little children have inherited evil tempers from you, which are little rattlesnakes in them, feeding and thriving on fret, humor, teasing, and all sorts of provocation. So be cheerful and kind, yet positive and firm with your little ones, doing nothing to fret, worry, or arouse their evil tempers. Parents vainly think they can castigate the evil tempers out of their children. It is a great mistake; they will only feed them, and develop a rapid growth. The true plan is by cheerfulness, love, kindness, and firmness to avoid everything that would provoke them to wrath, and thus bear with them patiently till Jesus comes along with the sword of the Spirit, and cuts off every snake-head. When they get sanctified wholly, they will have no evil tempers to provoke.

22. Slaves, obey your masters according to the flesh in all things, not with eye service as men pleasers, but in purity of heart fearing the Lord. This beautiful law of perfect love is to establish mutual brotherhood, even between the master and slave; the former with his eye on the great white throne where his Master sits; and the latter with his eye on Jesus, oblivious of his servitude to an earthly master, but delighted with his most servile and menial duties, which he cheerfully and patiently performs for Christs sake, transported with rapture night and day, dreaming that he serves the Lord alone. In this way many a servant wins souls for his Master, to shine like stars in his crown through all eternity. Years ago, in time of slavery, an old Southern bishop related an incident in a Kentucky Conference, which I here subjoin illustratively:

A very wealthy Southern planter, Owning several hundred slaves, and, of course, by his money power ruling the Church of which he was a member, was so fond of his pastors company, that he carried him about with him to fashionable watering-places and other pleasure resorts, cheerfully pouring out his money, living like kings, delighted with the funny jokes and entertaining conversation of the cultured clergyman, who thought he was doing a land-office business in his pastorate, so perfectly satisfying the man who held his circuit by the foretop. Eventually, that awful scourge of the Southland takes hold of the millionaire. He burns as in a furnace, despite all medical aid, which, far and wide. from the beginning has been laid under contribution for the arrest of the destroyer and the recover of the valuable man. A council is held early in the morning of the ninth day. All hope having evanesced, the physicians mutually agree to notify him that his end is nigh. The wife, awfully excited. orders a servant to run for the preacher. The suffering husband countermands: No, wife; dont send for him, for I dont want to see him. While I lived in pleasure I enjoyed his company; but now that I have to die, I dont want to see him. Well, says the wife, whom shall I send for? Call in Tom [he was the slave who drove his carriage]; I have often heard him praying and shouting about the barnyard. I do believe he has got the true religion. In a moment Tom tips his hat at the door. Massa, what do you want? Tom, I have to die, and I want the kind of religion you have got. Massa, you can have it; the Lord has plenty of it. Pray for me, Tom. Down on his knees goes the sable Ethiopian, and O how he prays for his dear old master! It seems that the roof will certainly fly off to let heaven drop down. Tom prays, and his master prays. Tom exhorts and shouts, and, while the hours go by, the throne of grace is terribly besieged. Before the sun goes down, the dying man says, Come here, Tom, and let me hug you; you are the prettiest man I ever saw. Glory to God! I am not afraid to die!

Fuente: William Godbey’s Commentary on the New Testament

Col 3:18 to Col 4:1. Certain Duties Interpreted in Relation to Christ. Cf. Eph 5:22-33*.Col. omits the simile of Christ and the Church. A reason is given why fathers should not harass their children (Col 3:21). Slaves who labour worthily shall have an inheritance in heaven (Col 3:24).

Fuente: Peake’s Commentary on the Bible

SECTION 13. DIRECTIONS TO SPECIFIC CLASSES OF PERSONS. CH. 3:18-4:1.

Wives, be in subjection to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter towards them.

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well-pleasing in the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children, that they be not discouraged.

Servants, obey in all things your lords according to flesh, not with eye-service as men-pleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever ye do, work from the heart as for the Lord and not for men; knowing that from the Lord ye shall receive the recompense of the inheritance. The Lord Christ, ye serve. For he that acts unjustly will receive the injustice he has done: and there is no respect of persons. Masters, the just thing and equality render to your servants, knowing that ye have a Master in heaven.

After putting before his readers in 12 virtues appropriate to, and binding upon, all Christians alike, Paul remembers that many of his readers bear one to another special relations, involving special and mutual obligations. Of these mutual relations of certain classes of his readers, he now speaks: viz. of wives and husbands in Col 3:18-19; of children and fathers, in Col 3:20-21; of servants and masters, in Col 3:22 to Col 4:1. In each pair of relations, the subordinate member is put first as being under a more conspicuous obligation.

Col 3:18-19. Literally, Women, be in subjection to the men: for the Greek language has no distinctive terms corresponding to our words wife, husband. But the reference to married persons is unmistakable.

Be-in-subjection: not worse in quality but lower in position. Same word in Luk 2:51; 1Co 15:28, the divine pattern of subordination; and in Tit 2:5; Tit 2:9; 1Co 14:34; Rom 13:1; Rom 13:5, etc. It suggests arrangement and order.

Fitting in the Lord: such subordination being an appropriate acceptance on their part of the position given by Christ to women. A fuller account of this suitability is given in Eph 5:22-24.

Literally, as above, Men, love the women.

Bitter: contrasted in Jas 3:11 with sweet. Cognate word in Rev 8:11; Rev 10:9-10. Similar words in all languages denote acute unpleasantness of word, demeanour, or thought. The stronger party, having nothing to fear from the weaker, is frequently in danger of acting or speaking harshly. To refrain from such harshness, even towards those we love, is sometimes, amid the irritations of life, no easy task. But it is binding upon the Christian.

Col 3:20-21. Obey: literally, listen from below, i.e. listen to, and obey, their commands. The wife must place herself in a lower position as compared with her husband: children must pay attention to their parents bidding.

In all things; cannot include sinful commands: for even a parents command cannot excuse sin, although it may mitigate the blame attaching to the child. Sometimes, but very seldom, a command evidently unwise is not binding on a child. But such cases are abnormal and do not come within the horizon of Pauls thought. The universality here asserted embraces the entire activity of the child in all ordinary cases. A sinful command lays no obligation upon wife, child, or servant. This exception reveals the imperfection of all verbal precepts. They must be interpreted, not always according to the letter, but in the light of the inborn moral sense. This is specially true of positive commands.

Well-pleasing: without any limitation as to the person pleased. (So Tit 2:9.) Obedience is beautiful in itself and therefore pleasant to God and man.

In the Lord: as in Col 3:18. The childs obedience to his parents must have Christ for its encompassing and permeating element. See further under Eph 6:1.

Then follows the corresponding obligation to the fathers. These only are mentioned, as being the chief depositaries of parental authority.

Provoke: conduct calculated to arouse either action or emotion. In the former and in a good sense, in 2Co 9:2 : here in the latter and in a bad sense. Paul forbids irritating commands or action. Close parallel with the injunction in Col 3:19. It notes in each case a frequent fault of the stronger party.

That they be not discouraged: motive for the foregoing. Irritating commands cause little ones to lose heart: and than this nothing is more fatal to their moral development.

Such are the duties involved in the tender relations of life. Wives must take a lower place, and children must listen to their parents commands. And in each case this must be in the Lord, i.e. as part of their service of Christ. Such conduct befits the wifes actual position, and is beautiful in the child. It is, to both wives and children, the real place of honour. But they to whom this submission is due are themselves bound by corresponding obligations. They must pay the debt of love; and must refrain from making their superior strength a means of gratifying a vexatious spirit, and thus causing pain.

Col 3:22. From relations implying social equality, Paul now passes to a most important social relation implying inferiority; a relation already treated casually but forcibly in 1Co 7:21 f.

Servants, or slaves: see under Rom 1:1.

Obey: a duty binding alike on children and slaves.

In all things: same words and compass and limitation as in Col 3:20.

Lords: ordinary Greek term for masters. Cp. Gal 4:1; 1Pe 3:6. It is the exact correlative to servants. The one works at the bidding and for the profit of the other. See under Rom 1:1. This common use of the word lord gives definiteness to it when applied to Christ. He is the Master whose word we obey and whose work we are doing. See especially Col 4:1.

Lords according to flesh: their domain being determined and limited by the outward bodily life. Same phrase in Rom 9:3; Rom 9:5; 1Co 10:18. This limitation suggests that there is another department of the slaves life not controlled by an earthly master.

Not with etc.: description, negative and positive, of the kind of service to be rendered.

Eye-service: found only here and Eph 6:6. It is work done only to please the masters eye. All such servants look upon themselves as men-pleasers. To please men, is their aim: and therefore naturally their work is only such as falls within the range of human observation. Such merely external service is utterly unworthy of the Christian. For it brings him down to the level of those whose well-being depends on the smile of their fellows. A close parallel from the pen of Paul in Gal 1:10.

Singleness of heart: exact opposite of eye-service, which is a hollow deception and does not come from the heart.

Fearing the Lord: i.e. Christ, the One Master. Where true reverence of the Master is, there is singleness of heart: for His eye searches the heart. Where the all-seeing Master is forgotten, we seek as our highest good the favour of men: and our service sinks down to the external forms which alone lie open to the eye of man. Thus fear of the Supreme Lord saves even the slave from degrading bondage to man.

Col 3:23. Another exhortation, without connecting particle, expounding and supporting the exhortation of Col 3:22.

Whatever ye do, or be doing: emphatic assertion of a universal obligation.

From the heart: literally from the soul, i.e. the seat of life. Same phrase in Eph 6:6; Mar 12:30; Deu 6:5. That which we work with our hands must not be mechanical but must flow from the animating principle within.

As for the Lord: the workers view of his own work, in contrast to a lower view of the same, as men-pleasers. Our work must be done to please the One Master, and not men, each of whom is but one among many. [The negative , where we might expect , embeds in an exhortation a virtual assertion. The work ye do is not for men.]

Col 3:24. Knowing that etc.: a favourite phrase of Paul, e.g. Rom 5:3; 1Co 15:58. It introduces a reason for the foregoing, based on known reality.

From the Lord ye shall receive: counterpart to for the Lord.

The inheritance: eternal life, looked upon as awaiting the slave in virtue of his filial relation to God. So Rom 8:17. And inasmuch as the blessings of eternal life are in proportion (2Co 5:10) to the faithfulness of his service of Christ, they are spoken of as the recompense of the inheritance. This will come from the one Master. Knowing this, and doing all our work for Him, we do it from the heart.

Ye-serve or serve-ye the Lord Christ: either an emphatic reassertion of an objective truth underlying Col 3:22-24, or an exhortation to make this truth subjectively the principle of our own life. The former exposition tells the slave his privilege: the latter bids him claim it; cp. 1Co 7:23. As Col 3:24 a is a statement of known fact, perhaps the former exposition is better: but the practical difference is slight.

Col 3:25. He that acts-unjustly; seems to refer specially to unjust masters, although it would include slaves. The same word in Phm 1:18 refers to a slaves dishonesty. But that Paul refers here to the masters injustice, is made likely by the fact that this assertion of just recompense is given to support the foregoing assertion that Christian slaves are servants of Christ: for he that etc. That they are such, is more easily understood if they remember that even their master, at whose caprice they sometimes seem to be, will himself receive exact retribution for whatever injustice he has done. A very close coincidence of thought and phrase in 2Co 5:10. This chief reference to the master is also supported by the word respect-of persons: same word in same connection in Rom 2:11. For the master has very much more of the outward aspect which might seem to claim exemption from just retribution than has the slave. Moreover, a reference to masters is a convenient stepping stone to Col 4:1, where we learn that even slaves have claims upon their masters justice.

Col 4:1. The corresponding duties of masters, already suggested in Col 3:25.

The just-thing; recognises rights between master and slave. Similarly, in Mat 18:23-34 we have commercial transactions between a master and his slaves. The specific application to the slave of the essential principles of justice, Paul leaves to the masters own sense of right.

The equality: a word frequent in Greek for even-handed justice, almost in the sense of our word equity. And this is probably its meaning here. Not only the just thing, viz. that which law demands, but also equity, that even-handed dealing which can never be absolutely prescribed by law. It has been suggested that Paul here bids masters treat their slaves as equally with themselves members of the family of God: so Phm 1:16. But this would need a more definite indication than we have here, whereas the exposition adopted above is suggested naturally; by the foregoing word just. We may therefore accept it as the. more likely.

Knowing that etc.: cp. Col 3:24. The action of the master, as of the slave, must rest upon the same basis of intelligent apprehension of objective reality. As in Col 3:22, so here, we have a contrast between the many lords and the One Lord. This must influence both slaves and masters.

The longer space given to slaves than to masters is easily accounted for by their greater number in the Church. The fuller treatment of the case of slaves as compared with that of the relations mentioned in Col 3:18-21 is explained by the greater difficulty of the subject. Possibly it was suggested to Paul by the conversion and return of Onesimus, a runaway slave. But, apart from this, the immense importance of the bearing of Christianity upon the position and duty of slaves justifies abundantly this careful treatment of the subject.

It is easy to apply to the relation of employers and hired servants, domestic and commercial, Pauls teaching about a relation which has now happily in this country passed away. For morality rests, not upon exact prescription, but upon broad principles. The worth of specific prescriptions is in the principles they involve. This gives to moral teaching a practical application far wider than the actual words used. Modern masters and workpeople who think only of the money each can make from the other sin against both spirit and letter of the teaching of this section.

Paul has now dealt specifically with the more conspicuous and important social relations, and has shown how the Gospel bears upon each. Those in subordinate relations must accept their position as a part of their relation to Christ; as must those who occupy superior positions. Even slaves must remember that their hard lot is in a real sense sacred. In that lot they are serving, not men, but Christ. Moreover, their service is not vain. As recompense, they will receive in the kingdom of God the inheritance which belongs to His sons. Paul bids them live up to this glorious position, to look upon themselves as servants of Christ, and to render to Him with joyful hearts such service as His piercing eye will approve. On the other hand, masters must remember that they owe to their slaves not merely what the law demands but even-handed fairness.

Fuente: Beet’s Commentary on Selected Books of the New Testament

CHAPTER SIX

6. CHRIST OUR MOTIVATOR

Christ our Motivator brings us to proper service (vs. 23).

Col 3:18-25; Col 4:1

Remember the context of the following text is doing all as unto the Lord! This is truly important stuff that we are going to cover in this section – this passage gives us other things we can do as unto the Lord. Family life as well as work life – our entire life actually should be lived as unto the Lord. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.”

Ah, got this one – easy verse – wives submit – the word submit comes from two different words – sub meaning under and mitt meaning hand – under the husbands hand – NO! They are co-heirs – submitting to leadership, but not under his hand (thumb either).

The word indicates the wife is to be under the authority of, or subject to. This definitely goes against some of the current thinking of the world, but then we aren’t subject to the worlds false teaching.

Not only in the home is she to submit but this seems to be a straightforward command to submit or be subject to, as well as a very definite command against adultery in my mind. You can’t commit adultery and be submissive to only your OWN husband.

The term submit is used in Rom 13:1 “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God the powers that be are ordained of God.

Why? Because it is “fit in the Lord.” One of the thoughts to this word “fit” is “to pertain to what is due, duty, as was fitting” according to Thayer. It is the wife’s duty to be submissive to her husband and only her husband – it is her duty because she is in Christ.

The thought crossed my mind, can this “own husband” issue relate to more than adultery. I would assume that might be very possible. Example: In a church situation there might be times when the wife should be sure she follows her own husbands desire rather than some other man in the church. Take some time and see if you can think of other situations that this verse might fit.

Robertson mentions “Wives have rights and privileges, but recognition of the husband’s leadership is essential to a well-ordered home….”

Now, that I have made verbiage of the term “own” I might admit that not all translations include the term. Some of the manuscripts omit this word, though logic requires the thought of “own husband.”

I might add that this word submission is not a female only term, it is used of male relationships to others as well. The Bible makes it clear that men are subject to Christ, to powers that be, to employees if they are working men etc. We all are called in Scripture to submit to others – government, teachers, employees, police, etc.

There is also a real point to be made. This verse is addressed to the wife and not the husband. She is the one that brings this to pass. It is not the husbands job to force her into submission even though he might reeeaaalllly want to. It is not the pastors place either, though both the husband and then the pastor should teach this verse to the erring woman and encourage her before the Lord to make it a part of her life.

Fuente: Mr. D’s Notes on Selected New Testament Books by Stanley Derickson

3:18 {10} Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is {n} fit in the Lord.

(10) He goes from precepts which concern the whole civil life of man, to precepts pertaining to every man’s family, and requires of wives subjection in the Lord.

(n) For those wives do poorly, that do not set God in Christ before them in their love; but this philosophy does not know.

Fuente: Geneva Bible Notes

1. Wives and husbands 3:18-19 (cf. Eph 5:22-33; 1Pe 3:1-7)

Fuente: Expository Notes of Dr. Constable (Old and New Testaments)

Paul did not say all women should be subject to all men, only that wives should be to their own husbands.

"The exhortation should not be weakened in translation in deference to modern sensibilities (cf. again 1Co 14:34 . . .). But neither should its significance be exaggerated; ’subjection’ means ’subordination,’ not ’subjugation’ . . ." [Note: Ibid., p. 247. Cf. Ralph P. Martin, Colossians and Philemon, p. 119; and W. Schrage, The Ethics of the New Testament, p. 253.]

This subjection rests on divinely prescribed authority, not on any inherent inferiority in spirituality, intelligence, worth, or anything else. This is "fitting" in that it is consistent with what God ordained at the creation of the human race (Gen 2:18; cf. 1Ti 2:13).

"The thought of this passage moves in the realm of respect for another’s position and place, not in the realm of inferiority." [Note: Johnson, 482:109. See Anthonie von den Doel, "Submission in the New Testament," Brethren Life and Thought 31:2 (Spring 1986):121-25; and Paul S. Fiddes, "’Woman’s Head is Man’ A Doctrinal Reflection upon a Pauline Text," Baptist Quarterly 31:8 (October 1986):370-83.]

Submission is "an attitude that recognizes the rights of authority. His [Paul’s] main thought is that the wife is to defer to, that is, be willing to take second place to, her husband." [Note: Vaughan, p. 218.]

I do not think that God intends for a wife to yield to a husband who abuses her or orders her to do things contrary to God’s will. She should maintain a submissive attitude toward him and defer to him, but she need not subject herself or her children to danger. Paul’s point was that a wife should always relate to her husband as God’s appointed leader. I take Paul’s phrase "in everything" in Eph 5:24 to mean "in every sphere of life" (i.e., in domestic life, in church life, and in civil life).

Fuente: Expository Notes of Dr. Constable (Old and New Testaments)

C. The fundamental relationships 3:18-4:1

Paul next set forth certain principles to guide his readers in their most important interpersonal relationships. Geisler saw this section as containing exhortations to perfect the private life (Col 3:18 to Col 4:1), the prayer life (Col 4:2-4), and the public life (Col 4:5-6). He also saw Col 4:7-18 as expressing Paul’s concern to perfect the personal lives of the Colossian believers. [Note: Geisler, "Colossians," p. 683.] Paul wrote this instruction to enable the readers to understand what behavior is consistent with union with Christ in these relationships. This is one of several "house-rule" lists in the New Testament (cf. Eph 5:22 to Eph 6:9; 1Ti 2:8-15; 1Ti 6:1-2; Tit 2:1-10; 1Pe 2:18 to 1Pe 3:7). The writings of some Apostolic Fathers also contain such lists. [Note: See O’Brien, Colossians . . ., pp. 214-19, for a discussion of them.] Luther referred to these sections as haustafel, and some scholars still use this technical term when referring to these lists.

". . . the earliest churches were all ’house churches’ (see on Col 4:15), so that the model of the well-run household provided precedent for the well-run church . . ." [Note: Dunn, p. 245.]

The apostle grouped six classes of people in three pairs in the following verses. In each pair he first addressed the subordinate member and then the one in authority. Bear in mind that Paul was speaking to people who are in Christ in each case.

"The Christian ethic is an ethic of reciprocal obligation. It is never an ethic on which all the duties are on one side." [Note: Barclay, p. 192.]

Fuente: Expository Notes of Dr. Constable (Old and New Testaments)

Chapter 3

THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY

Col 3:18-25; Col 4:1 (R.V.)

This chapter deals with the Christian family, as made up of husband and wife, children, and servants. In the family, Christianity has most signally displayed its power of refining, ennobling, and sanctifying earthly relationships. Indeed, one may say that domestic life, as seen in thousands of Christian homes, is purely a Christian creation, and would have been a new revelation to the heathenism of Colossae, as it is today in many a mission field.

We do not know what may have led Paul to dwell with special emphasis on the domestic duties, in this letter, and in the contemporaneous Epistle to the Ephesians. He does so, and the parallel section there should be carefully compared throughout with this paragraph. The former is considerably more expanded, and may have been written after the verses before us; but, however that may be, the verbal coincidences and variations in the two sections are very interesting as illustrations of the way in which a mind fully charged with a theme will freely repeat itself, and use the same words in different combinations and with infinite shades of modification. The precepts given are extremely simple and obvious. Domestic happiness and family Christianity are made up of very homely elements. One duty is prescribed for the one member of each of the three family groups, and varying forms of another for the other. The wife, the child, the servant are bid to obey; the husband to love, the father to show his love in gentle considerateness; the master to yield his servants their dues. Like some perfume distilled from common flowers that grow on every bank, the domestic piety which makes home a house of God, and a gate of heaven, is prepared from these two simples-obedience and love. These are all. We have here then the ideal Christian household in the three ordinary relationships which make up the family; wife and husband, children and father, servant and master.

I. The Reciprocal Duties of wife and husband-subjection and love.

The duty of the wife is “subjection,” and it is enforced on the ground that it is “fitting in the Lord”-that is “it is,” or perhaps “it became” at the time of conversion, “the conduct corresponding to or befitting the condition of being in the Lord.” In more modern language-the Christian ideal of the wifes duty has for its very centre-subjection.

Some of us will smile at that; some of us will think it an old-fashioned notion, a survival of a more barbarous theory of marriage than this century recognises. But, before we decide upon the correctness of the apostolic precept, let us make quite sure of its meaning. Now, if we turn to the corresponding passage in Ephesians, we find that marriage, is regarded from a high and sacred point of view, as being an earthly shadow and faint adumbration of the union between Christ and the Church.

To Paul, all human and earthly relationships were moulded after the patterns of things in the heavens, and the whole fleeting visible life of man was a parable of the “things which are” in the spiritual realm. Most chiefly, the holy and mysterious union of man and woman in marriage is fashioned in the likeness of the only union which is closer and more mysterious than itself, namely that between Christ and His Church.

Such then as are the nature and the spring of the Churchs “subjection” to Christ, such will be the nature and the spring of the wifes “subjection” to the husband. That is to say, it is a subjection of which love is the very soul and animating principle. In a true marriage, as in the loving obedience of a believing soul to Christ, the wife submits not because she has found a master, but because her heart has found its rest. Everything harsh or degrading melts away from the requirement when thus looked at. It is a joy to serve where the heart is engaged, and that is eminently true of the feminine nature. For its full satisfaction, a womans heart needs to look up where it loves. She has certainly the fullest wedded life who can “reverence” her husband. For its full satisfaction, a womans heart needs to serve where it loves. That is the same as saying that a womans love is, in the general, nobler, purer, more unselfish than a mans, and therein, quite as much as in physical constitution, is laid the foundation of that Divine ideal of marriage, which places the wifes delight and dignity in sweet loving subjection.

Of course the subjection has its limitations. “We must obey God rather than man” bounds the field of all human authority and control. Then there are cases in which, on the principle of “the tools to the hands that can use them,” the rule falls naturally to the wife as the stronger character. Popular sarcasm, however, shows that such instances are felt to be contrary to the true ideal, and such a wife lacks something of repose for her heart.

No doubt, too, since Paul wrote, and very largely by Christian influences, women have been educated and elevated, so as to make mere subjection impossible now, if ever it were so. Womans quick instinct as to persons, her finer wisdom, her purer discernment as to moral questions, make it in a thousand cases the wisest thing a man can do to listen to the “subtle flow of silver-paced counsel” which his wife gives him. All such considerations are fully consistent with this apostolic teaching, and it remains true that the wife who does not reverence and lovingly obey is to be pitied if she cannot, and to be condemned if she will not.

And what of the husbands duty? He is to love, and because he loves, not to be harsh or bitter, in word, look, or act. The parallel in Ephesians adds the solemn, elevating thought, that a mans love to the woman, whom he has made his own, is to be like Christs to the Church. Patient and generous, utterly self-forgetting and self-sacrificing, demanding nothing, grudging nothing, giving all, not shrinking from the extreme of suffering and pain and death itself-that he may bless and help-such was the Lords love to His bride, such is to be a Christian husbands love to his wife. That solemn example, which lifts the whole emotion high above mere passion or selfish affection, carries a great lesson too as to the connection between mans love and womans “subjection.” The former is to evoke the latter, just as in the heavenly pattern, Christs love melts and moves human wills to glad obedience, which is liberty. We do not say that a wife is utterly absolved from obedience where a husband fails in self-forgetting love, though certainly it does not lie in his mouth to accuse, whose fault is graver than, and the origin of, hers. But, without going so far as that, we may recognise the true order to be that the husbands love, self-sacrificing and all-bestowing, is meant to evoke the wifes love, delighting in service, and proud to crown him her king.

Where there is such love, there will be no question of mere command and obedience, no tenacious adherence to rights, or jealous defence of independence. Law will be transformed into choice. To obey will be joy; to serve, the natural expression of the heart. Love uttering a wish speaks music to love listening; and love obeying the wish is free and a queen. Such sacred beauty may light up wedded life, if it catches a gleam from the fountain of all light, and shines by reflection from the love that binds Christ to His Church as the links of the golden beams bind the sun to the planet. Husbands and wives are to see to it that this supreme consecration purifies and raises their love. Young men and maidens are to remember that the nobleness and heart repose of their whole life may be made or marred by marriage, and to take heed where they fix their affections. If there be not unity in the deepest thing of all, love to Christ, the sacredness and completeness will fade away from any love. But if a man and woman love and marry “in the Lord,” He will be “in the midst,” walking between them, a third who will make them one, and that threefold cord will not be quickly broken.

II. The Reciprocal Duties of children and parents-obedience and gentle, loving authority. The injunction to children is laconic, decisive, universal. “Obey your parents in all things.” Of course, there is one limitation to that. If Gods command looks one way and a parents the opposite, disobedience is duty-but such extreme case is probably the only one which Christian ethics admit as an exception to the rule. The Spartan brevity of the command is enforced by one consideration, “for this is well pleasing in the Lord,” as the Revised Version rightly reads, instead of “to the Lord,” as in the Authorised, thus making an exact parallel to the former “fitting in the Lord.” Not only to Christ, but to all who can appreciate the beauty of goodness, is filial obedience beautiful. The parallel in Ephesians substitutes “for this is right,” appealing to the natural conscience. Right and fair in itself, it is accordant with the law stamped on the very relationship, and it is witnessed as such by the instinctive approbation which it evokes.

No doubt, the moral sentiment of Pauls age stretched parental authority to an extreme, and we need not hesitate to admit that the Christian idea of a fathers power and a childs obedience has been much softened by Christianity; but the softening has come from the greater prominence given to love, rather than from the limitation given to obedience.

Our present domestic life seems to me to stand sorely in need of Pauls injunction. One cannot but see that there is great laxity in this matter in many Christian households, in reaction perhaps from the too great severity of past times. Many causes lead to this unwholesome relaxation of parental authority. In our great cities, especially among the commercial classes, children are generally better educated than their fathers and mothers, they know less of early struggles, and one often sees a sense of inferiority making a parent hesitate to command, as well as a misplaced tenderness making him hesitate to forbid. A very misplaced and cruel tenderness it is to say “would you like?” when he ought to say “I wish.” It is unkind to lay on young shoulders “the weight of too much liberty,” and to introduce young hearts too soon to the sad responsibility of choosing between good and evil. It were better and more loving by far to put off that day, and to let the children feel that in the safe nest of home, their feeble and ignorant goodness is sheltered behind a strong barrier of command, and their lives simplified by having the one duty of obedience. By many parents the advice is needed-consult your children less, command them more.

And as for children, here is the one thing which God would have them do: “Obey your parents in all things.” As fathers used to say when I was a boy-“not only obedience, but prompt obedience.” It is right. That should be enough. But children may also remember that it is “pleasing”-fair and good to see, making them agreeable in the eyes of all whose approbation is worth having, and pleasing to themselves, saving them from many a bitter thought in after days, when the grave has closed over father and mother. One remembers the story of how Dr. Johnson, when a man, stood in the market place at Lichfield, bareheaded, with the rain pouring on him, in remorseful remembrance of boyish disobedience to his dead father. There is nothing bitterer than the too late tears for wrongs done to those who are gone beyond the reach of our penitence. “Children, obey your parents in all things,” that you may be spared the sting of conscience for childish faults, which may be set tingling and smarting again even in old age.

The law for parents is addressed to “fathers,” partly because a mothers tenderness has less need of the warning “provoke not your children,” than a fathers more rigorous rule usually has, and partly because the father is regarded as the head of the household. The advice is full of practical sagacity, How do parents provoke their children? By unreasonable commands, by perpetual restrictions, by capricious jerks at the bridle, alternating with as capricious dropping of the reins altogether, by not governing their own tempers, by shrill or stern tones where quiet, soft ones would do, by frequent checks and rebukes, and sparing praise. And what is sure to follow such mistreatment by father or mother? First, as the parallel passage in Ephesians has it, “wrath”- bursts of temper, for which probably the child is punished and the parent is guilty-and then spiritless listlessness and apathy. “I cannot please him whatever I do,” leads to a rankling sense of injustice, and then to recklessness-“it is useless to try any more.” And when a child or a man loses heart, there will be no more obedience. Pauls theory of the training of children is closely connected with his central doctrine, that love is the life of service, and faith the parent of righteousness. To him hope and gladness and confident love underlie all obedience. When a child loves and trusts, he will obey. When he fears and has to think of his father as capricious, exacting, or stern, he will do like the man in the parable, who was afraid because he thought of his master as austere, reaping where he did not sow, and therefore went and hid his talent. Childrens obedience must be fed on love and praise. Fear paralyses activity, and kills service, whether it cowers in the heart of a boy to his father, or of a man to his Father in heaven. So parents are to let the sunshine of their smile ripen their childrens love to fruit of obedience, and remember that frost in spring scatters the blossoms on the grass. Many a parent, especially many a father, drives his child into evil by keeping him at a distance. He should make his boy a companion and playmate, teach him to think of his father as his confidant, try to keep his child nearer to himself than to anybody beside, and then his authority will be absolute, his opinions an oracle, and his lightest wish a law. Is not the kingdom of Jesus Christ based on His becoming a brother and one of ourselves, and is it not wielded in gentleness and enforced by love? Is it not the most absolute of rules? And should not the parental authority be like it-having a reed for a sceptre, lowliness and gentleness being stronger to rule and to sway than the “rods of iron” or of gold which earthly monarchs wield?

There is added to this precept, in Ephesians, an injunction on the positive side of parental duty: “Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” I fear that is a duty fallen woefully into disuse in many Christian households. Many parents think it wise to send their children away from home for their education, and so hand over their moral and religious training to teachers. That may be right, but it makes the fulfilment of this precept all but impossible. Others, who have their children beside them, are too busy all the week. and too fond of “rest” on Sunday. Many send their children to a Sunday school chiefly that they themselves may have a quiet house and a sound sleep in the afternoon. Every Christian minister, if he keeps his eyes open, must see that there is no religious instruction worth calling by the name in a very large number of professedly Christian households; and he is bound to press very earnestly on his hearers the question, whether the Christian fathers and mothers among them do their duty in this matter. Many of them, I fear, have never opened their lips to their children on religious subjects. Is it not a grief and a shame that men and women with some religion in them, and loving their little ones dearly, should be tongue tied before them on the most important of all things? What can come of it but what does come of it so often that it saddens one to see how frequently it occurs-that the children drift away from a faith which their parents did not care enough about to teach it to them? A silent father makes prodigal sons, and many a grey head has been brought down with sorrow to the grave, and many a mothers heart broken, because he and she neglected their plain duty, which can be handed over to no schools or masters-the duty of religious instruction. “These words which I command thee, shall be in thine heart; and thou shalt teach them diligently to thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house.”

III. The Reciprocal Duties of servants and masters-obedience and justice.

The first thing to observe here is that these “servants” are slaves, not persons who have voluntarily given their work for wages. The relation of Christianity to slavery is too wide a subject to be touched here. It must be enough to point out that Paul recognises that “sum of all villainies,” gives instructions to both parties in it, never says one word in condemnation of it. More remarkable still; the messenger who carried this letter to Colossae carried in the same bag the Epistle to Philemon, and was accompanied by the fugitive slave Onesimus, on whose neck Paul bound again the chain, so to speak, with his own hands. And yet the gospel which Paul preached has in it principles which cut up slavery by the roots; as we read in this very letter, “In Christ Jesus there is neither bond nor free.” Why then did not Christ and His apostles make war against slavery? For the same reason for which they did not make war against any political or social institutions. “First make the tree good and his fruit good.” The only way to reform institutions is to elevate and quicken the general conscience, and then the evil will be outgrown, left behind, or thrown aside. Mould men and the men will mould institutions. So Christianity did not set itself to fell this upas tree, which would have been a long and dangerous task; but girdled it, as we may say, stripped the bark off it, and left it to die-and it has died in all Christian lands now.

But the principles laid down here are quite as applicable to our form of domestic and other service as to the slaves and masters of Colossae.

Note then the extent of the servants obedience-“in all things.” Here, of course, as in former cases, is there presupposed the limit of supreme obedience to Gods commands; that being safe, all else is to give way to the duty of submission. It is a stern command, that seems all on the side of the masters. It might strike a chill into many a slave, who had been drawn to the gospel by the hope of finding some little lightening of the yoke that pressed so heavily on his poor galled neck, and of hearing some voice speaking in tenderer tones than those of harsh command. Still more emphatically, and, as it might seem, still more harshly, the Apostle goes on to insist on the inward completeness of the obedience-“not with eye service (a word of Pauls own coining) as men pleasers.” We have a proverb about the worth of the masters eye, which bears witness that the same fault still clings to hired service. One has only to look at the next set of bricklayers one sees on a scaffold, or of haymakers one comes across in a field, to see it. The vice was venial in slaves; it is inexcusable, because it darkens into theft, in paid servants-and it spreads far and wide. All scamped work, all productions of mans hand or brain which are got up to look better than they are, all fussy parade of diligence when under inspection and slackness afterwards-and all their like which infect and infest every trade and profession, are transfixed by the sharp point of this precept.

“But in singleness of heart,” that is, with undivided motive, which is the antithesis and the cure for “eye service”-and “fearing God,” which is opposed to “pleasing men.” Then follows the positive injunction, covering the whole ground of action and lifting the constrained obedience to the earthly master up into the sacred and serene loftiness of religious duty, “whatsoever ye do, work heartily,” or from the soul. The word for work is stronger than that for do, and implies effort and toil. They are to put all their power into their work, and not be afraid of hard toil. And they are not only to bend their backs, but their wills, and to labour “from the soul,” that is, cheerfully and with interest-a hard lesson for a slave and asking more than could be expected from human nature, as many of them would, no doubt, think. Paul goes on to transfigure the squalor and misery of the slaves lot by a sudden beam of light-“as to the Lord”-your true “Master,” for it is the same word as in the previous verse-“and not unto men.” Do not think of your tasks as only enjoined by harsh, capricious, selfish men, but lift your thoughts to Christ, who is your Lord, and glorify all these sordid duties by seeing His will in them. He only who works as “to the Lord” will work “heartily.” The thought of Christs command, and of my poor toil as done for His sake, will change constraint into cheerfulness, and make unwelcome tasks pleasant, and monotonous ones fresh, and trivial ones great. It will evoke new powers and renewed consecration. In that atmosphere, the dim flame of servile obedience will burn more brightly, as a lamp plunged into a jar of pure oxygen.

The stimulus of a great hope for the ill-used, unpaid slave is added. Whatever their earthly masters might fail to give them, the true Master whom they really served would accept no work for which He did not return more than sufficient wages. “From the Lord ye shall receive the recompense of the inheritance.” Blows and scanty food and poor lodging may be all that they get from their owners for all their sweat and toil, but if they are Christs slaves, they will be treated no more as slaves, but as sons, and receive a sons portion, the exact recompense which consists of the “inheritance.” The juxtaposition of the two ideas of the slave and the inheritance evidently hints at the unspoken thought, that they are heirs because they are sons-a thought which might well lift up bowed backs and brighten dull faces. The hope of that reward came like an angel into the smoky huts and hopeless lives of these poor slaves. It shone athwart all the gloom and squalor, and taught patience beneath “the oppressors wrong, the proud mans contumely.” Through long, weary generations it has lived in the hearts of men driven to God by mans tyranny, and forced to clutch at heavens brightness to keep them from being made mad by earths blackness. It may irradiate our poor lives, especially when we fail, as we all do sometimes, to get recognition of our work, or fruit from it. If we labour for mans appreciation or gratitude, we shall certainly be disappointed; but if for Christ, we have abundant wages beforehand, and we shall have an over-abundant requital, the munificence of which will make us more ashamed of our unworthy service than anything else could do. Christ remains in no mans debt. “Who hath first given, and it shall be recompensed to him again?”

The last word to the slave is a warning against neglect of duty. There is to be a double recompense-to the slave of Christ the portion of a son; to the wrongdoer retribution “for the wrong that he has done.” Then, though slavery was itself a wrong, though the master who held a man in bondage was himself inflicting the greatest of all wrongs, yet Paul will have the slave think that he still has duties to his master. That is part of Pauls general position as to slavery. He will not wage war against it, but for the present accept it. Whether he saw the full bearing of the gospel on that and other infamous institutions may be questioned. He has given us the principles which will destroy them, but he is no revolutionist, and so his present counsel is to remember the masters rights, even though they be founded on wrong, and he has no hesitation in condemning and predicting retribution for evil things done by a slave to his master. A superiors injustice does not warrant an inferiors breach of moral law, though it may excuse it. Two blacks do not make a white. Herein lies the condemnation of all the crimes which enslaved nations and classes have done, of many a deed which has been honoured and sung, of the sanguinary cruelties of servile revolts, as well as of the questionable means to which labour often resorts in modern industrial warfare. The homely, plain principle, that a man does not receive the right to break Gods laws because he is ill-treated, would clear away much fog from some peoples notions of how to advance the cause of the oppressed.

But, on the other hand, this warning may look towards the masters also; and probably the same double reference is also to be discerned in the closing words to the slaves, “and there is no respect of persons.” The servants were naturally tempted to think that God was on their side, as indeed He was, but also to think that the great coming day of judgment was mostly meant to be terrible to tyrants and oppressors, and so to look forward to it with a fierce unChristian joy, as well as with a false confidence built only on their present misery. They would be apt to think that God did “respect persons,” in the opposite fashion from that of a partial judge-namely, that He would incline the scale in favour of the ill-used, the poor, the down trodden; that they would have an easy test and a light sentence, while His frowns and His severity would be kept for the powerful and the rich who had ground the faces of the poor and kept back the hire of the labourer. It was therefore a needful reminder for them, and for us all, that that judgment has nothing to do with earthly conditions, but only with conduct and character; that sorrow and calamity here do not open heavens gates hereafter, and that the slave and master are tried by the same law.

The series of precepts closes with a brief but most pregnant word to masters. They are bid to give to their slaves “that which is just and equal,” that is to say, “equitable.” A startling criterion for a masters duty to the slave who was denied to have any rights at all. They were chattels, not persons. A master might, in regard to them, do what he liked with his own; he might crucify or torture, or commit any crime against manhood either in body or soul, and no voice would question or forbid. How astonished Roman lawgivers would have been if they could have heard Paul talking about justice and equity as applied to a slave! What a strange new dialect it must have sounded to the slave owners in the Colossian Church! They would not see how far the principle, thus quietly introduced, was to carry succeeding ages; they could not dream, of the great tree that was to spring from this tiny seed precept; but no doubt the instinct which seldom fails an unjustly privileged class, would make them blindly dislike the exhortation, and feel as if they were getting out of their depth when they were bid to consider what was “right” and “equitable” in their dealings with their slaves.

The Apostle does not define what is “right and equal.” That will come. The main thing is to drive home the conviction that there are duties owing to slaves, inferiors, employees. We are far enough from a satisfactory discharge of these yet; but, at any rate, everybody now admits the principle- and we have mainly to thank Christianity for that. Slowly the general conscience is coming to recognise that simple truth more and more clearly, and its application is becoming more decisive with each generation. There is much to be done before society is organised on that principle, but the time is coming-and till it is come, there will be no peace. All masters and employers of labour, in their mills and warehouses, are bid to base their relations to “hands” and servants on the one firm foundation of “justice.” Paul does not say, Give your servants what is kind and patronising. He wants a great deal more than that. Charity likes to come in and supply the wants which would never have been felt had there been equity. An ounce of justice is sometimes worth a ton of charity.

This duty of the masters is enforced by the same thought which was to stimulate the servants to their tasks: “ye also have a Master in heaven.” That is not only Stimulus, but it is pattern. I said that Paul did not specify what was just and right, and that his precept might therefore be objected to as vague. Does the introduction of this thought of the masters Master in heaven take away any of the vagueness? If Christ is our Master, then we are to look to Him to see what a master ought to be, and to try to be masters like that. That is precise enough, is it not? That grips tight enough, does it not? Give your servants what you expect and need to get from Christ. If we try to live that commandment for twenty-four hours, it will probably not be its vagueness of which we complain. “Ye have a Master in heaven” is the great principle on which all Christian duty reposes. Christs command is my law, His will is supreme, His authority absolute, His example all-sufficient. My soul, my life, my all are His. My will is not my own. My possessions are not my own. My being is not my own. All duty is elevated into obedience to Him, and obedience to Him, utter and absolute, is dignity and freedom. We are Christs slaves, for He has bought us for Himself, by giving Himself for us. Let that great sacrifice win our hearts love and our perfect submission. “O Lord, truly I am Thy servant, Thou hast loosed my bonds.” Then all earthly relationships will be fulfilled by us; and we shall move among men, breathing blessing and raying out brightness, when in all we remember that we have a Master in heaven, and do all our work from the soul as to Him and not to men.

Fuente: Expositors Bible Commentary