Exegetical and Hermeneutical Commentary of Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love [your] wives, and be not bitter against them.
19. Husbands ] Cp. Eph 5:25-33 ; 1Pe 3:7.
love ] A word deepened and hallowed indefinitely by the Gospel, in reference to matrimonial truth and tenderness. See our note on Eph 5:25.
be not bitter ] with the wretched irritability of a supposed absolute superiority and authority. “The husband’s primacy is not for dominion but for guidance, with sweetness, wisdom and peace” (Quesnel). To be “ bitter,” in the sense of angry, is a phrase of O.T. Greek. See the LXX. in e.g. Jeremiah 44:(Heb. 37)15 (where A. V. reads “they were wroth ”); Hab 1:6. Cp. Eph 4:31.
Fuente: The Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges
Husbands, love your wives … – Notes, Eph 4:25-29.
Fuente: Albert Barnes’ Notes on the Bible
Verse 19. Be not bitter against them.] Wherever bitterness is, there love is wanting. And where love is wanting in the married life, there is hell upon earth.
Fuente: Adam Clarke’s Commentary and Critical Notes on the Bible
The husbands duty is love, which the apostle doth ever inculcate from the most obliging considerations when he speaks of this relation; see Mat 19:6; 1Co 7:3, with Eph 5:25,33; to sweeten on the one hand the subjection of the wife, and to temper on the other hand the authority of the husband.
And be not bitter against them; who, that upon his authority he may not grow insolent, the apostle forbids him frowardness with his wife, thereby requiring a conversation with her full of sweetness and amity: wrath and bitterness is to be laid aside towards all others, Col 3:8, with Eph 4:31, much more towards his own wife, in whom he is to joy and delight, Pro 5:15,18,19; 1Pe 3:7.
Fuente: English Annotations on the Holy Bible by Matthew Poole
19. (Eph5:22-33.)
be not bitterill-temperedand provoking. Many who are polite abroad, are rude and bitter athome because they are not afraid to be so there.
Fuente: Jamieson, Fausset and Brown’s Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible
Husbands, love your wives,…. [See comments on Eph 5:25].
and be not bitter against them; turning love into hatred of their persons; ruling with rigour, and in a tyrannical manner; behaving towards them in a morose, churlish, and ill natured way; giving them either bitter words, or blows, and denying them their affection, care, provision, protection, and assistance, but using them as servants, or worse. All which is barbarous, brutish, and unchristian, and utterly unbecoming the Gospel.
Fuente: John Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible
Love your wives ( ). Present active imperative, “keep on loving.” That is precisely the point.
Be not bitter ( ). Present middle imperative in prohibition: “Stop being bitter” or “do not have the habit of being bitter.” This is the sin of husbands. is an old verb from (bitter). In N.T. only here and Rev 8:11; Rev 10:9. The bitter word rankles in the soul.
Fuente: Robertson’s Word Pictures in the New Testament
Be not bitter [ ] . Lit., be not embittered. Used only here by Paul. Elsewhere only in Revelation. The compounds parapikrainw to exasperate, and parapikrasmov provocation, occur only in Heb 3:16; Heb 3:8, 15. Compare Eph 4:31.
Fuente: Vincent’s Word Studies in the New Testament
1) “Husbands, love your wives” (hoi andres, agapate tas gunaikas) “Husbands, love your wives,” High holy love and reverence is required of the Christian husband for his wife, with which as head of the wife, he will not abuse her any more than his own flesh. Php_2:3; 1Pe 3:7; 1Pe 5:5.
2) “And be not bitter against them” (kai me pikrainesthe pros autas) “and do not be bitter to or toward them;” The husbands primacy over the wife is to be exercised not with harshness, unkindness, sharpness, or brutality, but with guidance and direction in wisdom, tenderness, sweetness and peace, with all bitterness put away, laid aside or avoided, Eph 4:31; Heb 12:15; Jas 3:14.
CYRUS AND THE CAPTIVES: The historian Xenophon relates, that when Cyrus had taken captive a young prince of Armenia, together with his beautiful and blooming wife, of whom he was remarkably fond, they were brought before the tribunal of Cyrus to receive their sentence. The warrior inquired of the prince what he would give to be reinstated in his kingdom; and he replied, that he valued his crown and his liberty at a very low rate, but if the noble conqueror would restore his beloved wife to her former dignity and possessions, he would willingly pay his life for the purchase. The prisoners were dismissed, to enjoy their freedom and former honors; and each was lavish in praises of the conqueror, “And you,” said the prince, addressing his wife, “what think you of Cyrus?” “I did not observe him,” she replied. “Not observe him!” exclaimed her husband, “upon whom, then, was your attention fixed?” “Upon that dear and generous man,” she replied, “who declared his readiness to purchase my liberty at the expense of his life.”
–Gray & Adams
Fuente: Garner-Howes Baptist Commentary
(19) Be not bitter.Properly, grow not bitter, suffer not yourselves to be exasperated. The word is used metaphorically only in this passage, literally in Rev. 8:11; Rev. 10:9-10.
Fuente: Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers (Old and New Testaments)
19. Love your wives As their head and protector, with Christ’s love for the Church as the model.
Be not bitter Sharp, exasperated, the exact opposite and ruin of love.
Fuente: Whedon’s Commentary on the Old and New Testaments
‘Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh against them.’
The corollary to the wife’s subjection is the husband’s loving concern. Husband’s are to behave to their wives as Christ to the church, cosseting them and caring for them and making sacrifices for them (Eph 5:25-31).
Fuente: Commentary Series on the Bible by Peter Pett
Col 3:19 . Comp. Eph 5:25 ff., where this love is admirably characterized according to its specifically Christian nature.
] become not embittered , description of a spitefully cross tone and treatment. Plat Legg . v. p. 731 D; Dem. 1464. 18: . Philo, Vit. Mos . II. p. 135. Comp. , Polyb. iv. 14. 1; LXX. Exo 16:20 ; Rth 1:20 ; Rth 3 Esdr. 4:31; , Herod. v. 62.
Fuente: Heinrich August Wilhelm Meyer’s New Testament Commentary
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Ver. 19. Husbands, love your wives ] He saith not, Rule over them, subdue them if they will not submit, but love them, and so win them to your will; make their yoke as easy as may be, for they stand on even ground with you, as yokefellows, though they draw on the left side. “Yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant,” Mal 2:14 . He therefore that is free may frame his choice to his mind; but he that hath chosen must frame his heart to his choice.
” Uxorem vir amato, marito pareat uxor:
Coniugis illa sui cor, caput ille suae.
And be not bitter against them ] Nothing akin to Nabal, to those Chaldeans, a bitter and furious nation, or to that star, Rev 8:11 , called wormwood, that embittereth the third part of the waters. The heathen, when they sacrificed at their marriage feasts, used to cast the gall of the beasts sacrificed outside; to signify that married couples should be as doves without gall. (Plut. praec, coniug. ) Vipera virus ob venerationem nuptiarum evomit, saith Basil. The viper, going to copulate, vomiteth up her venom; and wilt not thou, for the honour of marriage, lay aside thy bitterness and boisterous behaviour?
Fuente: John Trapp’s Complete Commentary (Old and New Testaments)
19 .] See the glorious expansion of this in Eph 5:25-33 . occurs in the same sense in Demosth. 1464. 18: also in Plato, Legg. p. 731 d, . , , . Kypke illustrates the word from Plutarch, de ira cohibenda, p. 457, ‘ubi dicit, animi prodere imbecillitatem quum viri :’ and from Eurip. Helen. 303: | , . (lege ) , .
Fuente: Henry Alford’s Greek Testament
Col 3:19 . : i.e. , do not be harsh or irritable. Bengel defines as “odium amori mixtum,” which is acute, but “odium” is too strong.
Fuente: The Expositors Greek Testament by Robertson
be . . . bitter. Greek. pikraino. Only here, Rev 8:11; Rev 10:9, Rev 10:10.
Fuente: Companion Bible Notes, Appendices and Graphics
19.] See the glorious expansion of this in Eph 5:25-33. occurs in the same sense in Demosth. 1464. 18: also in Plato, Legg. p. 731 d,- . , , . Kypke illustrates the word from Plutarch, de ira cohibenda, p. 457, ubi dicit, animi prodere imbecillitatem quum viri : and from Eurip. Helen. 303: | , . (lege ) , .
Fuente: The Greek Testament
Col 3:19. , be not bitter) , hateful conduct (offensive behaviour) mixed with love. Many, who are polite to all abroad, notwithstanding without scruple treat their wives and children at home with covert bitterness, because they do not fear them; and when this feeling is vanquished, it affords a specimen of great softening of natural ruggedness of temper.
Fuente: Gnomon of the New Testament
Col 3:19
Col 3:19
Husbands, love your wives,-In the beginning it was said: Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Gen 2:24). Husbands must love and cherish their wives, promote their good, happiness and welfare. The apostle says: Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself: for no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as Christ also the church. . . . Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she fear her husband. (Eph 5:28-33). [The Christian husband is to accept his place of headship as a sacred responsibility put upon him by God himself, and is to exercise authority for the blessing of his home in the love of Christ And just as some wives may be united to tyrannical and unreasonable men, so there are husbands who, after marriage, find that the one who in the days of courtship seemed so affectionate is a veritable termagant, and as unreasonable as it is possible to be. But still the husband is to love and care for her, showing all consideration, as the apostle says: Giving honor unto the woman, as unto the weaker vessel; as being also joint-heirs of the grace of life; to the end that your prayers be not hindered. (1Pe 3:7).]
and be not bitter against them.-[God knew how petty and trying some women’s ways would be when he said this. In the power of the new life one may manifest patience and grace under the most trying circumstances, and not suffer himself to become exasperated.]
Fuente: Old and New Testaments Restoration Commentary
love: Gen 2:23, Gen 2:24, Gen 24:67, Pro 5:18, Pro 5:19, Ecc 9:9, Mal 2:14-16, Luk 14:26, Eph 5:25, Eph 5:28, Eph 5:29, Eph 5:33, 1Pe 3:7
bitter: Col 3:21, Rom 3:14, Eph 4:31, Jam 3:14
Reciprocal: 1Co 7:33 – how
Fuente: The Treasury of Scripture Knowledge
(Col 3:19.) , , – Ye husbands, love your wives. The duty is touchingly illustrated in Eph 5:25-26. The implication is, that the submission of the wife is gained by the love of the husband. Though the husband is to govern, he must govern in kindness. This duty is so plain that it needs no enforcement. The apostle then specifies one form in which the want of this love must have often shown itself-and be not bitter against them. The tropical use of the verb is as obvious as is that of the noun in Eph 4:31. The verb, which is sometimes followed by in the Septuagint, is here followed by . There is no doubt that the inconsistency here condemned was a common occurrence in heathen life, where a wife was but a legal concubine, and matrimony was not hallowed and ennobled by the Spirit of Him who wrought His first miracle to supply the means of enjoyment at a marriage feast. The apostle forbids that sour and surly objurgation which want of love will necessarily create; all that hard treatment in look and word, that unkind and churlish temper which defective attachment so often leads to. Wives are to submit, not indeed to guard against a frown or a chiding, but to ensure a deeper love. So that if this love is absent, such obedience will not be secured by perpetual irritation and fault-finding, followed by the free use of opprobrious and degrading epithets.
In Ephesians, the apostle proposes as the example Christ’s love to the church in its fervour, self-sacrifice, and holy purpose, and also enjoins the husband to love his wife as himself, as being in truth a portion of himself ( containing in it a species of argumentative comparison), but here the injunction is curt and unillustrated, followed only by the prohibition of a sin which a husband’s indifference will most certainly induce. It would almost seem, however, as if the phrase, as is fitting in the Lord, enforced both the duty recorded before it, and that which stands after it. Tertullian, in his address to his wife, written before he became a Montanist, describes the happiness of a marriage in the Lord in the following glowing terms:-How can we find words to express the happiness of that marriage which the church effects, and the oblation confirms, and the blessing seals, and angels report, and the Father ratifies? What a union of two believers, with one hope, one discipline, one service, one spirit, and one flesh! Together they pray, together they prostrate themselves, and together keep their fasts, teaching and exhorting one another, and sustaining one another. They are together at the church and at the Lord’s supper; they are together in straits, in persecutions, and refreshments. Neither conceals anything from the other; neither avoids the other; neither is a burden to the other; freely the sick are visited, and the needy relieved; alms without torture; sacrifices without scruple; daily diligence without hindrance; no using of the sign by stealth; no hurried salutation; no silent benediction; psalms and hymns resound between the two, and they vie with each other which shall sing best to their God. Christ rejoices on hearing and beholding such things; to such persons He sends His peace. Where the two are, He is Himself; and where He is, there the Evil One is not.
From conjugal the apostle naturally passes to parental duty.
Fuente: Commentary on the Greek Text of Galatians, Ephesians, Colossians and Phillipians
Col 3:19. Love is from AGAPAO, which Thayer defines, “to have a preference for, wish well to, regard the welfare of.” It does not necessarily include the “romantic sentiments,” although such a feeling should exist for a woman before a man seeks to make her his wife. Be not bitter means for him not to show an angry or irritated feeling toward his wife in ruling over her.
Fuente: Combined Bible Commentary
Col 3:19. Husbands, love your wives. (The word your is supplied several times in this section; it represents the Greek article with its possessive force; hence the italics of the E. V. are unnecessary.) Even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself for it (Eph 5:25). This example and motive put a transforming power into the corrupt social life of the first century. The love commanded is more than the fancy or passion of youth.
And be not bitter (or, embittered) against them. This special warning concerns a foul blot in married life, when the husband, as head of the house, not as head of the wife, not in love to her, but ruled by the old man, either shows bitterness in word or deed or in tone to the wife, should she be wanting in humility or submission, or have violated or disregarded the household right of the husband; or treats her with indifference, neglect, or harshness, without any fault of hers, from the cares and weariness of business, or the changing moods of the flesh, or mere habit (Braune). On the duties of husband and wife all other social duties rest. To make the marriage the less sacred, to encourage its dissolution, is like poisoning the wells of an entire community.
Fuente: A Popular Commentary on the New Testament
Observe, 1. The general duty of the husband declared, to love his wife with a special, peculiar, conjugal affection, and to discover this love by a tender care over her, an affectionate regard to her, cohabitation with her, contentment and satisfaction in her, a patient bearing with her weaknesses, or prudential hiding of her infirmities, a cheerful supplying of her wants, a readiness to instruct and direct her, a willingness to pray for her, and with her; where true love is found these duties will be performed.
Observe, 2. A particular sin, which all husbands are to avoid in their conversation with their wives, and that is being bitter against them: not bitter in affection towards them, that is, cold and indifferent in their love to them; not bitter in expression towards them, speaking reproachfully to them; not bitter in their actions towards them, giving them bitter blows, which is contrary to the law of God and nature.
Learn hence, That it is the will and command of God, that husbands should not behave themselves churlishly, sourly, or imperiously towards their wives; not ruling with rigour or being morose and rough, stern and severe in their carriage towards them, but to treat them with that endearing familiarity that is due to them, as part of ourselves.
Fuente: Expository Notes with Practical Observations on the New Testament
“Husbands, love [your] wives, and be not bitter against them.”
The husband is required to love his wife, while the wife is to be taught to love their husband (Tit 2:4).
The husband is to love his wife. What in the world does that mean.
Does it mean that we go seek out some fuzzy feeling in our stomach and call it love?
Does it mean that we submit to their every desire and buy them the world and lay it at their feet? (If that one is true I’m in big trouble.)
Does it mean that we seek their benefit? Yes, this is certainly included.
Does it mean that we seek their peace/unity in the marriage? Yes, for sure this is a needed part of love.
Does it mean setting aside our own desires at times to minister to her needs? Yes, this is also needed.
If they have a physical, emotional or spiritual need we as husbands ought to seek to fill that need at the earliest point in time.
By the way, how can a husband do the afore mentioned and commit adultery? He can’t.
“Bitter” can relate to the stomach – guess we as husbands are not to have indigestion because of their actions. Well, maybe more to the point that we should never be bitter over the loving, or the caring of the wife. It is not only our responsibility, but our fortune.
Fuente: Mr. D’s Notes on Selected New Testament Books by Stanley Derickson
3:19 {11} Husbands, love [your] wives, and be not bitter against them.
(11) He requires of husbands that they love their wives, and treat them gently.
Fuente: Geneva Bible Notes
Husbands have two responsibilities toward their wives. First, they must love them rather than treating them as subjects. Loving here involves doing what is best for the one loved, sacrificing self-interests for those of the one loved (cf. Joh 15:13), and behaving unselfishly (1 Corinthians 13). The Greek word translated "love" is agapao, the "all give" type of love, not phileo, the "give and take" type, nor erao, the "all take" type.
Second, husbands must not allow a bitter attitude to develop toward their wives because of the wife’s lack of submission or for any other reason. "Embittered" means irritated or cross. This attitude is a specific and all too common manifestation of lack of love.
"Both under Jewish and under Greek laws and custom, all the privileges belonged to the husband, and all the duties to the wife; but here in Christianity we have for the first time an ethic of mutual and reciprocal obligation." [Note: Barclay, p. 193.]