Exegetical and Hermeneutical Commentary of Proverbs 18:24
A man [that hath] friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother.
24. A man that hath friends ] Lit. a man of friends, i.e. one who makes many friends, R.V.; makes them too easily and indiscriminately.
must shew himself friendly ] Rather, doeth it to his own destruction, R.V. He will be ruined by extravagance and “evil communications.”
and ] Rather, but, in contrast to the many lightly-made friends.
a friend ] Heb. a lover. It is a stronger word than that translated “friends” in the first clause of the verse; and is used of Abraham when he is called, “the friend of God” (2Ch 20:7; Isa 41:8; comp. 1Sa 18:1; 2Sa 1:26). See Pro 17:17.
Here again is a proverb which only reaches its goal in Him, who says to His disciples, “I have called you friends.” Joh 15:15.
Fuente: The Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges
Better, A man of many companions is so to his own destruction, but there is a friend (the true, loving friend) etc. It is not the multitude of so called friends that helps us. They may only embarrass and perplex. What we prize is the one whose love is stronger and purer even than all ties of kindred.
Fuente: Albert Barnes’ Notes on the Bible
Pro 18:24
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly.
Duties to equals, neighbours, friends, husband, and wife
The carriage of equals to one another should be friendly and equal on both sides. Almost every relation gives love and benevolence a new cast and form, and calls for a new set of officers, new either for kind, measure, or manner.
I. Duties to those who are neighbours in situation to one another. So far as consists with the care of our own spiritual preservation and with all our engagements elsewhere, the sum of what we owe to our neighbours is to be as kind, useful, and beneficent among them as possible, strictly avoiding what may be to the hurt of any. To be courteous on all occasions of converse, and to be ready to do and return those good offices which tend to mutual protection and accommodation. We should strive to promote virtue and goodness in the places of our respective residence.
II. The duties of friendship. Friendship arises from a voluntary agreement or choice of persons, in other respects independent, to cultivate a familiar correspondence together. Contracting alliances is not properly a moral obligation, but rather a matter of private convenience and pleasure. Let the first rule be, to be agreed on the terms, and neither to raise nor take up expectations beyond the just intention and import of them. The second is for a person to use his utmost endeavours to answer the confidence he has suffered another to repose in him. Fidelity must be strictly maintained. A third duty is to observe a decency and respectfulness in our own language and behaviour to them, together with a candid interpretation of their words and actions. A fourth rule is that all flattery must be banished from friendship.
III. The duties of brothers and sisters. This relation is formed by nature itself. Nature, reason, and Scripture dictate that there should be a peculiar affection, with very kind effects of it, passing between those that are thus related together. Brethren should be specially careful to cultivate peace among themselves.
IV. The duties of the conjugal relation. A relation which comprehends all the sweets and endearments of the strictest friendship. The duties are–
1. Love to each others persons.
2. A strict care about maintaining peace.
3. The inviolable preservation of conjugal fidelity; a bond of equal obligation on the husband and on the wife.
4. Constant effort to promote each others interest as one common interest. The husbands authority should be full of tenderness, condescension, and forbearance. (J. Hubbard.)
Human and Divine friendship
Here is a comprehensive doctrine of Christian friendship. Friendship is a principle of mutual interchange and mutual sacrifice. There can be no onesidedness, no selfish engrossment, no taking without giving. Selfishness is the death of social reciprocity and sympathy, as it is of piety to God. Christianity is not an abstraction. It is all in a person with every attribute of personal life and love. About all our other friendships there are some easily-reached and sorely-felt limitations. Turn, then, to the One Friend. His friendship never fails or disappoints for want of knowledge, or patience, or skill, or strength, or endurance. Putting together the two declarations of the text–that of the Christian lawfulness and mutual blessing of human friendship with that of the supreme attraction and fidelity of the Divine friendship of the Saviour, we have the ground for two or three great practical principles of almost universal application.
1. The Christian guidance we need in the choice of friends and the formation of friendships.
2. The Christian test of every friendship and every affection.
3. The Christian direction how to hold and handle these friendships so that they shall bear their part and yield their fruit in the ripening of character and the eternal life of the soul. (Bp. Huntington, D. D.)
Mans clinging Friend
I. The relationship of a brother. A brother does sometimes stick close. The ties of blood are the last thing which prevents us from sinking into selfish atoms, or hardening into mere machines for minting money. Each relationship in the family has its own blessed meaning and duty. Brothers feel that their descent from one stock begets mutual alliances and obligations. But sometimes the links of brotherhood are broken. A brother in blood has sometimes been unbrotherly in will and in deed.
II. The more than brotherhood of a bosom friend. Probably the majority of men have friends nearer to them than blood-relations. Our kin are not always kind, whereas our friend is always our brother. There are less occasions for bickerings between friends than between brothers. Our friend is not with us constantly, and friendship loses none of its gloss by over-frequent contact. The superiority of friendship over brotherhood is due mostly to the fact that a brother may be a being apart, while a friend is a second self. Friends are one in kind, moulded like in natures mint. The true melodic charm of friendship lies in the devotion of both friends to the service of Christ.
III. The friend more than a brother can be no other than Jesus Christ. Christ alone has those elements of character which can make Him the clinging Friend. (F. G. Collier.)
Friendship
Man is a social being. Religion sanctions and encourages the unions to which nature prompts. Friendship has its inner and its remoter circles. The heart craves for intimate friends–those to whom it can confide its innermost thoughts, and to whom it can repair for sympathy and help in times of trouble. We have here the way to make friends and the strength of a true friendship.
I. The way to make friends. Reciprocity is the soul of friendship. No man can expect to be long cherished as a friend who does not reciprocate the feeling. At the basis of friendship must be confidence. You must place confidence in the man whom you desire to place confidence in you. Another essential ingredient of friendship is fidelity to the trust reposed in you. If you would wish others to be faithful to you, you must be faithful to them; you must never make that public which was intended to be private. Friendship involves the discharge of all the kind offices of sympathy and help. If you would wish others to sympathise with you in your troubles, you must be ever ready to sympathise with them. This is the way in which we are to make friends. We are to be to others what we wish them to be to us.
II. The strength of a true friendship. The words of the text are emphatically, but not exclusively, true of Jesus Christ. They here express a fact of ordinary experience. The ties of a true friendship are stronger than the ties of the closest natural relationship. In the absence of friendship the ties of nature are often very slender.
1. This is seen in times of adversity.
2. In times of moral delinquency and degradation.
3. A friend will encounter sacrifices and sufferings from which a brother will often shrink.
All that can be said about friendship when it exists between man and man is unspeakably more true when applied to Jesus Christ. We may learn from this–
1. The reason why many men are without friends. It is because they do not show themselves friendly.
2. That the best friend you can have offers you His friendship. And He makes the first advance.
3. Next to having Jesus Christ as your friend, the best friendships you can form will be with those who are in fellowship with Him. Then strive to make friends. (A. Clark.)
Companionship versus friendship
The word rendered friend is from a root which means to delight in. The word might be rendered lover. In the former clause of the verse read companions, in the latter clause friend. Then read the verse thus–A man of companions breaks himself up, but there is a Friend more attached than a brother.
I. The safeguard of companionship.
1. Indiscriminate companionships may meet with ingratitude.
2. They may involve injustice.
3. They may produce infidelity.
II. The satisfactions of friendship.
1. Friendships inspiration is to a higher purpose than companionships.
2. Its impulse is to a more unselfish relationship.
3. Its industry is seen in assuring a more enduring attachment. (C. M. Jones.)
Friendship
I propose to treat of friendship, which is one of the noblest and, if I might use such an expression, the most elegant relation of which human nature is capable. It tends unspeakably to the improvement of the mind, and the pleasures which result from it are most sincere and delightful. It is an observation of the best writers that friendship cannot subsist but between persons of real worth, for friendship must be founded upon high esteem; but such esteem cannot be–at least it cannot be rational and lasting–where there is not true moral worth. This is the proper object of esteem, and no natural advantages will do without it. Besides, in friendship there must be a certain likeness and content of soul, a content in the great ends and views of life, and also in the principal methods and conduct of it, and this content is effectually begotten and secured only by true probity and goodness; this is the same in every one, and forms the mind into the same sentiments, and gives it the same views and designs in all the most important affairs of life. Good spirits, therefore, are kindred spirits, and resemble one another. But what is principally to be considered is this, that no friendship can bind a man to do an ill thing. Friendship, then, must be built upon the principles of virtue and honour; and cannot subsist otherwise. But, in truth, a bad man is not capable of being friend; there is a certain greatness of soul, a benevolence, a faithfulness, an ingenuity, necessary to friendship, which are absolutely inconsistent with a bad moral character. But though every true friend be a good man, yet every good man is not fit to be a friend. A persons character may be, in general, a good one, and yet he may want many qualities which are necessary to friendship; such as–
1. Generosity. Friendship abhors everything that is narrow and contracted.
2. To generosity must be added tenderness of affection. Jonathan loved David as his own soul. The friendly mind does, with great tenderness, enter into all the circumstances and sentiments of his companion; can be affected with all his cares and fears, his joys and sorrows. Everything is of importance to him that is so to his friend. And this tenderness of affection begets that strange but affecting harmony of souls, if I might term it so, like the cords of two musical instruments strained to the same key, where if one of them is touched any wise, the sound is communicated to the other. Where there is true friendship there must be an exquisite mutual feeling.
3. And when I have said that the affection must be tender, this is saying too that it must be undissembled. Sincerity in love is essential.
4. I add that there must be in friendship great openness and frankness of spirit; there must be communication of secrets, without reserve; unless that reserve necessarily arises from and is caused by friendship, for this sacred relation cannot bear any other.
5. But although a friend must be ingenuous and open-hearted, a man of simplicity, and whose very heart, if I might use the expression, is transparent to his friend, yet he must be discreet and prudent; capable of concealing from others what ought to be concealed; capable of managing, in anything that is committed to his care, with wisdom. Men must not be put to the blush, they must not suffer by their friends disingenuity; unfaithfulness is the very worst thing that can happen in friendship; and, next to that, weakness and imprudence, which, though they do not speak so bad a mind, yet may be the cause of as great mischief, and make it impossible for friendship to subsist.
6. Again, it is necessary to the character of a friend that he should be of a constant temper, directed by reason, and acting unchangeably according to its direction. A true friend is always the same; that is, his sentiments and conduct never change but when there is reason for it.
7. But there is one particular in which the firmness of a friendly mind is as much tried as in any other, and that is in resisting any solicitation to do a thing that may be in itself bad or indiscreet, or hurtful to him that desires it. What is right and fit must always be our rule, and we ought to observe it inviolably, not only because the obligation to this is superior to all the obligations of friendship, but also from principles of kindness and benevolence. Next to the firmness that ought to be maintained in denying what is hurtful, there ought to be a resolution in animadverting upon faults. This is the most friendly and useful office imaginable, and an office to which an affectionate mind does with difficulty bring itself. To admonish and rebuke is to put one to great pain, and whatever gives pain to a friend is gone about with reluctance and aversion: yet there is no true faithfulness when this is not done; and it is one of the noblest ends of friendship. Nor can anything give more satisfaction to an ingenuous mind than to be thus intimately related to one who, he knows, will use faithful freedom with him, and prudently animadvert upon all his weaknesses. But though strict virtue is necessary as the foundation of true friendship, and great freedom ought to be used in animadverting upon faults, yet intimate friendship does not bear any rigid severity, any haughty stiffness of manners. It expects sweetness, and gentleness, and condescendency, so far as innocence and virtue will allow.
8. Again, friendship abhors all jealousy–a disposition to be suspicious, where there is no just cause given. The temper of one that is fit to be a friend is frank and open; conscious of no ungenerous cunning in itself, it does not suspect it in others. And if any circumstance appears less favourable than one would desire, yet it puts the most candid interpretation upon it that may be; and will not entertain a bad opinion of a friend, nor break with him, without manifest proof of his doing what renders him unworthy that relation.
9. Lastly, there can be no fast friendship where there is not a disposition to bear with unavoidable infirmities and to forgive faults. There may be infirmities and culpable defects in characters which in general are good and worthy, and very capable of intimate and fast friendship; yet this cannot be without that generosity which overlooks little infirmities, and can fix upon excellent and amicable qualities (though blended with the others) as the objects of its esteem and friendship. This generosity we ought by all means to cultivate in ourselves, considering how much we need it in others, and how much we expect it. Seeing, then, that so many shining qualities are necessary to make a perfect friend, they must be very few who are perfectly qualified for that relation, and men should be very cautious in their choice–careful not to run into intimacies all of a sudden, intimacies fit to be used only in the highest friendship; not to run into them, I say, with persons who are not capable of friendship at all. As there cannot be too great caution in choosing an intimate friend, so there cannot be too great firmness in cleaving to him when well chosen. Providence gives nothing in mortal life more valuable than such a friend, and happy they who enjoy this blessing! But, to conclude the whole, let it be ever remembered that true friendship, this glorious union of spirits, is founded in virtue; in virtue, I say, in that only. It is this that begets a likeness in the most important dispositions, sentiments, business, and designs of life; it is this in which the attracting and cementing power consists, which we admire for its own sake, and love for itself; it is this only that will make friendships firm, and constant, and reputable; it is this only that will make present friendship truly gainful, and the remembrance of past intimacies pleasing. And as virtue must lie at the foundation of friendship, so all friendship ought to be considered and improved as a means of confirming and exalting our virtue. (Jas. Duchal, D. D.)
Friendship
I. There is such a thing, as friendship and human affection.
1. God has implanted in our nature a social principle.
2. There are certain qualifications, distinctions, and relations that give scope to this principle.
3. There have been surprising instances of friendship among mankind.
II. The wisdom and goodness of Providence in thus ordering things.
1. It keeps society together.
2. The pleasures that attend its exercise.
3. It makes us in a humble degree like God.
4. It is suited to our state both in this world and another.
III. This friendship is imperfect.
1. Peculiarities of natural temper.
2. Clashing of interests.
3. Incapacity to help.
4. Want of religion.
5. Distance.
6. Short duration.
Conclusion:
1. What reason to admire the Divine wisdom and goodness!
2. It is a duty we owe to our Maker and our fellow-creatures to cultivate this.
3. Let us not depend on human friendship. (T. N. Toller.)
Making friends a gift
When Abraham Lincoln was a young man starting in life, it used to be said of him, Lincoln has nothing–only plenty of friends. To have plenty of friends is to be very rich–if they are the right sort. Those are indeed blessed who have received from God this gift of making friends–a gift which involves many things, but, above all, the power of going out of ones self and seeing and appreciating whatever is noble and loving in another.
There is a Friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
The faithful Friend
The two most eminent philosophers of pagan antiquity saw in friendship little more than a calculation of benefits which it might be supposed to confer, and scarcely recognised at all the possibility of its possessing a disinterested character. Plutarch affirmed that in his time friendship did not exist any longer even in families; that it had once existed in the heroic ages, but was now confined to the stage. The moral condition of a nation must have become corrupt below the point of recovery, when so Godlike a relation as that of friendship can be so discountenanced, depreciated, and suspected. It is not Christianity which has created friendship, but Christianity has lifted it up and transfigured it. Even in our common life we meet with friends who are better to us than even our relations; but certainly the text does emphatically describe the character of One who is pre-eminently the Friend of man, the Friend of sinners, and the Friend of saints. The history of brothers, as exemplified in the Scriptures, is somewhat disheartening. (Illustrate by Cain and Abel; Jacob and Esau; and Josephs brethren.) Still, few things are more common than implacable feuds between brethren. There are jealousies of brotherhood.
I. The love of our best Friend is disinterested. All love, according to some, is a thing of interest. But there certainly is friendship which loves, not for what one can get out of the other, but which loves the other for his own sake. There are friends who live in each other. And surely we may say that the love of Jesus is a disinterested one. He left the world in which lie is, and was, God over all, not to seek His own happiness, but ours. His friendship for us would have been noble and disinterested had His mission involved in it no humiliation and no suffering. Whatever God does for man must be spontaneous and disinterested, springing from a will which nothing can coerce, and from a benevolence which finds its highest joy in the holiness and happiness of those whom it seeks to bless. The recompense which Christ sought was not His own exaltation, but the joy of seeing others rescued, redeemed, purified, glorified.
II. It is an intelligent friendship. It is based on knowledge, a complete knowledge of us. The foundation of many friendships is not the rock of knowledge, but the sand of ignorance. They are the creations of a mere impulse, the result of a casual meeting in circumstances which revealed neither friend in his real character. But Christ does not throw around us a glamour of fancy in which we seem better than we are. He knows what is in man. He knows the worst of us. It is a friendship in which there is every conceivable disparity, and yet He sticketh closer than a brother.
III. The friendship of Christ is marked by its fidelity. And what is a friendship worth that does not possess this property? If friendship has its pleasures, it has also its obligations, which must be fulfilled if friendship is not to degenerate into a soft and contemptible acquaintanceship without nobleness or true advantage. The only bond of certain friends seems to be one of mutual flattery. To love ones friend means far more than to love his comfort and self-complaisance. To tell men of their faults is the luxury of enemies but the duty of friends. Now, the friendship of Christ is one which never neglects this essential duty. Many of the deepest and most sorrowful mysteries of your life may some day be explained by a single word–the faithfulness of Christ.
IV. His friendship is marked by its constancy. Few friendships have sufficient vitality in them to extend from youth to old age. Many friendships are but summer friendships. The friendship of Christ is the same yesterday, to-day, and for ever. He does not break off from us because we are not all we should be to Him. There is a limit to all our earthly friendships, a limit to their power, a limit to their help. If we need friendship on this side of the grave, how much more shall we need it on the other side. So we say, Seek not friends that die, or whom you must leave, but seek for One who never dies, and whom you can never leave. (Enoch Mellor,D. D.)
Christ closer than a brother
Christ has shown His friendship towards us–
1. In His incarnation, and in His death for us. He is a brother born for adversity, the adversity that comes through sin.
2. By tendering to us the means of grace.
3. By protecting us and providing for us so long. He is a very present help in our time of trouble. In temptation He has opened a way of escape, and in affliction He has sent a Divine Comforter. (J. W. Reeve, M. A.)
Christ our friend
The following excellent qualities of Christ, as a Friend, may serve to recommend and endear Him to our hearts:
1. He is an ancient Friend. Who can declare the antiquity of this friendship? Is it ancient as the incarnation? Is it ancient as His baptism? Is it ancient as the prophetical or patriarchal age? Nay, it is older than time itself. It is from everlasting.
2. He is a careful Friend. It was the psalmists complaint, No man careth for my soul. But the Christian has a Friend who cares for him.
3. He is a prudent Friend. Our best earthly friends may err through ignorance or mistake; but this Friend abounds in all wisdom and prudence.
4. He is a faithful Friend. Friends frequently prove false, and sad indeed it is when they prove like a brook in summer. Some men are not to be trusted. Those in whom you confide most will be ready to betray you soonest. But Christ is faithful in all His promises.
5. He is a loving Friend. Friendship without love is like religion without love; a friendless and inconsistent–a cold, unmeaning, and impossible thing. Christs love is said to surpass the love of women.
6. He is a constant and unchangeable Friend. His compassions fail not. Our Friend is a Friend for ever. The gifts and calling of God are without repentance. Having loved His own, He loveth them to the end. If Christ is our Friend, we may rest satisfied. All things will work together for our good. (D. McIndoe.)
Jesus, the true Friend
I. Reasons why it is most desirable that the young should secure the friendship of Jesus.–
1. His great knowledge about us and all future events makes His friendship most desirable.
2. His extraordinary power.
3. His vast undying love. I do not care for that friendship which is based upon selfishness, or which tries to secure mere personal ends. The love of Jesus is the root, the foundation, of His friendship. Love is the most sacrificing principle in the world. No one ever yet saw all the spirit of sacrifice there was in the love of Christ, and how He ever sought our good, our pardon, our happiness, our heaven, our glory. Love is not only the sweetest and most lovely power, but also the strongest in the universe.
4. His truth to His engagements.
5. Sad consequences must arise if the friendship of Jesus be not secured.
II. How should we act in reference to such a Friend?
1. We must do what will please Him. The little word do must be written in good, fair characters in our hearts, in our efforts, and in our lives.
2. We must on all suitable occasions acknowledge His friendship.
3. We must go direct to this Friend in all our troubles, as well as with all our joys.
4. We must faithfully look after His interests. Solomon says that this Friend sticketh closer than a brother; and they are the wisest who resolve to stick the most closely to Jesus, through sunshine and through shower, through life and through death. (J. Goodacre.)
A faithful Friend
Cicero has well said, Friendship is the only thing in the world concerning the usefulness of which all mankind are agreed. He who would be happy here must have friends. Yet friendship has been the cause of the greatest misery to men when it has been unworthy and unfaithful.
I. Christ is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
II. The reasons why we may depend upon Christ as being a faithful Friend.
1. True friendship can only be made between true men, whose hearts are the soul of honour.
2. Faithfulness to us in our faults is a certain sign of fidelity in a friend.
3. There are some things in His friendship which render us sure of not being deceived when we put our confidence in Him.
4. The friendship that will last does not take its rise in the chambers of mirth, nor is it fed and fattened there.
5. A friend acquired by folly is never a faithful friend.
6. Friendship and love, to be real, must not lie in words, but in deeds.
7. A purchased friend will never last long.
III. An inference to be derived from this. Lavater says, The qualities of your friends will be those of your enemies; cold friends, cold enemies; half friends, half enemies; fervid enemies, warm friends. Then we infer that, if Christ sticks close, and is our Friend, then our enemies will stick close, and never leave us till we die. (C. H. Spurgeon.)
The friendship of Christ
I. The value of the friendship of Christ.
1. He is a Friend to His people, and does for them more than what the strongest earthly friendship can dictate.
(1) To a kind and constant friend we can freely unfold the secrets of our heart, and look for counsel and direction in every perplexing circumstance. With far greater freedom may the humble Christian apply for direction to the wonderful Counsellor and Prince of Peace.
(2) From a kind and generous friend we expect compassion in our troubles and sympathy in our affliction. The merciful High Priest, and the Friend of His people, is touched with a feeling of their infirmities.
(3) From a constant and kind friend we expect protection when injured and in danger. This also the gracious Friend of sinners willingly imparts to all who, in the exercise of faith, humility, and trust, betake themselves to Him.
(4) From firm, constant, and generous friends, we receive such supplies of good things as they can bestow, when we stand in need of them. But what are all the bounties of the creature when compared with the bounty and benevolence of our gracious Lord?
2. His Divine friendship is free from those imperfections which lessen the comfort of human intimacy and attachment.
(1) A friend and a brother may withdraw their regard, and prove inconstant. Some real or imaginary offence, some impropriety of conduct, the injurious misrepresentations of the malicious, or some scheme of self-interest, may make those whom we have loved and esteemed avert their countenances from us, withdraw their intercourse, and prove false in their friendship; but this Beloved of the soul continues steadfast in His love–the same yesterday, to-day, and for ever.
(2) The best of friends or brothers on earth may not be able to administer that Divine assistance or support which circumstances may require; they may be ignorant what course should be taken; they may be oppressed with poverty, or laid on beds of languishing, or borne down with a succession of griefs. But the compassionate Redeemer is a brother born for adversity.
(3) The best of friends and brothers may be called to stations of work and usefulness in places of the world to which we can have but little access, so that, after years of happy intimacy, distance of place may interrupt the sweetest friendship and all the joys of mutual intercourse. But it is not thus with that best Friend whom the text extols. Wherever His people are, He is there to bless them, and to do them good.
(4) Death dissolves the sweetest friendships. But Jesus, our Redeemer and Friend, is immortal and unchangeable.
II. I am to recommend the Saviour to your attention, admiration, and acceptance.
1. The personal excellences He inherits.
2. The unspeakable blessings He bestows.
III. Let us now direct you to the improvement of what has been said.
1. This subject suggests important directions to believers in Jesus.
(1) He that has friends must show himself friendly. Beware of whatever may offend your heavenly Friend, or cause Him to withdraw the manifestations of His presence.
(2) Testify the sincerity and ardour of your friendship, by regard for those who are the friends of Christ.
(3) Testify your friendship to the Saviour, by warm concern for His interests in the world.
(4) Maintain daily and delightful fellowship with your heavenly Friend, that thus you may cultivate the sense of His friendship, and may guard against all distance, coldness, and reserve.
(5) Ye friends of the heavenly Bridegroom long for the coming of your Lord, and for the full enjoyment of His immediate presence in heaven.
2. I shall now conclude with addressing men in different situations.
(1) This Friend demands the affection of the young by motives the most engaging and tender.
(2) Are you afflicted? Be entreated to seek your support and consolation in the friendship of Christ.
(3) Are you indifferent and careless about religion, but pursuing the enjoyments of sense with the whole bent of a corrupted mind? Yield to the entreaties of a dying Saviour; fly to Him; make the Judge your friend, and know for your comfort, that in receiving Christ Jesus the Lord, you become through faith in Him the children of God, and are made joint heirs with Christ, that best of friends, who sticketh closer than a brother. (A. Bonar.)
Friendship
(a sermon to children):–
I. How are we to hold our friends? Friendliness preserves friendship. But what is friendliness?
1. A friendly man is a sincere man. True, trustworthy, transparent in character. Mocking and deceitful men, like Mr. Facing-both-Ways, are never loved and trusted. By their duplicity and insincerity the Stuarts lost a kingdom, and King George I, who succeeded them, and prospered and won the affection of the great English people, was once heard to say, My maxim is, never to abandon my friends, to do justice to all, and to fear no man.
2. A friendly man is frank and generous. A story is told of Demetrius, one of the conquerers of Athens, that shows the power of generosity in making friends. After the glorious victory Demetrius did not harass and humiliate the inhabitants of the beautiful city, but treated them generously. Commanding his soldiers to fill the empty houses of the citizens with provisions, they wondered at his goodness, and fear grew into love.
II. Who is the noblest friend?–There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. What a faithful friend was Jonathan to David!
1. In Jesus we have a royal Friend, possessing treasures, and crowns, and kingdoms such as no earthly monarch owns.
2. In Jesus we have a generous Friend.
3. Jesus is a constant Friend. Some people use their friends as shipwrecked sailors use their rafts, as masons use scaffolding, as gardeners use clay in grafting trees. They neglect them or fling them away whenever they have served their selfish purposes. But Jesus is a steady Friend, Ever faithful, ever true. He will never leave us nor forsake us. After bidding farewell to all his relations, President Edwards, when dying, said, Now, where is Jesus of Nazareth, my true and never-failing Friend? And immediately the Friend born for adversity came and led him through the valley of the shadow, and gave him a place among the shining ones in our heavenly Fathers home. (J. Moffat Scott.)
An invisible Friend
Not able to conceive of an invisible Friend! Oh, it is not when your children are with you, it is not when you see and hear them, that they are most to you; it is when the sad assembly is gone; it is when the daisies have resumed their growing again in the place where the little form was laid; it is when you have carried your children out, and said farewell, and come home again, and day and night are full of sweet memories; it is when summer and winter are full of touches and suggestions of them; it is when you cannot look up towards God without thinking of them, nor look down toward yourself and not think of them; it is when they have gone out of your arms, and are living to you only by the power of the imagination, that they are the most to you. The invisible children are the realest children, the sweetest children, the truest children, the children that touch our hearts as no hands of flesh ever could touch them. And do you tell me that we cannot conceive of the Lord Jesus Christ because He is invisible? (H. W. Beecher.)
Christ a personal Friend
What made so great a difference? Of two friends of Alexander the Great, the historian Plutarch calls one Philo-Basileus, that is, the friend of the King, and the other, Philo-Alexandros, that is, the friend of Alexander. Similarly, some one has said St. Peter was Philo-Christos, the friend of the Christ, but St. John was Philo-Jesous, the friend of Jesus. This touches the quick: Peter was attached to the person who filled the office of Messiah, John to the Person Himself. And this is a distinction which marks different types of Christian piety in all ages. The Christ of some is more official–the Head of the Church, the Founder of Christianity, and the like–that of others is more personal; but it is the personal bond which holds the heart. The most profoundly Christian spirits have loved the Saviour, not for His benefits, but for Himself alone. (J. Starker.)
.
Fuente: Biblical Illustrator Edited by Joseph S. Exell
Verse 24. A man that hath friends must show himself friendly] Love begets love; and love requires love as its recompense. If a man do not maintain a friendly carriage, he cannot expect to retain his friends. Friendship is a good plant; but it requires cultivation to make it grow.
There is a kind of factitious friendship in the world, that, to show one’s self friendly in it, is very expensive, and in every way utterly unprofitable: it is maintained by expensive parties, feasts, c., where the table groans with dainties, and where the conversation is either jejune and insipid, or calumnious backbiting, talebearing, and scandal, being the general topics of the different squads in company.
There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.] In many cases the genuine friend has shown more attachment, and rendered greater benefits, than the natural brother. Some apply this to God; others to Christ; but the text has no such meaning.
But critics and commentators are not agreed on the translation of this verse. The original is condensed and obscure. ish reim lehithroea, or lehithroeang, as some would read, who translate: A man of friends may ring again; i.e., he may boast and mightily exult: but there is a friend, oheb, a lover, that sticketh closer, dabek, is glued or cemented, meach, beyond, or more than, a brother. The former will continue during prosperity, but the latter continues closely united to his friend, even in the most disastrous circumstances.
Hence that maxim of Cicero, so often repeated, and so well known: –
Amicus certus in re incerta cernitur.
“In doubtful times the genuine friend is known.”
A late commentator has translated the verse thus: –
The man that hath many friends is ready to be ruined:
But there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
HOLDEN.
“A frende that delyteth in love, doth a man more frendship, and sticketh faster unto him, than a brother.” – Coverdale.
“A man that hath friends ought to show himself friendly, for a friend is nearer than a brother.” – BARKER’S Bible, 1615.
“A man amyable to felowschip, more a freend schal ben thanne a brother.” – Old MS. Bible. The two last verses in this chapter, and the two first of the next, are wanting in the Septuagint and Arabic.
These are the principal varieties; out of them the reader may choose. I have already given my opinion.
Fuente: Adam Clarke’s Commentary and Critical Notes on the Bible
A man that hath friends, Heb. a man of friends; either,
1. Who desires the friendship of others. Or,
2. Who professeth friendship to others.
That sticketh closer to him that desires and needs his help; who is more hearty in the performance of all friendly offices.
Fuente: English Annotations on the Holy Bible by Matthew Poole
24. A man . . . friendlybetter,”A man . . . (is) to, or, may triumph (Ps108:9), or, shout for joy (Ps5:11), that is, may congratulate himself.” Indeed, there isa Friend who is better than a brother; such is the “Friend ofsinners” [Mat 11:19;Luk 7:34], who may have beenbefore the writer’s mind.
Fuente: Jamieson, Fausset and Brown’s Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible
A man [that hath] friends must show himself friendly,…. Friendship ought to be mutual and reciprocal, as between David and Jonathan; a man that receives friendship ought to return it, or otherwise he is guilty of great ingratitude. This may be spiritually applied; a believer is “a man of friends” b, as it may be rendered; he has many friends: God is his friend, as appears by his early love to him, his choice of him, and provisions of grace for him; by sending his son to save him; by visiting him, not only in a way of providence, but of grace; by disclosing his secrets, showing his covenant to him, and by making him his heir, and a joint heir with Christ. Christ is his friend, as is evident from his visiting him at his incarnation; and in a spiritual way, by the communication of his secrets to him; by his hearty counsel and faithful reproofs; by his undertaking and doing for him what he has; and especially by suffering and dying in his room and stead. The Holy Spirit is his friend, which he has shown by discovering to him his woeful estate by nature, and the way of salvation by Christ; by working all his works in him; by acting the part of a Comforter to him; by revealing divine things to him, by helping him under all his infirmities; by making intercession for him according to the will of God; and by making him meet for eternal glory and happiness: angels are his friends, as is plain by their well pleasedness with the incarnation of Christ for men; and which they express at their conversion; by their ministering to them, their protection of them, and the good offices they do them both in life and at death; and saints are friends to one another: and such should show themselves friendly to God, their covenant God and Father; by frequently visiting him at the throne of grace; by trusting in him; by a carefulness not to offend, but please him; and by a close and faithful adherence to his cause and interest: to Jesus Christ their Redeemer, by a ready obedience to his commands; by owning and using him as their friend; by taking notice of his friends, and showing them respect, his ministers and poor saints; by cleaving to him, and renouncing the friendship of his enemies: and likewise to the Holy Spirit, by not grieving, quenching, and despising him; but by making use of him, and giving up themselves to his influence and direction; and by acknowledging him as the author of all their grace: also to angels, by speaking well of them, owning their good offices, and reckoning it an honour that they are come and joined to such a company; and to the saints, by Christian conversation with them, by sympathizing with them in all conditions, by hearty counsel, faithful reproofs and admonitions, and by helping them in every distress, inward and outward;
and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother; who is to a man as his own soul, De 13:6; and so are of one heart and soul, as Jonathan and David, and the first Christians, were; this is true of Christ, and may be expressive of the close union between him and his people; and of his close adherence to their cause and interest; and of his constancy and continuance as a friend at all times; and of his faithfulness and unchangeableness as such; see Pr 17:17. The Heathens had a deity which presided over friendship, which they called Jupiter Philios c: the character best agrees with the true God, who is a friend to men himself, and loves friendship among them.
b “vir amicorum”, Montanus, Vatablus, Baynus, Mercerus, Gejerus, Michaelis; “vir sodalium”, Cocceius, Schultens. c Aristoph. Acharn. Act. 3. Sc. 2. v. 2. Pausan. Arcadica sive, l. 8. p. 506.
Fuente: John Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible
24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Solomon here recommends friendship to us, and shows, 1. What we must do that we may contract and cultivate friendship; we must show ourselves friendly. Would we have friends and keep them, we must not only not affront them, or quarrel with them, but we must love them, and make it appear that we do so by all expressions that are endearing, by being free with them, pleasing to them, visiting them and bidding them welcome, and especially by doing all the good offices we can and serving them in every thing that lies in our power; that is showing ourselves friendly.
| Si vis amari, ama– If you wish to gain affection, bestow it.–Sen. Ut ameris, amabilis esto– The way to be beloved is to be lovely.–Ovid. |
2. That it is worth while to do so, for we may promise ourselves a great deal of comfort in a true friend. A brother indeed is born for adversity, as he had said, ch. xvii. 17. In our troubles we expect comfort and relief from our relations, but sometimes there is a friend, that is nothing akin to us, the bonds of whose esteem and love prove stronger than those of nature, and, when it comes to the trial, will do more for us than a brother will. Christ is a friend to all believers that sticks closer than a brother; to him therefore let them show themselves friendly.
Fuente: Matthew Henry’s Whole Bible Commentary
The Best Friend
Verse 24 declares that a man that hath friends must pay the price of friendly ads to sustain that relationship with most; but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother, a friend who sticks because of love, not because of favors received. Such a friend was Jonathan to David, 1Sa 18:1-4; 1Sa 19:1-7; 1Sa 23:16-18. To a far greater extent is Jesus the friend that sticketh closer than a brother, Joh 11:5; Joh 11:35-36; Joh 13:23; Joh 15:15.
Fuente: Garner-Howes Baptist Commentary
CRITICAL NOTES.
Pro. 17:17. Friend and brother are related the one as the climax of the other. The friend is developed into a brother by adversity. (Langes Commentary).
MAIN HOMILETICS OF Pro. 17:17-18, and of CHAP. Pro. 18:24
TRUE FRIENDSHIP
I. A true friend loves under all conditions.
1. He loves in times of separation. The distance between our earth and the sun does not prevent the one from influencing the otherthere is a power in gravitation which can make itself felt even when the objects affected by it are thousands of miles apart. So true love is quite independent of spaceoceans may roll between the friends, yea, the very grave may separate them, and yet the gravitating force which first drew the heart of one man to another will make itself felt. It has been said that the dead and the absent have no friends, but this is a libel upon human nature. A friend loveth whether the object of his love is present or absent, and will, if needs be, defend his friends character when he is not present to speak for himself.
2. He loves even in times of temporary estrangement. Transitory differences are not incompatible with the most genuine friendship, and while human nature is in its present imperfect condition it will sometimes happen that one real and true friend will disappoint and grieve another. But if the real and true feeling is in the heart it will be as unshaken by these temporary disturbances as the root of the tree is by the storm-wind that moves its branches.
II. Friendship is especially precious in times of trial. True friends are not like the locust, which seeks only the green pastures and fruitful fields, and leaves them as soon as it has taken from them all that it could feed upon, but they are like the stars, the value of whose light is only really understood when all other lights are absent. When all is going well with a man he may underestimate the value of his friends regard; he may not really know how heartfelt it is; but when misfortune, or sickness, or bereavement overtake him, he realises that a brother is born for adversity.
III. There is a bond stronger than any tie of blood-relationship. We have abundant and melancholy proofs that the mere fact of being brothers according to the flesh does not make men one in heart. The first man who tasted death was murdered by his brother, and many sons of the same father since that day have been separated from each other by a hatred as deep and deadly as that which prompted Cain to murder Abel. In the family in which Solomon was a son there was one brother with the blood of another upon his head (2Sa. 13:28-30). Something stronger and deeper than the mere tie of blood is needed to make men one in heart. The most beautiful example of friendship upon record existed between the son of Saul and the shepherd of Bethlehem where there was no relationship according to the flesh, and where the heir-apparent to the throne loved as his own soul the youth who was to supplant him. There is no friendship so firm and enduring as that which is based upon doing the will of God (Mar. 3:35) no brotherhood so perfect and lasting as that which has its origin in a common discipleship to Him who is not ashamed to call them brethren (Heb. 2:11), and who is Himself the Friend above all others, whose love can span the distance between His throne in glory and the meanest hovel upon earth, and the greater distance between Divine perfection and human sinfulness, and who was in all things made like unto his brethren, that having Himself suffered being tempted, He might be able to succour them that are tempted (Heb. 2:17), and thus prove Himself to be pre-eminently the Brother born for adversity, and the Friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
IV. It is an evidence of great folly to treat men as bosom-friends before we know them. There are men who will trust in a comparative stranger to such an extent as to lend their credit and their good name to him without any reasonable security. Such a man Solomon here characterises as being void of understanding. It is a mark of a fool to enter into any engagement without deliberation, and in nothing does lack of wisdom more plainly manifest itself than in the formation of hasty friendships, especially if the friendship involves a man in any kind of suretyship. From lack of prudence in this matter many a man has been all his lifetime subject to bondage. It behoves all men in the matter of friendship to follow the advice of Polonius:
The friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hooks of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatched, unfledged comrade.
ILLUSTRATION OF TRUE FRIENDSHIP
Damon was sentenced to die on a certain day, and sought permission of Dionysius of Syracuse to visit his family in the interim. It was granted on condition of securing a hostage for himself. Pythias heard of it, and volunteered to stand in his friends place. The king visited him in prison, and conversed with him about the motive of his conduct, affirming his disbelief in the influence of friendship. Pythias expressed his wish to die, that his friends honour might be vindicated. He prayed the gods to delay the return of Damon till after his own execution in his stead. The fatal day arrived. Dionysius sat on a moving throne drawn by six white horses. Pythias mounted the scaffold and thus addressed the spectators, My prayer is heard; the gods are propitious, for the winds have been contrary till yesterday. Damon could not come, he could not conquer impossibilities; he will be here to-morrow, and the blood that is shed to-day shall have ransomed the life of my friend. Could I erase from your bosoms every mean suspicion of the honour of Damon, I should go to my death as I should to my bridal. As he closed a voice in the distance cried, Stop the execution! and the cry was taken up and repeated by the whole assembly. A man rode up at full speed mounted the scaffold, and embraced Pythias crying, You are safe now, my beloved friend! I have now nothing but death to suffer, and am delivered from reproaches for having endangered a life so much dearer than my own. Pythias replied, Fatal haste, cruel impatience! What envious powers have wrought impossibilities in your favour! But I will not be wholly disappointed. Since I cannot die to save you, I will not survive you. The king was moved to tears, and, ascending the scaffold, cried, Live, live, ye incomparable pair! Ye have borne unquestionable testimony to the existence of virtue, and that virtue equally evinces the existence of a God to reward it. Live happy, live renowned, and oh! form me by your precepts, as ye have invited me by your example, to be worthy of the participation of so sacred a friendship.
OUTLINES AND SUGGESTIVE COMMENTS
Pro. 17:17. The Friend. We are to notice the article. It does not impair the proverb for its secular use. We have such an idiom: the friend, i.e., the true friend. Even a worldly friend, to be worth anything, must be for all times; and what is a brother born for, but for distress? But spiritually, the article is just in its place. There is but One Only Friend, and a Brother who would not have been born at all, but for the distress and straitness of His house.Miller.
Friendship contracted with the wicked decreases from hour to hour, like the early shadow of the morning; but friendship formed with the virtuous will increase like the shadow of evening, till the sun of life shall set.Herder.
Extremity distinguisheth friends. Worldly pleasures, like physicians, give us over, when once we lie a-dying; and yet the death-bed hath most need of comforts. Christ Jesus standeth by His in the pangs of death, and after death at the bar of judgment; not leaving them either in their bed or grave. I will use them, therefore, to my best advantage; not trust them. But for Thee, O my Lord, which in mercy and truth canst not fail me, whom I have found ever faithful and present in all extremities, kill me, yet will I trust in Thee.Bp. Hall.
A friend shares my sorrow and makes it but a moiety; but He swells my joy and makes it double. For so two channels divide the river and lessen it into rivulets and make it fordable, and apt to drink up at the first revels of the Syrian star; but two torches do not divide, but increase the flame. And though my tears are the sooner dried up when they run on my friends cheek in furrows of compassion; yet when my flame has kindled his lamp, we unite the glories, and make them radiant, like the golden candlesticks that burn before the throne of God; because they shine by numbers, by unions, and confederations of light and joy.Jeremy Taylor.
When a man blind from his birth was asked what he thought the sun was like, he replied, Like friendship. He could not conceive of anything as more fitting as a similitude for what he had been taught to regard as the most glorious of material objects, and whose quickening and exhilarating influences he had rejoiced to feel.Morris.
A brother for adversity is one who will act the brother in a season of adversity. Of such an one it is said, he must or shall be born, possibly, he is born. I do not understand this last clause unless the assertion is, that none but such as are born brethren, i.e., kindred by blood, will cleave to us in distress. Yet this is true only in a qualified sense. But another shade of meaning may be assigned to the passage, which is, that such a man as a friend in adversity is yet to be born, i.e., none such are now to be found; thus making it substantially equivalent in sense to the expression: How few and rare are such faithful friends.Stuart.
As in the natural, so in the spiritual brotherhood, misery breeds unity. Ridley and Hooper, that when they were bishops, differed so much about ceremonies, could agree well enough, and be mutual comforts one to another when they were both prisoners. Esther concealed her kindred in hard times, but Gods people cannot; Moses must rescue his beaten brother out of the hand of the Egyptian, though he rescue his life by it.Trapp.
Man in his weakness needs a steady friend, and God in His wisdom has provided one in the constitution of nature. Not entrusting all to acquired friendship, He has given us some as a birthright inheritance. For the day of adversity a brother is born to many who would not have been able to win one. It is at once a glory to God in the highest, and a sweet solace to afflicted men, when a brother or a sister, under the secret and steady impulses of nature, bears and does for the distressed what no other friend, however loving, could be expected to bear or do. How foolish for themselves are those who lightly snap those bonds asunder, or touch them oft with the corrosive drops of contention! One who is born your brother is best fitted to be your friend in trouble, if unnatural strife has not rent asunder those whom their Maker intended to be one in spirit. There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. He must be a fast friend indeed, for a brother, if natures affections have been cherished, lies close in, and keeps a steady hold. Oh, when hindering things are taken out of the way of Gods work, a brother lies very close to a brother. He who comes closer must be no common friend. It is the idea of a friendship more perfect, fitting more kindly into our necessities, and bearing more patiently with our weaknesses, than the instinctive love of a brother by birth. From Gods hand-work in nature a very tender and a very strong friendship proceeds: from His covenant of mercy comes a friendship tenderer and stronger still. Now, although the conception is embodied in the communion of saints, its full realisation is only found in the love wherewith Christ loves His own. The precious germ which Solomons words unfold, bore its ripened fruit only when He who is bone of our bone gave Himself the just for the unjust. Thus by a surer process than verbal criticism, we are conducted to the man Christ Jesus, as at once the Brother born for adversity, and the friend that sticketh closer than a brother. In the day of your deepest adversity even a born brother must let go his hold. That extremity is the opportunity of your best friend.Arnot.
Pro. 17:18. It is good to try him whom we intend for a bosom friend before we trust him; as men prove their vessels with water before they fill them with wine. Many complain of the treachery of their friends, and say, with Queen Elizabeth, that in trust they have found treason; but most of these have greatest cause, if all things be duly weighed, to complain of themselves for making no better choice.Swinnock.
Seeing he hath not understanding to keep himself from hurt, it were good if he had not power in his hand to do himself hurt. Surely such a fool may quickly wring his hands together in sorrow, who before did clap his hands in joy, and may strike himself in anger with the same hand, wherewith in the foolish kindness of surety he struck the hand of another. For often this over-kind part of a friend is the breaking of friendship if it bring no further mischief.Jermin.
The evil effects of strife and pride, which form the subject of Pro. 17:19, have been treated before. See on Pro. 17:14, and on chaps. Pro. 11:2, and Pro. 16:18. Some expositors attach a slight difference to the meaning of the latter clause. See below.
OUTLINES AND SUGGESTIVE COMMENTS
Sets high (exalteth) his gate; a figure that is probably misunderstood. It probably means belligerence. A moat over which issued armed bands, with banners and mounted spearmen, required high space to let them go forth. Lift up your heads, O ye gates, etc. The soul that fixes itself that way against the Almighty, ready to march out upon Him on any occasion of quarrel, seeks ruin.Miller.
The slothful man exposes himself to misery; but he waits for it till it comes upon him like a traveller. The aspiring man, that cannot be happy without a stately dwelling, and a splendid manner of living beyond what his estate will bear, seeks for destruction, and sends a coach and six to bring it to him.Lawson.
And he that exalteth his gate seeketh destruction. Some take this for a comparison:As surely as he that exalteth his gate (enlarging it out of due proportion) seeketh destruction to his house, by thus weakening its structure,so surely does he that loveth strife generate transgression. The phrase exalteth his gate, however, instead of being thus understood literally, may, with more propriety, be interpreted of a mans ambitiously affecting a style of living beyond his incomedisproportionate to the amount of his means of maintaining it. The general character is described by one particular manifestation of itthe high style of the exterior of his mansion. The exalting of the gate applies to the entire style of his household establishmentnot to his dwelling merely, but to his equipage, his table, his servants, his dress, and everything else. He who does this seeks destruction: he courts his own downfall, as effectually as if it were his direct object to ruin himself. Matthew Henry, in his own quaint and pithy way, saysHe makes his gate so large, that his house and estate go out at it.Wardlaw.
There is none that loveth strife more than he that exalteth his gate, either the gate of his ears to hear the tales of others, and the praises of himself, or else the gates of his eyes overlooking others with scorn and disdain, and his own worth by many degrees, or else the gate of his mouth, which is properly the gate of man, with big and swelling words, with high and lofty terms which usually are the sparks that kindle contention. But what doth such an one do, but even seek for destruction, which at his lifted-up gate, findeth easy passage to run in upon him.Jermin.
For Homiletics on the subjects of Pro. 17:20-21, see on chapter Pro. 10:1; Pro. 10:13-14, etc., and on Pro. 17:24.
Fuente: The Preacher’s Complete Homiletical Commentary Edited by Joseph S. Exell
CRITICAL NOTES.
Pro. 18:24. The first clause of this verse should be A man of many friends will prove himself base, or is so to his own destruction, i.e., he who professes to regard everybody as his friend will, in so doing, involve himself in trouble.
MAIN HOMILETICS OF Pro. 18:24
THE OBLIGATIONS OF FRIENDSHIP
It will be seen from the Critical Notes that most modern critics translate the first clause of this verse very differently from the rendering in our Bibles. Some expositors, however, adhere to the old translation, and we therefore look at it
I. As expressing a need of human nature. It matters not in what condition man is found, whether in riches or in poverty, whether ignorant and rude or highly civilized and educated, he needs the friendship of one or more of his fellow creatures. The special good-will of some who can feel with him and for him in all the vicissitudes of life is indispensable to his happiness. Among all the gifts which an Almighty Father has given to His children, there is perhaps none, after his own gracious favour, which is so necessary to their welfare or is so productive of joy as this gift of friendship. Men cannot live a life of isolation and know anything of the enjoyment of life. We cannot conceive of even perfect creatures living such a lifewe know the angels and redeemed saints derive much of their bliss from the friendship of each other, and how much more does man in his present imperfect state need it. And the need can be supplied even in this selfish world. Men have been, and still are, able to find among their fellows those who are worthy of the name of friend. True it is that there is much that is called friendship that is unworthy of the name, but as we do not reject the real coin because there are base imitations of it, so we must not permit the counterfeit of friendship to shake our confidence in the real thing.
II. As setting forth an indispensable condition of making and keeping friends. If a man desires to know the sweets of real friendship he must be prepared to be himself a real friend. The selfish and morose man who will not deny himself for anothers good, or who cannot rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep, cannot expect others to deny themselves for him and to sympathise with his joy and sorrow. If there is to be a genuine friendship there must be mutual confidence and a mutual recognition of excellencies, for if the trust and admiration is on one side only the fire will soon burn out for want of fuel. There are men whose love cannot be extinguished by coldness and distrust, but they are few and far between, and the wise mans words hold good as a general rule that a man that hath friends must show himself friendly. (The latter clause of this verse was treated in Homiletics on chap. Pro. 17:17-18, page 518.)
OUTLINES AND SUGGESTIVE COMMENTS
A man of friends is apt to be broken all to pieces. (This is Millers rendering only.) The significance of the whole is that a man of wide acquaintance is apt to break. Human friendships cost. In the strife to appear well, in the time it takes, in the industries they scatter, in the hospitalities they provoke, and in the securityships they engender, broadening our socialities will try every one of us well. It is not so with heavenly friendships. All spiritual communisms bless.Miller.
Solomon delivers a warning against the vainglorious passion of aspiring to an universal acquaintance and an empty popularity, such as was courted by his brother Absalom, which will bring with it no support in adversity, but will ruin a man by pride and rashness and prodigal expenditure.Wordsworth.
SUMMARY OF THE CHAPTER.That the chapter before us treats mainly of the virtues of social life, of sociability, affability, love of friends, compassion, etc., appears not merely from its initial and closing sentences, the first of which is directed against misanthropic selfishness, the latter against thoughtless and inconstant universal friendship, or seeming friendship, but also from the various rebukes which it contains of a contentious, quarrelsome, and partisan disposition, e.g. Pro. 18:5-6; Pro. 18:8; Pro. 18:17-21. But in addition, most of the propositions that seem to be more remote may be brought under this general category of love to neighbours as the sum and basis of all social virtues; so especially the testimonies against wild, foolish talking (Pro. 18:2; Pro. 18:7; Pro. 18:13, comp. 4 and 15); that against bold impiety, proud dispositions and hardness of heart against the poor (Pro. 18:3; Pro. 18:12; Pro. 18:23); that against slothfulness in the duties of ones calling, foolish confidence in earthly riches, and want of true moral courage and confidence in God (Pro. 18:9-11; comp. 14). Nay, even the commendation of a large liberality as a means of gaining for ones self favour and influence in human society (Pro. 18:16), and likewise the praise of an excellent mistress of a family, are quite closely connected with this main subject of the chapter, which admonishes to love towards ones fellow-men; they only show the many-sided completeness with which the theme is here treated.Langes Commentary.
Fuente: The Preacher’s Complete Homiletical Commentary Edited by Joseph S. Exell
(24) A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly.Rather, a man of many friends will suffer loss, for he will impoverish himself by constant hospitality, and in trouble they will desert him (Psa. 41:9); but there is a friend, one in a thousand, that sticketh closer than a brother. (Comp. Pro. 17:17.)
Fuente: Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers (Old and New Testaments)
24. A man that hath friends friendly This is a good proverb as it stands, taken in a duly qualified sense, but it is very doubtful whether our Authorized Version gives the sense of the first clause. There are many varying translations of it. That of the Speaker’s Commentary is as good as any: “A man of many companions is so to his own destruction;” or, as Holden renders, “Is ready to be ruined.” Gesenius gives the sense as being “to destroy or ruin one’s self.” This may be understood of the man’s finances or his morals. There is a kind of friendship that is very expensive to a man, and very injurious. It requires a great deal of his time and attention, and is exhibited and maintained by expensive feasts, parties, and visits. A man’s friends sometimes make exorbitant claims upon him in a business way, and, not unfrequently, to accommodate them he ruins himself. The latter clause of the proverb, as we have it, can scarcely be improved. It has probably no direct reference to the higher and best Friend, to whom it is sometimes applied; but it is not misplaced when used in an accommodated way of HIM who indeed sticketh closer than a brother. Miller, on the contrary, according to his theory, says, “Though there is [in the clause] a secular use referring to human friendships, yet they are but the shadow of the divine. All disappoint save that One closer love that cleaves to us when a brother fails us.” Pro 18:23-24: are not found in the Septuagint.
Fuente: Whedon’s Commentary on the Old and New Testaments
v. 24. A man that hath friends must show himself friendly,
Fuente: The Popular Commentary on the Bible by Kretzmann
REFLECTIONS.
Reader! what a blessed thing it is to sit down under the teaching of the Holy Ghost; and while this book of God appears indeed truly parables, and must continue so unexplained, until that Jesus by his Spirit opens it to our understanding, for us to be led therefrom to see, the mysteries of his kingdom: To the pure (saith an apostle) all things are pure, but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure. Mark it down my brother, among the gracious things of God, to be brought out of the darkness of a natural state and to be introduced into the kingdom of his dear Son; what an unspeakable mercy is here! By this one act of sovereign grace all the blessings, privileges; titles, inheritance; all are made over and secure in the everlasting covenant. The Father engageth to bestow all the blessings of it. Jesus hath secured them by his blood and righteousness. And the Holy Ghost undertakes to instruct them into all the knowledge suited to their adopted state and character. He will guide them into all truth. He shall take of mine (saith Jesus) and shew unto you. All mysteries, parables, proverbs, essential for their furtherance in grace, and the knowledge of the Lord, shall be explained unto them. Unto you is given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God, but to others in parables. Hence, saith the Lord God; in one of the sweetest and most encouraging portions of scripture, wilt thou not from this time cry unto me, My Father thou art the guide of my youth? Jer 3:4 .
Fuente: Hawker’s Poor Man’s Commentary (Old and New Testaments)
Pro 18:24 A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother.
Ver. 24. A man that hath friends, &c. ] For Cos amoris amor, Love is the whetstone, or loadstone rather, of love. Marce, ut ameris, ama. a Love is a coin that must be returned in kind.
And there is a friend, &c.
a Martial.
Fuente: John Trapp’s Complete Commentary (Old and New Testaments)
A man. A special various reading called sevir reads yesh, instead of ish, which means “there is”, or “there are “instead of “a man”. It occurs three times: here, 2Sa 14:19, and Mic 6:10.
friends. Hebrew. re’im = feeders, from ra’ah to feed (Psa 23:1, shepherd).
must shew himself friendly = who break in pieces. Hebrew. Hithipolel of ra’a’ (App-44.)
there is. Hebrew. yesh, as in preceding line.
a friend = a lover (who loves “without cause”). Note the Figure of speech Paronomasia (App-6) in these words, which may be thus represented in English: “There are friends who rend us, But there is a lover who is closer than a brother. “
Fuente: Companion Bible Notes, Appendices and Graphics
Pro 18:24
Pro 18:24
“He that maketh many friends doeth it to his own destruction; But there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
There are two kinds of friends contrasted in this proverb. Those of the first clause are like the `friends’ of the prodigal son while he was squandering his inheritance in the far country, those who drank his liquor and encouraged him to waste his substance, but who would not give him a crust of bread when he ran out of money.
The friend that sticketh closer than a brother is the true friend. Tate recommended the RSV here as, “A reasonable attempt to reconstruct a difficult verse. “There are friends who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Pro 18:24. In what sense is the first statement true? In the many friends that people make, often there is one or a small handful of them that he would have been better off not to have known: the one or the group that turned against him and ruined him. In the long run they proved not to be true friends and are to be contrasted to the true friend who sticketh closer than a brother, such as Jonathan was to David, Jonathan was closer to David (1Sa 18:1-4; 1Sa 19:1-7; 1Sa 20:17; 1Sa 20:41-42; 1Sa 23:15-18) than his own brothers were (1Sa 17:28).
Proverbs of Solomon – Pro 18:1-24
Open It
1. When have you written or been tempted to write a “letter to the editor”?
2. What sorts of gossip did students in your school like to pass when you were younger?
Explore It
3. What main topics are explored in these verses? (Pro 18:1-24)
4. What sort of themes are developed in this chapter? (Pro 18:1-24)
5. In what does a fool delight? (Pro 18:2)
6. What did Solomon say about wisdom? (Pro 18:4)
7. How does a fools words affect his or her life? (Pro 18:6-7)
8. To what did Solomon compare gossip? (Pro 18:8)
9. What is the value in Gods name? (Pro 18:10)
10. What do pride and humility precede? (Pro 18:12)
11. What is the value of listening? (Pro 18:13; Pro 18:15; Pro 18:17)
12. What power does the tongue possess? (Pro 18:21)
13. What did Solomon say about the person who finds a wife? (Pro 18:22)
14. Whats the difference between a persons closest friends and his or her larger group of friends? (Pro 18:24)
Get It
15. Why do people like to share their opinions?
16. How can a persons words get him or her into trouble?
17. How is the tongue like a weapon?
18. Why do people enjoy spreading and hearing gossip?
19. How has the name of the Lord been like a strong tower in your life?
20. Why would someone speak before he or she has gotten all the facts?
21. What can we do to put a rein on our tongue?
22. How could the tongue “kill” someone?
23. How could the tongue be used to give life?
24. Why might it be good to find a wife?
25. Why is it better to have a few close friends than several companions?
26. What does it mean to be a loyal friend?
27. Who are your closest friends?
Apply It
28. In what situations do you want to be more careful about listening before you speak?
29. How can you use your tongue to help or encourage someone today?
30. How can you be loyal and trustworthy to your closest friends?
Fuente: Old and New Testaments Restoration Commentary
that hath: Pro 17:17, Pro 27:9, 1Sa 19:4, 1Sa 19:5, 1Sa 30:26-31, 2Sa 9:1-13, 2Sa 16:17, 2Sa 17:27-29, 2Sa 19:30-39, 2Sa 21:7, 1Ch 12:38-40, Mat 26:49, Mat 26:50
there: 2Sa 1:26, Joh 15:14, Joh 15:15
Reciprocal: Gen 21:27 – took Gen 23:7 – General Gen 39:8 – my master Deu 13:6 – thy brother Jos 2:14 – when the Lord Rth 1:14 – but Ruth Rth 4:15 – better 1Sa 18:1 – loved him 1Sa 20:17 – for he loved 2Sa 15:15 – Behold 2Sa 15:21 – surely Job 2:11 – friends Job 19:14 – kinsfolk Pro 27:10 – better Mar 14:31 – he spake Luk 5:7 – that they should
Fuente: The Treasury of Scripture Knowledge
Pro 18:24. A man that hath friends Hebrew, a man of friends; either, 1st, Who desires the friendship of others; or, 2d, Who professes friendship to others; must show himself friendly Must perform all kind offices to his friend, which is the very end of friendship, and the way to preserve it; and there is a friend that sticketh closer To him that desires and needs his help; who is more hearty in the performance of all duties of friendship; than a brother Than the nearest relation.
Fuente: Joseph Bensons Commentary on the Old and New Testaments
18:24 A man [that hath] friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer {q} than a brother.
(q) That is, often such are found who are more ready to do pleasure, than he that is more bound by duty.
Fuente: Geneva Bible Notes
The NASB translation of Pro 18:24 a is more true to the Hebrew than the AV that reads, "A man (who hath) friends must show himself friendly." The RV is perhaps the easiest of all to understand: "He that maketh many friends (doeth it) to his own destruction."
Why is it unwise to have many friends? Probably because when one has many friends the possibility that some of them will be false friends is greater (cf. Jer 38:22). It is better to have one or two good friends than many false friends.
"The significance of friends is found in their quality, not quantity." [Note: Waltke, The Book . . . 31, p. 97.]
Christians have often applied the second part of this verse to Jesus Christ (cf. Joh 15:12-15; Heb 2:11; Heb 2:14-18). While that is appropriate, Solomon’s point was that in contrast to false friends (Pro 18:24 a), some friends can be more faithful than our closest blood relatives. Such a friend is a true treasure.